DD is one, she's a dreadful sleeper ,I'm pg again and shattered. Please help!

[silkcushion]

My dd has been a fairly dreadful sleeper always.

She had terrible eczema which set off a bad sleep pattern from a young age as she would wake up scratching.

Luckily now she is loads better and her skin is not itchy at night. But she still wakes and screams the house down most nights.

I've tried controlled crying but she doesn't stop when you pop into the room to soothe her. Sometimes nothing seems to work at all and I'm often up for 2-3 hours.

Has been tiring anyway as a full time working mum but at 10 weeks pg I feel like it's going to kill me.

She refuses to sleep in nursery during the day as it's too exciting. At weekends she sleeps for hours as she is exhausted.

Any ideas?

What age is she?

sorry for the delay - my computer crashed.

She turned 1 on 7th Nov

Poor you- there is NOTHING so tiring as the first trimester!

Firstly, I personally, would not allow my 1yo to be up for 2-3 hours in the night. My dd1 (middle child) was not a good sleep. She would wake up and scream every night. I would go in and reassure her/cuddle her for a few minutes and go back to bed. If she was hysterical and wouldn't stop crying I would take her in with me for maybe up to an hour max and then say, 'ok, it's time to go back to your own bed now' and take her back, she was always fine after that.

The good news is that it continued till she was 16mo and since then she has been a FAB sleeper so it does get better.

Is thereany other reason why she might be crying that you can think of?

Where is she at with teething? If she's about to get her molars, this explains inconsolable screaming. Where is she at with separation anxiety? This also makes bedtime hard.

On the other hand, you've turned a corner at her birthday. Soon she'll be processing sequences and her bedtime routine will become something she understands and she'll take comfort in knowing what comes next. She'll also move onto following instructions soon and these two things make life much easier for you with sleep issues. Oh, and the pointing phase is coming up which starts her attempts at communicating with you. The second year is much easier than the first.

Just adding my sympathy as my 20 month old is also a dreadful sleeper, and needs to bf to get back to sleep.

I've just started a thread asking for advice from people who've sucessfully 'helped' their older babies to sleep better, so hopefully we'll get some advice there.
Maybe we could use it for support too?

I only work 2 days a week, and I feel too shattered to think logically, so I sympathise.
xx

Monster - I'm really trying not to allow her to be up for so long and occasionally she settles down more quickly. Even if I take her into my bed then she will not sleep. I can't think of a single time since she was about 4 weeks old where she's fallen asleep on or with someone, only in her cot or the car seat. I'm delighted to hear your dd suddenly became good at sleeping. At least I know there is hope.

Ches - she is definitely teething this week with molars but during the day she is really happy if somewhat dribbly. Teething surely can't explain weeks and weeks of this can it?

She understands bedtime routine I think and I never have trouble putting her bed. She goes down quietly and cuddles her teddy until she drops off. She will also generally play on her own in the morning if she wakes before we do. She's been pointing for maybe two/three months now and saying who's that and how's that incessantly for 6 weeks. She's a great little communicator during the day and understands instructions (even if she sometimes refuses to follow them). It's as if at night time someone switches my daughter with another child!

Doris - I have my fingers crossed for both of us.

Hello silk, your old schoolfriend here

Not sure if I have told you this before but DS was a rubbish sleeper for ages. It definitely was related to his teething (thankfully over now) and we just took him into bed with us on those nights. We've also driven the streets to get him to nod off too, but obviously that is a last resort mission.

I think you need to get nursery to crack the daytime sleeping thing. I've found that the better DS sleeps during the day, the better he sleeps at night.

Good news is that I definitely feel less tired at 16 weeks than I did at 10 weeks, something rather remarkable happened at 13 weeks or so and I felt full of energy again.

Oh, and intermittently DS is now an excellent sleeper, so there is light at the end of the tunnel.

My DS1 was a dream sleeper DS2 sleeper from hell. I ended up exhausted, as described by doctor, left side of body swelled up for no reason - really weird.

I had to do something. He was 18months in a bed not a cot, because he climbed out of that. I fitted a stair gate to the bedroom door and did controlled crying.

The stair gate was for me as much or more than for him. It kept me from going to him and making a fuss. He would scream on one occasion for an hour relentlessly. I would talk soothingly for a couple of minutes and then remove myself for a couple of minutes (its agony)

But within four nights he went until 5am. Nights one and three were the worst very nearly gave up as I was up most of night three and thought it was getting worse then night four he went till 5, then did same night five. He's still a lighter sleeper than DS1(a year on) and does wake one or two nights a week, but fairly quickly resettles in his own bed.

What ever you try good luck

Yip, molars are hell. They're distracted enough during the day but come nap/bed time, they go all Mr. Hyde on you. Our molar hell started in June and stopped in mid-November with the emergence of four molars and two canines.