Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

Original poster

Is anyone else trying to limit dummy use at bedtime and is it pointless?

20 replies

Jane7 · 27/11/2008 10:27

I've introduced a dummy to help settle my fractious 7 week old. Usually I let him fall asleep in the moses basket with it in and then pull it out a few minutes later when he's asleep and he doesn't notice...but the last few nights when i've done this he's woken up and cried so i've had to put it back in again. This happens a few times and I've been tempted to leave it in. But i REALLY want to avoid having to get up several times every night to pop it back in. I can see he's beginning to associate sleep with having the dummy in his mouth and need it more and more. Has anyone succeeded in using a dummy just to settle and not all night? And how did they do it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Anglepoise · 27/11/2008 10:31

Does he actually wake up if it falls out while he's asleep?

Original poster

Jane7 · 27/11/2008 10:52

Um, not sure actually anglepoise, haven't experimented with that yet because i'm always trying to pull it out before it drops out!

OP posts:

Anglepoise · 27/11/2008 11:47

The only experience I have of settling with a dummy was when I finally got DD to sleep with one at 2.30 am the other night after hours of trying. I too removed it very very gently so it wouldn't wake her if it fell out and yep, that woke her up - argh. Tbh I'd be tempted to leave it (I will next time!) and see if it actually is a problem. But then I'm very much from the school of doing what works now and worrying about bad habits etc later, and I have very little dummy experience!

plumcake · 27/11/2008 18:19

I want to know the answer to this too please!

Original poster

Jane7 · 27/11/2008 21:21

anyone an expert on dummy use?

OP posts:

Original poster

Jane7 · 28/11/2008 18:20

still hoping to hear from dummy users... bumpity bump.

OP posts:

LovesTents · 28/11/2008 18:26

Sorry prob not much help but my 2 youngest had dummies, and i found they did become dependent on them for sleep.
After a while they just pop the dummy back in themselves, can't remember what age they do this at though.
Mine were in the moses basket beside our bed and i used to sleepily put it back in their mouths, after a while i think i used to do it in my sleep.
Anything to stop them using my tits as a dummy was fine by me

pudding25 · 28/11/2008 19:05

I used a dummy to get dd to sleep until she was 16 wks old when we got rid of it as it was disturbing her sleep.

However, it was invaluable when she was little. It helped her get in a good sleeping routine without leaving her to cry. She was also a very sucky baby and it helped soothe her without me having to feed her 24/7.

So, I would use a dummy again to help a baby to sleep, but it often does end up disturbing sleep too when they get to about 3mths.

Maria2007 · 28/11/2008 19:13

I'm still using a dummy for my 17 week old, but to be honest it's become a huge problem- especially since we've now moved him to his cot in his own room- it means we have to go to his room all night long, and I MEAN ALL NIGHT LONG!, to replug it whenever it falls out. Unfortunately in the case of our baby the dummy is a big problem, & I will have to wean him off it in a few weeks. With other babies though it's fantastic, they use it to soothe themselves to sleep & then spit it out & sleep through the night without caring about the dummy. If your baby is a light sleeper & is very sucky (like my baby is) then I would advise you to not use it at all. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but judging from our own nightmarish experience- we literally are not getting any sleep because of the dummy- I would do it very differently if I were to start again. Anyway, that's just my experience & my opinion. I have friends whose babies have dummies & use them beautifully, so it really depends on the baby... but you can't know that beforehand!

SquiffyHock · 28/11/2008 19:13

My 2 used a dummy. I swore 2nd time around that I wouldn't but DD started sucking her thumb so I gave her a dummy. I know that lots of people will disagree with this but I know too many 7yr olds who can't stop thumb sucking.

I think that, like LoveTents, I was just popping it in sleepily for the first few weeks. By 9 weeks DD was sleeping for 12 hours every night so it wasn't an issue. We used a dummy clip on her grobag from the beginning (so we could find it at first) and I always used to guide her hand to it. Pretty soon, (sorry I can't remember when) she could find it herself.
We took it away at 18 months by cutting a hole in it. I always used it as a sleep thing, she only ever had it out of bed or the car when she was poorly.
God I sound regimented !!

To answer your question though, it never disrupted sleep - in the very early days you would have to get up and pop it back in but I never walked the floor with a crying baby, they both slept 12 hours plus naps from an early age (12 & 9 weeks) and they are both still great sleepers now (aged 4 and 2). Will use one with number 3!!

Original poster

Jane7 · 30/11/2008 20:48

pudding - how did you get rid of it at 16 months? did you just take it away...
does that mean a few nights of crying?
maria - poor you. i'm afraid i don't have any suggestions but i hope things get better.

OP posts:

Maria2007 · 01/12/2008 10:44

I think pudding took it away at 16 weeks (or am I wrong). Yes, would love to hear how the weaning went, although I think pudding has written this again in another thread (but would LOVE a reprise just to have some hope...)

pudding25 · 01/12/2008 13:17

Hi, it was 16 wks. There isother thread above this one where I described what we did.

Becky77 · 01/12/2008 13:35

Up until 12 weeks I'd just let your baby suck on the dummy and drop it himself... Then when you get to 12 weeks it just takes a day or two to get rid of it. This is what I did and I'd do the same again.

In the first 3 months they find it really difficult to self settle and the bloomin' startle reflex doesn't help... But at around 12 weeks things really do get much easier If you leave it longer than around 12 weeks it gets more tricky though.

HSMM · 01/12/2008 14:14

I was completely useless at getting the dummy away from my DD at night ... but this was the only time she had one, so I tried not to worry about it too much. I even resorted to scattering a few around her cot, so she would be able to find one if she woke up. I was adamant that they stayed in the cot and didn't go anywhere else.

Kelix · 01/12/2008 14:33

DD is 10 months and still has hers - yes it is a problem in the night she will wake up and cry and when I 'plug' it back in she goes back off to sleep. She used to be able to find it herself when I had the bumper on. But now that has been removed it just tends to fall out of the cot

Am desperate to get rid of it but have no idea where to start?

Must say it was a godsend for the first few months tho

SydneyB · 01/12/2008 15:39

DD had one til she was 7 mths and the only reason we took it away was because the nursery used it all the time and I only wanted her to use it for sleep. She cried for 10 mins the first night we took it away and never again. Currently starting to use one with my 7 weeks old. Key is that they should fall asleep once they've spat it out. So, calm themselves with dummy not actually fall asleep with it wedged in mouth. As then when they wake nothing has changed and 'theoretically' they can settle themselves again without it. DD never woke in the night for it but its early days with DS so who knows. If it works for you now, do it, there's nothing you can't change later down the line once you've got some more sleep under your belt with a little perseverance. Anything to get yourself some sleep now is what I say!

Milsy · 07/01/2009 21:45

Kelix, you could try a Sleepytot Baby Comforter (www.sleepytot.com) for your DD - you can put the dummie son it and it really works. For a younger baby, it's a case of cold turkey or wait until they're old enough to get it themselves! Tough one when you're shattered I know. I stuck with it and my DS was able to get his on his Sleepytot from about 6 months.

Good luck. x

missorinoco · 07/01/2009 21:53

i used to try and pull ds's dummy out when i started using one (some time around 5 weeks old). he sucked in his sleep and his mouth would follow it. even if it fell out you could still see him sucking. i was really worried we would be getting up constantly overnight to replace it, but it didn't really happen, and he was never an amazing sleeper.

when he got to around 10 months he used to throw it out of the cot as a ploy to get one of us in again, so i tied a spare to a muslin and put it in the cot. i still do that. i'd recommend it, also useful fot things like car journeys. it's easier to find the muslin than the dummy.

MiniMarmite · 12/01/2009 20:28

DS has a dummy and is nearly 5 months. He has always (from day 2 as he was a very sucky baby following a ventouse delivery) fallen asleep with it and then it pops out by itself after he has fallen asleep. It doesn't seem to wake him up but if he wakes in the night I do put it back in his mouth to help him fall asleep again. I'm now thinking about weaning him off it but just seeing if I can do it gradually at the moment (more radical measures may follow if that doesn't work). He tends to be very sleepy after a feed so doesn't notice if he hasn't got it at any of the night time feeds so I'm now just using it for daytime naps (this is as of yesterday). He does sometimes have the dummy at other times (e.g. if he is getting tired and I need him to last a bit longer) but not as much as he did when he was tiny.

I have to be honest here, I am a bit worried about whether he is addicted and think the way using it is what is generally recommended. Having said that Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution has good advice about dummy weaning and I have found that good sleep for both DS and me have been more important than dummy issues so far.

Flip