can't get no sleep.

[mint]

I know I am not the only one and after reading what all us dear moms go through, i feel there is some ray of hope with my 7mth...I am so ready to pull my hair out instead I have let my hairdresser do it(chop). DD wakes up four times during the night, is an absolute nightmare to put down for naps during the day. On a lucky day she would sleep for 2 hrs the most. My doctor suggested that some babies do not need much sleep...I could definitely say I need sleep (my other one is 3 and an active/demanding child).I suppose it woulden't matter if she slept through the night(wishful thinking). There are days when I am so close on giving up BF, since its so convenient I haven't been brave to let it go for now. Saying that I have tried one bottle feed during the night it still woulden't make any difference. Is there any tip or trick I can try.
I feel bad for my older one...since she is getting so neglected and give me guilt trips by saying 'I spend less time with her'.
PS I need to be educated on the short computer lingo used on mums net.

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Hi,
i know how much of a nightmare it can be when you constantly get woken up night after night. My eldest ds(7) was a terrible sleeper. He had a very long phase of waking about 11 or 12 at night and staying awake until 3 or 4 in the morning and then getting up for the day at 6, then it changed to waking about 10 times a night just for about 10 minutes or so at a time, all very exhausting. My advice would be (and it's tough for you but worth it) To stop the feeding in the night. I would either offer water or gradually water down the formula until it's not worth waking up for. I would offer more milk during the day. I'm sure there will be a terrible protest but they do get the message after a few nights (usually). I knew a woman once who had 3 children and never fed any in the night past the age of 6 weeks! Sounds a bit severe to me but none ever woke her in the night.

Well I have the baby (11 months) that hasn't read the books! I have cut out night feeds (there was some protest) and she still wakes up twice in the night! I feel I do everything everyone says, people keep saying oh she will sleep now but she never does. Like you Mint my dd doesn't sleep much through the day - none of this magic 2 hour sleeps that people talk about. Sorry this is pessimistic message but feeling a bit c**p at the moment with lack of sleep.

My ds was never a big sleeper. He has never done much more than 10 hours total at night and 1.5 during the day. And he can often do less. He bf day and night every 2 hours for the first 6 mo., when I finally went on strike and did controlled crying. It worked in 2 days, although it did have to be redone periodically (after travelling or colds). He now (27 mo.) does sleep through the night, but still doesn't sleep or nap as much as others his age.

I would highly recommend controlled crying (I used the Ferber book), but make sure you get your partner to help you especially if you are bfing, as I don't think it's as effective when the mother goes in to do the comforting because the baby automatically expects milk.

Also, my ds would only take (and still only takes) naps in his buggy. It's actually very convenient, but it does mean I do have to push him around for 5 min in his buggy to get him to sleep. It might be worth trying if you are having trouble getting your baby to nap.

Good luck.

mint, my ds was exactly the same. he was always an awful sleeper, had colic for 3 months and only started sleeping through the night at 8 months (and he frequently has periods where he will wake 2-3 times a night). As a newborn he would only ever sleep in his car seat or pram during the day which meant that I didn't even get to catch up on my sleep in the day. It was truly awful and nearly drove me over the edge. I really, really know how you feel. (the nursery nurse at his nursery said she had never known a more difficult child to get to sleep!)
He's 18months now and much better although he goes through phases. I think there are definitely children who are naturally more wakeful. DS has never been a 'sleepy' baby so when he gets tired he doesn't get droopy eyes and he'll never 'rest' - he is constantly on the go. When he's tired he goes the other way and gets more and more manic.

SOrry to ramble on but just to say that you are not alone and I think some of their wakeful periods can be down to habit. I think adults can be the same for e.g. I sometimes get the wake up at exactly the same time every night for a few weeks and then it suddenly goes IFYKWIM.
It may also help when she gets old enough to run around and physically tire herself out more.

Do try controlled crying it may help to break the waking up 'habit'(although I have to confess that we followed it to the letter and it worked for 2 weeks and then he reverted to type!)
Does she have a comforter? fleecy blanket or teddy? could she be using the BF as comfort?

the wonders of motherhood....I am out to try all of the suggested tips given one by one til I get that baby controlled...the only problem or the biggets problem is having to involve the entire family and then some (neighbours). Basically we are living in a loft building in Toronto with plenty of rooms and no walls...one big football pitch(how much I miss our London home!!!!)
Besides dd screams are so intensely loud that I fear one day our dear hippy next door neighbour might call on the noise control authorities, not to mention my 3yr old that has to be up for 7.30 to get to school. I'M IN A PICKLE.
LINZOID the waterdown idea sounds good, sometimes she drives me to the point that i feel 'thats its no more booby feed for u' I should give her some flavour of water.
personally I feel if I give her my boobs she won't create a fuss and wake up everyone. DH was good with staying up at night with the first one..now is a totally different story.
FOREST I totally support how you are feeling right now...Hope when u read this message you are feeling much better(I can totally relate to the yukky feeling).
Katierocket I so agree DD uisng BF as a comforter. How possibly a baby whose face is stuffed during the day can still want so much at night? I tried the pushchair therapy and at the end I was ready for a therapy myself.
So this is what I am going to do...try every suggested method over a period and come back with results or find me in desperatey seeking vacation forum.
YOU WOMEN ARE SUCH SPORTS & SUPPORT.

Mint - I am with you on this one. My dd is now nearly 10months and we have had about 3 nights where she has slept through (waking at about 5-6am) doesn't mean I have though!! She to hasn't read the books either. I got her into the gina ford routine at an early age as she wouldn't sleep at all unless I held her she followed it like a dream in the day and went to sleep on her own at night at 7pm, still does but there is nothing in the blasted books about babies who do it all right in the day and then ignore the fact that they are meant to sleep through the night! The water/milk/bf thing made no difference it just meant if I cut it down/out she woke up more making more of a fuss (I did try for days) there is no rhyme or reason in why my dd wakes up, some nights its 3 or 4 times and then like last night she slept through although we have been up since 5am yawn... Controlled crying is all very well if you are a rested parent but if like me you are knackered all the time due to no sleep and work 4 days in a hectic job plus looking after the family, cleaning the house, shopping and the rest , its the last thing you feel like doing, also again it doesn't mean your child will do what the books say. Unfortunately as you were told some babies just don't need sleep, it may be inherited, I didn't need sleep as a child and my dp certainly never has . I am hoping that there comes a time, probably when she crawls that she will exhaust herself and just sleep a little more, not much help when you are at your witts end. My dp keeps offering for me to sleep in a b & b down the road but I refuse to let it get to me that much as I may never move back! DD's latest is to wake up at around 11pm and just scream blue murder until she is picked up, she then goes back to sleep and when you put her down she starts up again so I have taken to giving her a bottle as she won't drink much during the day and I am convinced that she is hungry. She drinks it all up so what does that mean? We just find our way I suppose, keep doing what your doing, just because something works for one person doesn't mean it works for everyone, here says someone who speaks from experience in trying everything! I am surrounded by friends with 'good' babies but you know what mine is the one that gets all the comments from strangers as to what a happy gorgeous thing she is and you know what, it makes up for all the sleepless nights.
good luck mint, sorry to have taken over rabbiting but Sleep is my favourite subject, I long for it.....