Gina Ford routine - does it work?

[veronika17Oct]

Has anyone tried Gina Ford routines (Contented Little Baby Book) on a very small baby and did it work? Mine is almost 4 weeks, am I starting too early?

Yes Starlight, I realised that after I posted!

Yes ok the thread has been reactivated from the dead (and perhaps by a troll, who knows). But just wanted to add a small small point. Or actually to ask a question:

GreenMonkies, what on earth does the fact that Gina Ford has never had a baby have to do with anything at all? Having a baby does NOT equal knowing a lot about children, it's nothing like your example of medical school & medicine. Gina Ford has worked with many many MANY children and families over the years. That definitely counts for something in my books (regardless of whether one agrees or disagrees with her ideas). I really dislike the idea that a person suddenly acquires all sorts of knowledge about children just through becoming a mother. I'm sure we all agree that there are mothers out there to whom mothering really doesn't come naturally. More generally, not just about parenting, I disagree with the idea of 'inside knowledge' (i.e. through having the actual experience) as the only way to be able to discuss intelligently on a subject.

Just wanted to add. Its also quite a mean comment to say 'ok she's never had a child, so lets just ignore all that she says'. Would you say the same if she happened to write about things you agreed with?

I didn't have a clue about babies when I had DS1 (so was no expert just by being a mother) and I fed him everytime he cried - as a result he was very cranky baby who probably had terrible indigestion, until I realised that babies cry for other reasons besides hunger... including a desperate need to sleep.

I now realise that you should follow your babies own routine not anyone else's in a book, as soon as you can understand your babies own signals and cues for food and sleep. Then you'll have a happy baby.

GF's ideas obviously work for some people - never tried them myself - can't imagine imposing a routine on a small baby.

Don't want to get in to a GF discussion but would like to mention that we feel incredibly guilty 6 yrs on after imposing the GF routine on ds1 and now live with the effects of it - over-anxious about being left alone, about bedtimes, etc etc etc because imo we tried to impose a routine and structure on him which goes against what is natural for babies. Wish I'd never heard of it and that I'd followed my instinct not a book

Maria, I know, having been a Nanny for many years and a parent for the last 6, that how you feel about babies/children changes once you've had your own. I don't believe that the act of giving birth magically bestows you with expert knowledge, it doesn't. But I do know that it is actually relatively easy to impose a strict routine on a small baby if you're not emotionally/instinctively involved with them than it is if they are your baby and your hormones and instincts react on a deeper level.

For this reason the childless status of guru's like GF and Claire Verity makes them less sensitive to the cries and complaints of babies than someone like Elizabeth Pantly or The Sears's, who have several children and speak with the knowledge that comes from training and experience.

Wellies, I have seen this in toddlers and pre-schoolers, if you observe a group of young children for a while you can actually tell which ones have been "GF'd" and which ones have been nurtured/AP'd. But please don't beat yourself up over it now, just give DS1 as much love and reassurance as you can and he'll be ok, and take comfort from the fact that you did what we are all told to do, and as such what you thought was the right thing.

greenmonkies - thanks for your message . You are right and it's what dh and I try telling ourselves too. I'm completely following my instincts with ds2, letting him set the pace, cuddling/feeding/etc him whenever he wants and he is the most 'contented baby' I've ever seen

GreenMonkies I'm intrigued to know how this difference in young children manifests itself? How do the GF'd children behave compared to the others?

Yes I'd like to second BecyBendyLegs' question.

We only used GF for a fortnight and I still get anxious about any lasting effects now.

I console myself that many previous generations had far worse approaches to attachment, e.g. nurseries in postnatal wards, received wisdom about crying it out, etc.

for you those who are worried about GF routines' negative effect on your babies, please dont be.

both my DS are GF babies and they are well. my DS1 is 5 and is in yr 1, he is sociable, friendly, confident, intelligent. my DS2 is 11 months old, he slept through the night since he was 12 weeks old. he is in 95th centile in both height and weight. took him to GP checkup and he is doing well. our routines are now part of our lives and it gives my DH and I time so that our marriage do not take a backseat all of the time because kids wont sleep!

i did not follow the routines to the letter, but i did follow the feeding and sleeping ones.

GreenMonkies, I'm sorry but that is an outrageous post!! On so many levels too (and meant in such a nice way, which makes it even more problematic IMO).

First of all the idea that there is a clear distinction between babies who have been GFed (!!!) & those who in your words have been nurtured / APed. I note & underline the word nurtured, implying of course that those who use Gina Ford (either some of it or all of it, you don't make a distinction) do not nurture their children.

Second, there is another assumption here: that AP parents all necessarily 'nurture' their children. That AP equals 'nurturing'.

Third, the idea that you can observe toddlers & young children & can tell the difference (!).

So, really, please do tell us. What difference do you see? And what about those who have semi-APed their children & semi-GFed them? Are those children in between in your crudest of crude categorization?

I'm sorry, but the idea that a particular style of parenting makes for a better or less good parent is simply too simplistic for words. There are all sorts of reasons people parent in the ways they do, & reading a particular book or following a particular style tells us very very little of the whole story. What you're seeing in the toddlers you're observing, is I'm sorry to say, very much your own prejudices & ways of seeing things & has little to do with the phenomena you're observing.

By the way, I hate the idea of someone observing my toddler & categorizing him as GFed or APed. I just find it too weird for words. For your information, my particular toddler is exactly the in between situation which would not fit easily into your schema. As I imagine most kids are, to be honest. Very few parents just follow ONE way of parenting, most pick & choose ideas from here & there.

Just to humour you:

-We co-slept for months & months (AP)
-we did brief sleep training at 9 months (GF)
-we don't leave him to cry at all now that he's a toddler (AP)
-both parents don't work full time so we spend loads of time with him (AP I suppose although I suppose these categorizations are ridiculous)
-DS breastfed for 8 months (AP? oh I'm loving this)
-DS has a strict Gina Ford routine (GF) but we break it when / as we want to, e.g. when we go on outings etc (AP but actually GF believes this too).

So could you tell if my toddler has been GFed or APed if you were to look at him & talk to him?
And could I suggest that perhaps the vast, vast majority of babies / toddlers are like mine? i.e. somewhere in between?

i totally agree with everything Maria said.

both my boys are GF BUT i breastfeed them until they were weaned, i choose the tips in her book that suited us. and yes, when we travel, routine out the window!

Just read Wellies message.

green are you sure? all this based on wellies child? what about my DS who is 5 and does NOT show any of the problems wellies is talking about?

GreenMonkies Very interested in your post, what do you think are the main points of GF routine that causes problems ?

Wellies I am so sorry to read of your experience, as someone who uses GF routines I am concerned that I might end up with the same problems that you have. At what age did you notice that the routine was not suiting your son, are there any particular signs that I should be looking for ?

greenmonkies, you think wellies' post proves something? With all respect, wellies, your child may be overanxious for a variety of reasons. It also depends on how you worked on the routine. Too many people think routines=leaving babies to cry. Speaking from my own experience (& we only started working on a routine at 5 months) this process never involved crying, not at all. In fact, our DS seemed to love the structure & having the routine just means, now that he's a toddler, that he has relatively set mealtimes, a set naptime (more or less) & a set bedime routine: bath-milk-bed. Not rocket science, nothing cruel about it. If he cries, we go in & check what's the matter. End of story.

We only did sleep training once, at almost 9 months, which involved taking away his dummy to which he was dependent & which woke him up because it fell out every hour or so for months & months. The sleep training, although not pleasant, was not too bad at all, lasted 3 days or so & actually didn't involve that much crying. But we were going under by then due to endless months of sleeplessness so it wasn't as if we had another choice.

And before anyone mentions it. We were already co-sleeping. Didn't help.

So there you go greenmonkies. I guess by your standards my DS has been GFed?

Don't want to get into a GF argument and suspect many posters are running away from this thread but just wanted to say that, in my (v humble and tentative) opinion there's a lot of difference between nudging a 5 month old into a GF routine and imposing one on a newborn. I gather (mainly as a result of reading Weissbluth & my own limited experience) that biorhythms begin to develop at around 5-9 months along the lines of the GF routines, i.e. many babies start to establish 2 regular naps at around the times she suggest at this age. Similarly, many babies develop a 7 pm bedtime at about 4 months.

I think the problems come more when you are trying to force a newborn into a pattern that they are not biologically mature enough for. That's not to say that all GF mums have forced their babies - I think some babies do fall into the patterns without horrible screaming and upset all round. But many don't.

Greenmonkies - wd be v interesting if you came back and elaborated!

OLD THREAD (possibly restrated by trollery)

oops! only read the last page [thumps forehead].

still, always an interesting debate this one. Even if we have to tread carefully since the you-know-what-happened....

I think it is interesting too and even if this is an old thread, it's still very topical - best to try to be objective though and not get too emotional about a certain book! It's just a theory and some people swear by it, others don't and that is their choice. I know that I couldn't impose those routines on my children.

Routines work for some, not for others. My personal opinion is that babies love routine BUT they have their own routine which the parents need to observe and follow. My DS1 was all over the shop and had no routine at all (as I was pretty clueless about babies then) until he was a few months old. Now? He is very sensative, he struggled at preschool with socialising and had to have 1:1 care, he HATED any change to the preschool routine and would scream if they had a school trip or changed the snack routine to the extent I had to come and fetch him. So what made him so sensative to change and disorder?It wasn't being a GF baby as he wasn't at all. Was it the fact his first few months were so disordered and chaotic and he was so unhappy as a baby? Or was it just his personality irrespective of my parenting skills (or lack of?). DS2 I'd learnt a bit more by then and watched him and noted his natural cycles of sleep and food. He put himself into a routine at just a few weeks old and I followed it. Now? He is the most easy going child I know. Does this mean anything at all? He's Mr Chilled Out boy. Now I have a DS3 - trying to do the same as with DS2. So far so good. He's got his own little routine too at just 4 weeks. I'm following it (although have to bend him a bit around school runs - which is surprisingly easy). We'll see. But every baby is different and every parent is different. Some people need routine in their lives. Others don't. Same goes for babies I guess.

I'm sorry Morningpaper, but so what if it's an old thread?! We can still discuss if the subject interests enough people. Especially when outrageous comments are made i.e. that GFed & APed toddlers can be spotted / identified. Personally I take huge offence in that sort of comment. It's not just nonsense, it's also offensive.

I highly recommend the Gina Ford Contented Baby routine! I (and my sisters) used Gina Ford “Contented Little Baby Routine”. Both my kids slept through at 3 months. Highly recommended!
Read the book before judging the routine. Everything she says makes sense. My kids LOVE the routine and I am able to adapt it from time to time to fit my needs.

ZOMBIE THREAD

POSTED 9 YEARS AGO

linnyKravitz - that's your only post, ever, on mumsnet. You registered a usename just to exalt the virtues of GF?

It's almost like marketing spam

Not spam, I promise. I just see a lot of negative Gina Ford stuff, and wanted to put the good word out there. I have passed my book around to a number of friends who have all thanked me for telling them, just as I thanked my sister for telling me. Not saying it's the only routine that works, just that I am thankful every day for having heard of it. Just sharing the love/paying it forward. Routine is hard in the beginning, but so rewarding. Just saying