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Original poster

6 year old who still wakes up up to three times a night! ;(

19 replies

Mumlikeu · 13/11/2008 18:39

My 6 year old son still wakes up each night up to three times a night. It is extremely tiring and i dont know how much longer i can cope with it. It is affecting us both tremedously and as he gets older i can see what it is doing to him. He doesnt have a huge appetite. He gets tired early and suffers for it because we cant do much activites as he always looks so tired.

He tries to get into my bed but i dont say and word and use the super nanny technique and take him back to bed. He will fall asleep on a good night and awken again only for me to follow the smae procedure.

On a bad night however he will cry aloud and refuse to sleep sometimes till 6 in the morning. This not only affects me but him also. He looks tired all the time which really makes me sad and angry. I want for him to get sleep and even though i know the effects its having on me i can only imagine what it is doing to him. He goes to bed each night at 8. He gets up around 2am. 4am etc.

Advice Please
ps we have an appt with sleep pyshcologist in jan

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumlikeu · 13/11/2008 18:40

excuse the spelling errors. Im tired. lol

OP posts:
piratecat · 13/11/2008 18:43

after reading your thread about concentration, it's not hard to see how one must affect the other. Must be absolutely knackering for you.

RubyRioja · 13/11/2008 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Mumlikeu · 13/11/2008 18:50

I have tried everything. And YES he sleeps through if he sleeps with anyone. He has sleep overs and only once has he woken yo when he had a frined in his room. The rrom is warm, not too hot or cold. He tries the loo trick.

He goes swimming, football and dance incl kids club in the week. So plenty to keep him active and tired out. Infact you can see he is tired. They do pe at school, he runs around a lot and generally an active child. I have never heard of the 'bad dreams'. He just says i dont like the shadows in my room.

I have tried every lighting possible. I have tried lavender oils. I give him a bath with lavender oils, burn lavender scented candles. We have the same nightly routine. He sleeps fine when i tuck him in...BUT will w/o a doubt get up once or twice in that night.

OP posts:
CarGirl · 13/11/2008 18:56

My dd was horrendous and has been treated by a cranial osteopath which made a huge difference he then recommended a neuro developmental therapist, it's to do with the development of reflexes being delayed. Anyhow she had an overproduction of adrenalin. We had exercises to do with her and she changed very quickly. I was very cynical at first though!!!!

She was 4 when we went to the osteopath and she regularly got up 3-5 times per night and was just awake & lonely!

www.neurodevelopmentaltherapy.ie/subpage.html

lots of info on that link to see if neuro stuff could help.

RubyRioja · 13/11/2008 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

3littlefrogs · 13/11/2008 19:01

What shadows does he mean? Are there any shadows? Would a night light help? Is the atmosphere in the room comfortable? does he give any other reason for waking up, or is always the shadows?

Could there be a simple explanation that could be fixed?

Is there something like a noise - heating/plumbing/draught etc that is disturbing him, but you are not aware of?

3littlefrogs · 13/11/2008 19:01

Have to go out now, but will look in later.

Buda · 13/11/2008 19:05

We had this.

Solved by DH moving to spare room and DS sleeping with me. Not good I know. But it works for us. We were all shattered otherwise.

DS slept well in his own room till he was 3 and we moved house/country. Started coming into our bed. Sometimes we would just wake to find him asleep at the end of our bed!

Some times he and I would go into spare room to let DH sleep.

Moved house again.

Fine initially then it all started again.

So we co-sleep.

I know it won't be forever so I don't stress about it. He is now embarrassed by it so I am sure he will move before he starts to bring girls home!

DS is afraid of the dark (even with a light!) and doesn't like being on his own.

Original poster
Mumlikeu · 13/11/2008 19:09

Its not always shadows he talks about. And by shadows he is referring to his teddies etc. There is a night light. The room is comfy. He sleeps with his fav toy each night. But when i go to check up on him his body is awkward, like he is not in deep sleep. Falling off the bed has become a new routine. Im sad for him. I dont know whats going on. And as much as i want to make things better i refuse to allow him in my bed. I dont think that would help things in the long haul. I got desperately tired last year and resorted to moving into his room. He loved that but he is a bad sleeper and in the mrning im left with aches and pains. Ive even tried a chart with points for the nights he does sleep through. So far this year three times. lol I laugh otherwise i'd cry.
I think he has developmental problems if im honest. He doesnt like to play in his room by himself. But with a friend yo wont see him for dust. He likes to be within my visual proximity. I am sometimes overwhelmed and think gosh he loves me so much but its all toooooo much. In fact that is some of what he says when he gets up. To tell me he loves me.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumlikeu · 13/11/2008 19:09

Its not always shadows he talks about. And by shadows he is referring to his teddies etc. There is a night light. The room is comfy. He sleeps with his fav toy each night. But when i go to check up on him his body is awkward, like he is not in deep sleep. Falling off the bed has become a new routine. Im sad for him. I dont know whats going on. And as much as i want to make things better i refuse to allow him in my bed. I dont think that would help things in the long haul. I got desperately tired last year and resorted to moving into his room. He loved that but he is a bad sleeper and in the mrning im left with aches and pains. Ive even tried a chart with points for the nights he does sleep through. So far this year three times. lol I laugh otherwise i'd cry.
I think he has developmental problems if im honest. He doesnt like to play in his room by himself. But with a friend yo wont see him for dust. He likes to be within my visual proximity. I am sometimes overwhelmed and think gosh he loves me so much but its all toooooo much. In fact that is some of what he says when he gets up. To tell me he loves me.

OP posts:
piratecat · 13/11/2008 19:15

Am not wishing to pry, but has he gone through any upheaval within the family? My dh left when dd was 3 and she was a bad sleeper then. After that things got worse. Icaved in at about age 4 and let her sleep with me for a quiet life. This has been on and off for 2 yrs. She gets sleep and comfort with me, and to my mind she needs it when she needs it. The friend i told you about on your other thread, with the little boy, found he gained alot of security and comfort by sleeping with her.

I was hell bent on dd never co sleeping, but when i let her, things really helped, and she ws in with me for most of last year. When she got more confident, and things started to improve emotionally she started to want to go back to her own bed.

piratecat · 13/11/2008 19:17

tbh, i'd bring him in, if it meant some peace. it won't be bad in the long run, it will help now. i dunno, i may be wrong but it's brought me and dd closer. Plus we get some sleep.

Original poster
Mumlikeu · 13/11/2008 19:29

What your saying is what my mum suggested. But i dont think that would help. I did it for almost a year last yr and that didnt work. He just got too comfortable and the problem was never sorted out.

For a quiet life i would let him sleep with me. But i want to get to the bottom of things. He is a boy, 6 and he needs to learn to sleep by himself.

BTW there have been a lot of issues in the family. And i have an idea of what the problems are.

OP posts:
Buda · 13/11/2008 20:02

FWIW - as I said my DS is now 7 and he doesn't like to be by himself. Will very rarely go upstairs to play in his room by himself. Some kids are just like that - the either like company or feel lonely and scared by themselves.

piratecat · 13/11/2008 21:44

the issues in my family with dd's dad had run our lives the past 3 yrs and dd has struggled alot.

Lilyloo · 13/11/2008 21:52

mummylikeu much sympathy. My ds 6 has always been a poor sleeper. He started sleeping through at 3+.
He has to have his bedside lamp on all night. He also goes through rigmarole of us taking any books /teddys etc. that may scare him in the night. Incidentally he likes to sleep with socks on!
We let him watch a portable dvd player as he is avery early waker in the am and that seems to be working for us.
However sad for ds when he has to be in bed for 7 with exhaustion when his friends can stay up later!
DS also has a teddy that you microwave to keep warm have you tried one of those ?

Lilyloo · 13/11/2008 21:53

Also he will never play upstairs by himself ever , if a friend comes round i don't see him!!

3littlefrogs · 14/11/2008 10:44

When we moved house it took a long time for the dss to feel secure and comfortable in their rooms. We let them come in with us whenever they needed to. We also had a system where they could come and sleep on a folded duvet on our floor if they felt lonely, on the understanding that they didn't wake us unless they really needed to.

I just accepted that children often feel frightened/anxious/ lonely at night, and I think it is perfectly normal to want to be with mum.

My 10 year old dd still occasionally comes in with me if she has a nightmare or feels unwell. DH just goes and gets into her bed for the rest of the night. We don't see it as a big problem - just part of family life.

Dss are big teenagers now, and wouldn't dream of getting into bed with me

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