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Original poster

please please tell me what else to try!

21 replies

kirsty1980 · 18/11/2008 14:25

My 9 month old hasn't slept through since birth. I am back at work and also separated so I'm finding it increasingly hard to cope. She wakes on average 5 times a night. I have tried the following without success:

  • black out blinds
  • adjusting heating
  • sleeping bags (kept kicking covers off)
  • dummies (with and without)
  • no cry sleep solution and baby whisperer
  • not giving a bottle (doesnt want it anymore anyway)
  • co sleeping
  • musical thingies such as a glow worm.
  • baby massage
  • controlled crying (never again!)
  • calpol, bonjela etc for teething

I think that's everything! If there's anything I haven't tried, please do tell me as it's really upsetting me

OP posts:
CaptainKarvol · 18/11/2008 14:33

That sounds like a coprehensive list to me.

How long does she wake for? Does she find it easy to go back to sleep? What do you do when she wakes?

CaptainKarvol · 18/11/2008 14:33

com*prehensive. My typing...

Majeika · 18/11/2008 14:36

She is waking for attention.

If you give her attention she will keep waking.

If she is fed and clean then there is no reason for her to wake up and I would ignore her tbh (but then I am DEAD 'ARD!!)

Dont give her another bottle in the night. Offer water if she is desperate and DONT SPEAK TO HER or give her eye contact.

Tis tough but I did this with both boys (4 and 7) and they slept through from very young.

ches · 18/11/2008 15:18

Wow majeika, you must have had superhuman 9 month olds who could manipulate like that and force themselves to wake up! Amazing. If only you could bottle it you would overpower the alarm clock market.

thisisyesterday · 18/11/2008 15:23

lol ches, I concur.

kirsty, it is tough isn't it? at 9 months ds2 was still waking between 4 and 8 times a night. horrible.

we have had some success with NCSS, and would urge you to give it another go. I found it's quite easy to just kind of not quite stick with it as much as I should. but when I did it properly I did see results.
maybe give it another go?

ches · 18/11/2008 16:33

I'm in less of a hurry now.

Kirsty, the first thing to recognise is that some, if not most, babies don't sleep through the night for the first year, and others not for a very, very long time. It's not your fault, your failing as a parent, anything you did wrong, anything you failed to do. When you accept that that is your baby and there's little you can do about it, the frustration and guilt go and you are able to be more rested on the sleep you get. It's easier in that frame of mind to find ways to cope and ways to help your baby sleep better.

It gets much easier once they're over 1 and they start processing sequences, following instructions and communicating (pointing, using words) and they understand way more too. (Then their molars start coming through and it's like having a newborn again!)

Majeika · 18/11/2008 16:35
Hmm
thisisyesterday · 18/11/2008 17:40

I just wanted to add:

"
If she is fed and clean then there is no reason for her to wake up"

actually, there is. some babies CAN'T get back to sleep when they awake during the lighter part of their sleep cycle. they need the comfort that comes from being held, rocked, just being close to their parent/s

I am astounded at how many people I still see saying "well, she's just waking for comfort2, as if that is, in some way, less a need than their need for food and nutrition.

My job is to comfort my child. to keep him happy and secure.
not to ignore his cries because he "only" needs comforting

kerala · 18/11/2008 17:50

You have my sympathies. In our experience dd turned the corner around 10 months (nothing we did she just seemed to get going to bed) I hope this happens to you.

FWIW I couldnt leave her crying I tried it one night and ended up with us both in tears.

abraid · 18/11/2008 18:13

If the OP is back at work, she needs her sleep for the sake of her health and sanity.

Perhaps try the NCSS again?

pudding25 · 18/11/2008 19:18

When you tried NCSS and Baby Whisperer, how long did you do it for? From everything I have read (and I have every baby book there is ), you need to be really consistent for a good period of time before you see results.

RubySlippers · 18/11/2008 19:28

9 months is classic seperation anxiety time so sleep can be disturbed and then settle back down

i think babies need to go to bed earlier than you think (sometimes) and a cuddle and a drink is sometimes all that is needed

NCSS is very good and gentle

lindseyfox · 19/11/2008 16:58

perhaps if you can afford to have a night nanny for a night or 2 a week to enable you to get some sleep.

also a night nanny would be more able to let your baby cry for a little longer than you could as its hard hearing your own child cry.

ensure getting enough food and milk during the day. give hungrier baby milk as the last feed before bed also may help.

Tillyscoutsmum · 19/11/2008 17:02

No advice - just sympathy. We tried everything with dd and she suddenly started sleeping through about a week after her first birthday. I agree that some babies are just not great at sleeping - its nothing you are or aren't doing ....

Original poster
kirsty1980 · 20/11/2008 06:19

hi, she watches night garden, then a bath, then usually bed between 7 and 8.

Tried NCSS etc for a few weeks.

I wouldn't ever ignore her. I think it's cruel, but I do keep things as boring as possible when she does wake.

can't afford a night nanny

OP posts:
turtle23 · 20/11/2008 06:28

Does she wake at the same times every night? Some babies get into a pattern of waking and if you wake them before this it will break the pattern. Works for some. Big sympathy.

HeadFairy · 20/11/2008 06:30

You've tried lots of things, but how long have you tried each thing ie pupd and ncss? Have you given your dd enough time to learn how to get herself back to sleep?

AvonBarksdale · 20/11/2008 07:46

I've posted this on other threads, but have you tried putting her to bed much earlier? I have had great results since I started putting my 8mo dd to bed 2 hours earlier than usual. Yesterday she went to bed at 5.45pm and slept til 6, in our house this is utterly astonishing - I never now put her to bed after 6.30pm. she is usually down by 6 at the very latest. Perhaps she is too tired and wired hence the multiple wakings?

Tillyscoutsmum · 20/11/2008 08:55

Over tiredness can play a big part on multiple night wakings. Does she sleep enough in the day ? An earlier bedtime might be a good place to start for a while - see if it helps. Even now if dd goes to bed the wrong side of 7.30 pm, we notice a big difference

Original poster
kirsty1980 · 20/11/2008 09:31

We have tried waiting to see if she goes back to sleep but she ends up crying for us. She used to go to bed at 9pm, now it's around 7.30pm. I am very strict with her bedtime routine, I try to keep it to the same times.

When she stays with my mother, she sleeps ALL night. My mother doesn't do anything different from me (I even stayed over at hers too to observe - mum stuck to the same times, routine etc...)

I'm thinking maybe it's the cot or the house? Last night she only woke once and the heating was switched off (we usually have it on a timer). It might be the mattress as ours is a MC one and my mother's is an Ikea one!

I dunno!

OP posts:
abraid · 20/11/2008 17:12

If you've got the heating on she may be too hot.

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