can any routiney type people help me with 23 week old naps please?

[flourybaps]

Hi, Im going back to work in jan and nervous about it. My mum will be looking after dd. I'm being pfb about it but my dd is grumpy if she dosent have her naps, at the moment she has about 2 hours awake then has a nap for anywhere between 30 mins to 2 hours this can result in her having up to 4 naps per day and yes sometimes its difficult to get out of the house and boring blah blah but I dont really mind as at least she is getting the sleep that she needs.

My problem is my mum just dosent agree about the whole sleep thing, she thinks I'm mad and dd dosent need that much sleep.

I'd like to get my dd on more of a routine, so I can say to mum, she sleeps at say 9,1 and 4 trouble is I dont know how to do this, shall I just keep dd awake and put her down atthese times each day and hope she gets into the habit of sleeping then? Does anyone do this?

I just know if I dont get her into more of a routine my mum will be out and about with dd all day (she dosent sleep well on the go) and dd will be knacered by the time I get her back. O god its so bloody stresfull......

I'm a cm'er and all the children usually fall into a pattern when they're with me usually 6mth old i've got will nod off on the school run so 9am and wakes about 9.45 then when we get back from toddler group i give him a bottle then he'll sleep again 12.15ish to 1.30-2ish then again about 4.45 til 5.15 giving me time to sort dinner for the older 4 then when he wakes i give him his dinner before mum comes so hes ready fore bath and feed and bed hth x

Hi thanks Lovemygirls, I dont know how its going to go with mum, she dosent take to kindly being told what to do, I just think perhaps if Im not to wishy washy and there are set times for naps she will be more likely to stick to it.

O why did i think that mum looking after dd would work out, Im dreading it already. DD will be 7 months old by the time I go back to work so I feel I have got less than 2 months to get her on a schedule........

I take it money is an issue which is why oyu want your mum to look after her? Personally, if money was not an issue, I would get a cm. If you need your mum to look after her, I would seriously put my foot down and explain that you are doing this for the benefit of your dd etc etc and that she will be a nightmare if she does not sleep etc etc.

In the meantime, I would make sure you are getting up and going to bed at the same time each day. Aim for 7-7.

Aim for putting her down for a nap around 9am for 30-45 mins. Moving this onto 9.30-10am when she is a bit bigger and can stay up for a bit longer in the morning. (dd is now 6mths. Wakes around 7am and in the last couple of weeks has managed to go to bed at 9.30am instead of a bit earlier).

Next nap, aim for around 12pm. Moving forward to 12.30pm. What would be great is a ne 2 hr nap then. We are still trying for that. Let's say your dd manages 45 mins then. Once she wakes up around 1pm, put her down again around 2/2.15pm (this can be out in the car/pram on the way out somewhere). Let her sleep for another 30 mins.

Around 4.30pm, another 30 mins nap.

Once she starts doing 2hrs at lunch, she will be able to cut back on her afternoon nap.

I hope that makes some sort of sense. It works really well for us. DD is gradually extending her lunch nap so I am just giving her a shorter afternoon nap.

If your mum wants to go out, she can drive, push in pram whereever she is going during nap times.

However, I would be really annoyed if my routines were not kept to. She is your child. My mil will be looking after dd one day when I go back to work in April (nursery 2 other days). We did get a lot of 'why is she sleeping so much etc etc ' crap from her but I think once she saw how happy dd was/is and how well she sleeps, she's beginning to come round to our way of thinking.

Good luck.

Thanks so much pudding thats really helpful. Think I'll work on one nap at time at the mo, maybe try and put her down at 9am for first nap and see where we go from there.

I know what you mean about paid childcare, we looked into it and could afford it its just that mum offered and i thought it would be nice for both my mum and my dd to spend the time together, now were in this really bloody akward situation and im quickly regretting ever agreeing to it.

Mum thinks im ott I suppose but our thoughts (me and my dp) are that its working and she is content. We realised there may be problems after mum had her overnight and we picked her up the next day at 3, she had not had any naps and she basically cried for 3 bloody hours and she was difficult to settle to bed, she is usually very easy. When I tried to broach the subject with mum it all got a bit tense and i just cant be doing with falling out with her. (wimp emoticon).

I know I have to let go to a certain extent when i go back to work but Im only just realising just how difficult it may be.

Anyway thanks for the tips and I'll have to try and work on setting nap times.