starting to feel a little desperate

[wem]

4 week old dd has never slept well, but it's getting worse. Last night I got zero sleep for the first time and I can just feel it happening again tonight. She didn't settle for a nap all day, I ended up dozing sat on the sofa with her asleep in my arms. I managed to get an hour in the evening when DH was home but she then started with the cluster feeding which hasn't stopped. 1 hour's sleep in the last 36.

She just won't lie flat. Last night I took her into our bed to feed and she slept fitfully for a brief while, but in the end I was half asleep with her sleeping on my chest.

She's very windy but doesn't seem colicky - doesn't cry as long she's held/feeding. But she brings her knees up as soon as she's put down. Started giving infacol today, but the leaflet says it could take a few days to take effect.

For the first time saying 'it's only temporary, she'll grow out of it' is no comfort at all. 4 weeks of 3 or 4 hours sleep a night and now this

oh wem, I know how hard it is when you are sleep deprived, but this is how tiny babies are. She will want to be close to you all the time, and won't really begin to 'sleep through' (which actually means sleeping 5 hours in a row) until she is at least 12 weeks old. Human beings CAN survive on very little sleep, but you have to go with her on this one - let her sleep on your chest, cuddle her on the sofa and doze yourself. Co-sleep if it means you can rest. It WILL get easier, but not for a few more weeks.
My first baby woke to feed every two hours, for the first year of her life. I co-slept, otherwise I would have collapsed!!

Hang in there

oh dear god i remember this. dd1 was a terrible feeder and feeding on demand meant that she was feeding every two hours which after winding her meant that i slept an hour, was awake an hour, slept an hour etc

By god did i love thursday nights when my best friend came around (with cream cakes and wine ) and let me have a bath and some uninterupted sleep.

i have to admit there were times i just put her in her cot and left her to cry while i went downstairs for a coffee because i couldn't take anymore and was worried that i would hurt her. i was a single mum so there was no respite when dh/dp came home.

this went on untill she was three months when i woke yup at 5am after feeding her at 12:30am diving straight out of bed thinking 'god something has happened to the baby' she was peacefully snoring away

it wasn't long after that that she was sleeping all the way from 8pm and not waking untill 8am. there will be an end to this. it might not seem like atm but it will not last forever. unless dh snores then you might aswell just resign yourself to a life with no sleep

thanks Rose. She's so gorgeous I forgive her in the morning the nights are just so hard.

sorry, cross posts, thanks shesells too. Can't imagine how I would cope without dh, your best friend sounds like a star.

thanks for the words of hope - 12.30 to 5am sounds like bliss

4 weeks is a classic age for a growth spurt. DS slept better a bit elevated. If she's overly gassy read up on foremilk/hindmilk imbalance do you ever see those "mustard seeds" in her poo? (It's excess fats from hind milk that pass through undigested a sign she's getting loads of hind milk at some point.)

Just wanted to give my sympathies and let you know that I went through a very similar phase with DS. My solution was to cluster feed for much of the evening - DS just fed and dozed from about 4pm till 9pm. I had a stash of food/drink to keep me going and watched TV so we were both happy. Night times were hard with regular wakings and feedings, but after a few weeks, DS just seemed to get better and adjusted his own bed time so it got earlier every day until he was in bed at 7pm, sleeping till 2/3am. I think the more you fight against a very tiny baby's wishes/needs, the worse they get. Keep her close to you for a few more weeks - everyone always says the first 6/8 weeks are the hardest and then after that, they seem to settle down and life becomes so much easier.

Keep going and enjoy the cuddles

Hi, you have my sympathy too... it's not at all easy is it. Yes, it does get a bit easier (until it gets hard again but while it's lasting it's a nightmare.

I do agree more or less with the others that unfortunately at 4 weeks this is normal behaviour. We used infacol too but didn't see any difference, but for you it may work. One thing I wonder about (since you say she doesn't seem comfortable lying down) maybe she has reflux? Does she spit up excessively? You can ask your GP for more details on this...

The thing that helped us at that stage (our son is now 17 weeks) is co-sleeping. Even if it's not something you want to do in the long run, it's a great solution for those early, very sleep-deprived weeks. Just to give you a picture of how things change, at 4 weeks (and up till 6 weeks or so) our DS would shriek each time we even went NEAR his moses basket, & simply refused to sleep there: ever!! But he was perfectly happy to sleep with us. Now, a few weeks down the line (he's now 17 weeks) he sleeps happily in his cot, in another room. This early on they really don't form habits, & you just want to make your life easier. With co-sleeping you can bf while snuggling in your bed, & it'll be easier for your baby too.

Anyway, hope some of this helps... The thing is, it's very very hard. But what I've found is that just at those moments when things seem as if they can't go any worse, suddenly the little one has a good night's sleep, & gives you a breather! Hang in there, it'll soon get better. I think by 6 weeks you should be seeing some positive changes.

just thought i'd add our ds s the same age so i feel your pain! we spend hours every night trying to settle him but then he does go through for initially 4 hours - but that's only started since we got him on infacol and he sleeps with moses basket raised and i've made a massive concerted effort to wind him really well before putting him down

just keep hanging onto everyone saying it gets easier!! good luck hun