DS 8 months old, co sleeping and breastfed, waking every hour all night please help

[AnguaVonUberwald]

DS slept beautifully until he was about 4 months old, and then started waking up more and more.

We put him to bed each night in his own bed which works initially but he wakes up around 11 and then ends up in bed with us for the rest of the night (its that or and hour and a half each time to get him back to sleep)

He is now at the stage when some nights he wakes up every hour, he then breastfeeds himself back to sleep and then wakes up an hour later and does it again! He can do that all night.

A good night is one where he only wakes up every two hours!

He will take a bottle and we have tried that, in case he is hungry, but he doesn't seem interested, and if we try DH rocking him, holding him, he gets totally hysterical until he goes back on the breast!

He might still be teething, but he already has 6 teeth, and is distractible for short amounts of time. Eitherway, we can't simply give him painkillers every night!

Please can someone help. Is this normal? Does it pass? Is it our fault? How do we change it? I can't take this much longer, my breasts are killing me, no-one is getting enough sleep and I see no signs of it changing.

Heeeellllllllllllllllppppppppppppp! [pathetic tired emoticon]

Morning Anguavonuberwald

First things first you have to get some sleep, is there anyone that can have him for a couple of hours in the day for you to catch up, it really will do you the world of good.

Secondly, I can't tell you why, but I can tell you what hapened with my dd. She's the same age however I ahve recently stopped BF. When I was though she went through a period of having to be breastfeed to sleep. Nothing else would work, I would ahve to feed her to sleep then try and get her in the cot before she realised she's wasn't on anymore, then she'd wake up and I'd have to start from scratch again. I would suggest its the same for your LO and this would explain why he is waking up and then going back to sleep as soon as he's latched back on.

So how did I do it? Well I woke up one day and decided I wasn't going to do it anymore. Fed her in the morning and made sure she didn't drop off, if she did I woke her up, taking her off, winding, changing nappy, when I was sure she'd had enough I put her in her cot. She has a snuggly, and is a thumb sucker (but had stopped doing this to get to lseep), I put her down and left the room, I started to use a certain phrase every time ( night night baby, mummy loves you & with a kiss) I put her down, If she didn't settle, I rubbed if needed and shhh'd. A bit of PUPD as well. But when ever I left her I would always go downstairs - purely because there were lots of times when I would go to see her becuase she was making noises and by the time I'd get there she was asleep! Also, remember there are crying and I'm mad cause I'm not asleep noises the first needs attemtion IMO the second will get madder if you interfear.

It can be really hard to change, as I've read on here, but you can't carry on like this. As I said at the beginning this may not be the problem however it worked in my case. Another tip would be to do a search on here cause loads of people have this problem and I'm sure there are many different, and probably better, ways than mine.

Good luck x

LovebeingAMummy.

DH had friday off and has a couple of days off this week, so he is taking DS so that I can get some sleep (and we are also both sleeping when DS sleeps). It means we get nothing else done but at least we are able to function slightly.

Then my mother is coming on Sat, to stay for a couple of days and my MIL has offered to come after that if we need her (bless her, she is far away and not too well, but still offered).

Other than that, yes we have to change what we are doing. The fear is that there is something wrong with him that we are not realising (he gets totally hysterical at the moment at the first hint of not getting breast).

What does PUPD stand for?

Thank you very much for sharing your experiance, it gives me hope that we can change things!

Can you "stoke him up" by breastfeeding him all evening?

Anna888, we have tried that, last night he wouldn't go to sleep until around 9.30, so I was feeding him again (avocado and breast milk), both of which he took, so I really thought he might sleep a little bit longer, he first woke up at 11.30!!!

When he is awake he doesn't feed for long, but at night he can just lie there and suck, for ages, it seems to be comfort more than anything else (we think), as we have tried giving him formula, and he rejects it!

Where does he go to sleep? In bed, or does he just fall asleep in your lap while feeding in the sitting room?

I used to just keep DD with me and watch TV while getting her to cluster feed and then let her sleep on my lap until I went to bed.

Anna888. We have an amby nest,

www.amby.co.uk/

which has worked very well during the day but if we are in the room now, he turns on his front in it. So if we want to get him to sleep at night, first of all we have to leave the room, and secondly it takes over an hour.

We can usually get him to sleep in it (and if not then on me), at the start of the eveing. But its when he wakes up in the night that we have the problem

He is getting too big for the amby nest, and we have bought a cot we are trying to find the time to set up, but I fear it will make the problem worse, as he doesn't understand sleeping in cots yet!

My DD would happily sleep on her own during the day and in daylight when she was your DS' age (ie in a Moses basket or in a pram which I kept stationed in the dining room) but was much less keen to be on her own at night/in the dark. So I just kept her in bed with me, and fed her lying down - I have literally never got up in the night for her. She did wake me to feed, but it wasn't horrid.

I had a very similar 8 month old until about 3 weeks ago when we all hit a tiredness wall.

I read this article which was recommended on here.

That article is for a much older baby but it helped me to think about what I'm aiming for. We decided to put DD into her own room but with unlimited reassurance throughout the night if required. She's now in a pattern of bed at 7, wakes usually around 10.30-11 as we go to bed and has quick feed, then wakes once before the morning. Which is a huge improvement for us.

I couldn't do controlled crying but havimng read the article I made more effort to ensure DD was going into her cot awake rather than feed her to slepp as I had been doing previously.

Maybe it will help you too??

My 2 DDs have both co-slept but with very different experiences. DD1 would feed, roll over go back to sleep until the next feed.

DD2 is more of a constant snacker who would hapily sleep all night with the boob in her mouth. Sadly I can't sleep like that. I'd wake up with back ache head ache etc.

I've come to the conclusion (on my extensive study of 2 ) that some babies are better suited to co-sleeping than others hence the measures in my earler post

Angua - you have my total sympathy. my DS was like this. waking every hour. but IT PASSES. I know it's hard right now but it does pass.

i think you need to decide what you want to do. if you are happy having him in with you then riding it out is an option. Have you heard of Dr Jay Gordon? He is an advocate of co-sleeping and has written a good article about it here he generally doean't recommend it for babies younger than a year but if you are looking to make a change then this one is gentle.

let me just say again though IT WILL PASS!

lol xpost with blowin!

I was going to post but blowninonabreeze has taken the words right out of my mouth...

DD's sleep went screwy at 4m (like Angua's ds) and we co-slept all or part of the night till about 8m when I couldn't take it any more (like blownin) and we made the decision to try for 'all night in your own cot'.

I read Jay Gordon's articles and the No-Cry Sleep Solution, formulated A Plan and accepted that it would be hard at first; and it was (lots of charging up and down stairs and doing 20min shifts with DH), but we never left her to cry and (apart from when she was actually ill) she never came back into our bed.

She's now 15m and wakes either once or twice a night, going back to sleep within 15min each time.

Thankyou so much ladies. I would love to have DS continue to sleep in bed with us, and if he woke once or twice a night, I think we could continue it for a long time.

However, like many of you, I just can't keep this up. There are so many nights now were he wakes up every hour, feeds for at least 10 mins adn then does exactly the same thing an hour later. I am so tired its affecting my relationship with him. We can't continue like this.

I have read the article, which is great. At least it seems to give the backup to not just leaving him to "cry it out".

I have also bought "the no cry sleep solution" but have worried that there is something that matter with DS, and that he is crying so hysterically because of it.

I think that like MrsBader we need "A Plan" and to give it good try for a few nights.

Its been really good to read your experiances, I am looking for a "gentle" way to change things, even if that means it takes longer.

I will let you know how it goes.

Good luck

good luck

In our case The Plan was key because it brougth DH, who had previously felt a bit unempowered re sleep by the whole ebf thing, on side and gave him a positive and defined role rather than helplessly patting my shoulder as dd and I wailed together...

Sorry only just come back online.

PUPD is pick up put down, basically pick up if crying once settle put back down again once stopped crying.

OK, well the first night went as well as could be expected! He did actually fall asleep in the cot, with lots of stroking and singing but then woke up at 10.15 and was screaming and crying until 12.15

We talked to him, sang to him and stroked him, so I didn't feel that at any point he wasn't clear that we were there with him and eventually he went to sleep, he woke up at 3, but went to sleep again really quickly.

He then woke up at 6 and we brought him in with us. Now the article says we can do that, but has anyone else done it as it feels a bit like a mixed message to me?

Ladies, thank you for your help, and this has worked brilliantly.

The thing is DS is now sleeping from 7 at night till 5 in the morning, which is more than we have ever had before. The question is, what do I do with him at 5 in the morning? I have tried the same methods of getting him back to sleep, and he is capable of screaming until 7!!! I have tried breastfeeding in case he is hungry, and then putting him down, but that doesn't seem tohelp either.

Should I just say that 10 hours is amazing, more than we have ever had before and get up at 5 every day, or should I try and get him back to sleep? And then what do I do if he just won't go? At what point do I give up? And then doesn't that teach him that if he cries it works?

We tried to get him back to sleep from 5 till 7 today, and he is now screaming in his cot, even though he is exhausted, as he wants me to get him up!

Funnily enough I wonder if he is going to bed too early for him. I would try everything you can to keep him up an extra 15 minutes every evening, and attend to him 15 minutes later every morning, so eventually the ten hours ends at 7 rather than 5. This will take a week or two to achieve though.

Virginboffinmum.

Thanks, I think that is what I am going to have to do, he gets tired at 7 automatically now, but if I streatch it out by 15 mins every evening. till 8 or 8.30 then hopefully he will sleep till 6 or 6/30 which I can cope with. Its just that 5 is so early!