Its 10 pm and my dd (7) yet again is still not asleep..

[Mercedes]

Am I sending my Dd to bed too early? She's 7 and goes up the stairs around 7.30. By the time we've done the undress/get washed routine and read a bit its usually 8.30 ish before you leave the room.

She regularly lies awake till 9.30 -10pm. Sunday night it was 10.40. My dp thinks we may be sending her to bed too early and harks back to his childhood when he was still up at 10pm and suggest she's got his night owl genes. But I think its not too much to expect her to go to sleep by 8.30. You should see and hear her in the morning when she cries about being tired.

Does anybody else have a night owl or a child who isn't going down?

My ds has just fallen asleep 30 mins ago. He's 8 and never will sleep before 10pm. I've found that letting him read a book to himself really helps him to drop off. Also putting a story tape on or some music sends him off...but not always. I think some kids just don't need as much rest as others
The only other thing I thought was maybe she's stressed about someething? Have you tried asking her if there's anything worrying her?

Just typed a long reply and Dd came along and erased it with one click of the mouse.

Is she tired during the day? Does she function ok at school? Does she sleep in at weekends? If she cries in the morning about being tired, that suggests she definitely needs more sleep, but then again if she 'wakes up' after a while and functions fine, then maybe it's not a problem. When we lived in France, a lot of the other children had late bedtimes - our next door neighbours would all eat together at 9pm every night, and their 8 year old seemed to be fine on it and would sleep till midday at the weekend.

I'm having trouble with my 7 year old at the moment, because he's keeping himself awake, generally till 9 or so, and then waking when he hears his sister get up at about 6.30, and just not functioning. School thought he was ill because he keeps saying he has headaches (he's not ill), then asked if he needed an eye test (had one last year, perfect vision) - he's just tired. And I can't get him to go to sleep any earlier. Weve got to the point where they're letting him off PE and giving him special dispensation in all sorts of ways -and all he needs is to sleep.

I have no idea what to do - I've bribed him with sticker chart type stuff to stay in bed and he tries but I always catch him sneaking around on the stairs, claiming he 'needed the loo'. Am at the end of my tether with him and I hate to see him stumbling through the day like he does. Then, come nighttime, he's got matchsticks holding his eyes open again.

So I can offer you some solidarity if not much practical help! Will be reading the thread with interest

hi girls. my DD (7) is in bed lights out by 7.30 but sometimes is still awake by 8.30 or 9 - by which time i start to panic - usually bcs of anxiety in her case/inability to stop worrying about some metaphysical conundrum
generally though she sleeps reasonably well. she is SO FOUL without sleep that i couldn't contemplate her staying up later! but agree some kids can do this no problem and of course, as missclavel says, in half of france and most of spain 9 or 10pm bedtimes are the norm!
i have two friends with kids who have always done this. one 8 yr old who just lies awake for HOURS unable to sleep but usually manages it by 10.30 or so. fairly mellow temperament (unlike my volatile DD!!) and seems to cope with her routine okay at school etc but often looks pale and exhausted to me, with dark circles under her eyes. always wakes early even at weekends. the other is 7 and his mum has given up, and just lets him play and/or listen to CDs until 10 or so. he seems entirely unaffected by his unconventional arrangement and definitely falls into the category of kids who just need less sleep.

we always get DD to read to herself if she is having trouble. the worst thing i can do (and i have done it often!!) is communicate MY anxiety over her sleeplessness to her. i am ashamed to look back at some of our exchanges, which arise bcs i KNOW what a sh*tty day we face the next day if she doesn't get her zzzz's!

Sorry after I posted last night I was knackered and went to bed.

it's amazing how easily my dd gets up on a sat and sunday to watch cartoons but can't on a week day. She seems to function ok at school although she is so pale and does have black circles under her eyes. This I must admit is something she gets from her dads family.

I did think about letting her read but I worry she's too young and it will encourage her to stay awake. Her dad suggested putting her to bed later but I just think NO.

I have the same issue with my eldest DD. She is just 9 and seems to have great trouble getting to sleep. She still wakes up early especially at the weekends when it is tv time! She was so tired last week she just cried for no reason at all. I had to send a note in to school on Monday morning to explain that she was being emotional because she was tired!!!
I dont have any suggestions because I cant think of anything myself to try, so I too will be watch with interest.

Ps. shouting go to sleep doesnt seem to work

I sympathise , am having this with dd age 5! She is size of 7/8 yr old though(very very tall)!
She just cannot/will not stay in bed and sleep before 10/11pm and is knackered in the mornings, have to drag her out of bed.She also has dark circles under her eyes.Have tried all sorts of bribes/punishments etc but does not work.
Just feel like such a failure when she is still up so late! I was like this myself though, a night owl, but prob not as early as 5 !

My DD is also tall for her age, always has been!
I remember reading in my bed with a torch when I was the same age so I cant really blame anyone other than myself I suppose.
Isnt it funny how our DDs are the same as us in the most unexpected ways!

She was such a good sleeper for years that I don't know how to cope.

We've has more wakened nights since she started schhol 2 years ago than in the proceeding 5 years and now she seems to have lost the knack of going to sleep.

At the moment we turn the lights out and leave her with the nite light and check on her very 30mins/45mins. Does anybody know if the leave her on her own will work and she'll relearn how to go to sleep?

I have exactly the same problem. DH is working away, and DS2, who is 7 has given up on sleep. DH has almost always put DS2 to bed, and he just will not settle for me. When DH was back for our summer holiday, and when we went to visit DH for a week at half term DS2 was down at 7.30 every night, so he can do it, he just chooses not to.

I now put DS2 to bed later, to cut down on the amount of time we spend arguing. We go up at 8ish, I read to him until 9pm, he messes around with various pretexts for 10 minutes or so and falls asleep about 9.30. He won't go to sleep on his own (unless it's a - very rare - babysitter), and if I don't stay with him until he falls asleep he's out like a jack-in-a-box and I end up screcching at him to go back to bed, which just hypes him up even more. I have tried several different things, but have now decided to accept that, for the next few months, this is just how it is going to be. But I do sometimes get fed up that I don't have much of an evening or time to myself. I've stopped inviting friends round in the evening as he just plays up so badly.

One thing that I have resorted to a couple of times and has worked is to put the (digital) clock in his bedroom forward by an hour while he's in the bath, so that he thinks it's later that it really is and goes to sleep a bit sooner. The drawback is that I thn need to stay awake long enough to remember to turn it back .

I'd just be happy to have a child who stayed in bed at night! Sleep would be a bonus !