10 week old convinced night is day and awake from 10pm to 3am

[TooMuchMakkaPakka]

This is getting a bit ridiculous. I wake her to feed every three hours in the day but she is often quite sleepy esp if we go out of the house, due to motion of buggy or car.
I can't sleep in the day as have DS (2.5 years).
She seems quite hungry over the 10pm to 3am period and feeds quite a bit i don't know if she is just hungry and i have no milk (totally BF). Sometimes i think she is overtired and just can't get off to sleep at other times she seems quite alert (though i try to discourage this). She will sleep in a sling as i wiggle my computer chair around and do Mumsnet, but only fitfully.
I know putting her on a very strict routine would probably help and don't want lectures to this end because
a) i want to be more responsive to my baby and DS than a very strict routine allows (realise it is a contenious statement but it is my opinion - sorry).
b) I can't leave her to cry when DS is asleep for long as she wakes him up.
c) i probably just can't manage an extremely strict routine, even if i wanted to. DS does wake her quite a bit during the day by trying to cuddle her, talking at toddler volume near to her (or just in the same house!) etc.
However there must be a way of convincing my baby she is not australian (without a very strict routine). How?

no advice from me, but plenty of sympathy - I have a 4 week old who is on a similar clock. Thought we'd had a break through last night when she settled at 1.30am and slept til 5.30, but I haven't managed any sleep tonight. She'll sleep lightly on my shoulder after a feed, but stirs as soon as I put her down.

A HV I spoke to last week said your milk supply increases at night (more prolactin sloshing around apparently) which could be why they choose night time to cluster feed? Could be rubbish I suppose

My ds did this. You have my sympathy op.

What you describe between 10pm and 3am sounds like cluster feeding. You need to try and gently shift her cluster feeding earlier and earlier. Start her off at 9:45 or 9:30 one night, then 15-30 mins earlier each night until she starts her boob marathon at a convenient time for you (no good if it's dinner/bath/bed time for your DS) and then go to bed as soon as she falls asleep because that post-cluster-feed sleep is going to be the longest one due to all the lovely hind milk. When you've caught your breath you can stay up for an hour or two and have some adult time with DH.

I used to give cluster feeds before putting her down for the night no matter what else had happened, or feeds she's taken. Always had a feed at 6pm and one before bed at 7:30.

Yes thanks for your sympathy, it's getting a bit better, ie moving forward in the day. But the number of feeds is tremendous. today she woke at 5.30pm and was awake until 12.30am. During that time she fed with increasingly short intervals between(i think six feeds in total). I guess i have problems when DH is on the late shift at work as i am trying to do DS's tea/ bath/ story bed rather than huge numbers of breastfeeds so the whole thing gets started later. Luckily this is an early shift week.
Off to bed shortly!

Sounds like a growth spurt. DO you ever see the mustard seeds in her poo? It could be that she's being too lazy to get the hind milk out and is living off easily digested fore milk and is getting hungry sooner than she should. You can do breast compressions to help her get more hind milk out at a feed and see if this helps.

My DS did this too and tho was hard at the time its a distant memory now as hopefully it will be soon with you!
I/We (DH) did the usual of not putting on lights to feed in the night, no talking or eye contact etc that the HV told us to do and eventually he just stopped waking up and started going longer between feeds and falling back to sleep easier.
Good luck x

Hi, I have no useful advice I'm afraid as I got lucky with ds but I thought you'd like to know - my SIL has much the same problem with her 9 week old ds. She is sticking to a strict bedtime routine, down at same time every night, trying not to rock to sleep/co-sleep etc....and it has not helped at all in 9 weeks.

I really hope it sorts itself out soon but I just wanted to say that you should stick to what feels right for you and do whatever works to get some sleep - I honestly think SIL would be happier if she did that but she is really worried about getting her ds into "bad habits".

My total sympathy - was about to post a similar plea for help. DD2 is 7 weeks and feeds every hour from 6pm till 10 at best - often 1am. Luckily then sleeps for a few hours before being wide awake at 5am and then dropping off around 10am and sleeping all morning. Doesn't seem to matter how much she sleeps or doesn't sleep during the day - nights are still horrendous. DP and I arguing every night as he is sure there is something we could do to change it while I feel we probably just have to ride it out.

Ches - see loads of mustard seeds in her poo. Is this good or bad?

She's still doing this but most nights is stopping a bit earlier - 1.45 last night but ususally around midnight / 1 am - a bit more bearable than 3.

Have had DH looking after DS one morning at the weekend so feeling much better