14 wks and waking every 45 mins HELP!

[Wigglesworth]

During the day my DS doesn't nap for any longer than 45mins, after which time he wakes up screaming. If I pick him and bring him downstairs he is tired and really grumpy again after about 10 mins and needs to nap again. I am trying the leave him to cry and check on him and reassure him every 5-10 mins approach. He doesn't settle in his pram either, same problem. I can't take him anywhere cos he is so bloody grumpy and screamy all the time through tiredness people look at me like I am abusing him. Anybody else have any experience of this and how did they solve it? I have ordered the baby whisperer book out of desperation, is is any good?

Not really Uhmmm is his rook dark enough? Is he using a dummy? I found my DD only started to go past 45 minutes when I weaned her off the dummy and darkened the windows... Sorry if that's no help.

This is very very common at this age, it's due to their immature sleep cycles. It can sometimes help to go in just before they are due to wake up and shhh/pat/rock them (whatever got them to sleep in the first place), occasionally they will stir then go back to sleep.

But mainly it's a case of waiting it out -- my DS used to have 5 naps a day of 30-45 mins until he was about 5/6 months, then he suddenly started going for longer.

He does have a dummy and I am starting to suspect this is the problem. He settles down again if I pop his dummy back in and wedge it in with a cloth comforter ( I know its bad). He rubs his face and knocks it out and starts whinging again. How do you wean them off their dummy?

Meg, how did he start going for longer? Did he just do it or did you use sleep training? Can you tell I am desperate? He does sleep well at night and I know you are going to tell me that as long as he sleeps at night then its ok. I just can't go out anywhere to see friends or shopping or take him to visit people cos of this, its starting to get me down a little.

Please tell me it gets better. It just seems at the moment that once you get past one difficult stage in their lives along comes another more difficult one. I so wasn't prepared for how hard it was going to be, no-one tells you the truth!

My DS did exactly the same thing, you could set your clock by him, except it was 30 minutes for his sleep cycle. Gradually he started going longer and I was bf so I would just go in when he woke up after 30 mins and bf him back off and he would eventually sleep longer and would wake happy instead of yelling his head off. He's never been a fantastic napper but now he does a 2 hour straight sleep at lunchtime (he's 18mo though...).

I didn't have a magic solution and I want through all the desperation also. It just seemed like he matured over age and it gradually got better. I read the baby whisperer and hated it (you may like it though!). I got the No Cry Sleep Solution and that was much better for me.

It does get better! But I suspect it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with DD (4 mo) being ready. Now if she wakes up after 35 min a quick BF can do the trick -- yesterday she went down again for two hours.

I am not BF unfortunately,I don't think he's hungry though. Do you think getting him to self settle will help?

Dunno. My DD has finally learned to self-settle but still often wakes up after 35 min during her naps. Don't know why! But I think getting rid of the dummy might help, though I have no practical advice as my DD wouldn't take one. Once she started sucking her thumb (or any combination of fingers) things got better.

I think it was less the milk with the bf back to sleep than the comfort he was getting from it - could you cuddle him back off after the 45 mins?

I found that I just had to adapt around my DS more, he couldn't sleep easily if there was lots of stimulation so sleeping in his buggy was not going to happen - I still look enviously at people with babies blissfully asleep in their buggies whilst they are mooching round the shops! I ended up making sure he was in his bedroom at naptime (or my bedroom - I would have a snooze at the same time or read a magazine) and making sure it was a very relaxing time for him. It meant I had to plan more around his nap times, but he did seem happier overall so it was worth it.

Could you try a sling for taking him out? Even if he was tired, my DS would be happy if I was carrying him so it buys you a bit more time if you have to be out and about. I had a backpack/front carrier but have recently invested in a sling even though he's a whopper now - wish I had a sling when he was much smaller though!!

I too am sooo jealous of those mums with sleeping babies in buggies . He just seems to need to nap a lot (eye rubbing etc and generally grumpiness) and once I have fed him and played with him for 20 mins he's tired and wants a nap only to wake again a few mins later. It's like a vicious cycle and I am knackered, still at least running up and downstairs constantly will help me shed a few pounds

The No Cry Sleep Solution suggests that as soon as you see the tiredness signs - eye rubbing and grumpiness you should get them down to sleep asap, waiting 20 mins later may make them overtired and more likely to be unsettled.

I found that once you start watching for the tired signs you can also plan better around it. If you know they get tired 2 hours after waking up, then do the feed before they get tired then at the first sign of an eye rub etc, get them into a relaxing place and down for a sleep.

Some babies just fight sleep though don't they!!

Thanks preggers, I do try to watch for the signs and as soon as he looks tired I take him up to his darkened nursery and cuddle him with his dummy in. Sometimes he settles really well, other times he fights it. He can self settle generally at first but after the first 45 mins he wakes up and can't settle himself back to sleep. I guess its just a time and patience thing, poor little man he's such a babe though when he is awake and not tired, very giggly .

No advice but I'm pretty sure the baby whisperer book will help. You could also try the Elizabeth Pantley, No Cry Sleep Solution (she suggests waiting outside the door until just before the 45 mins and then going in and starting settling before the baby wakes up). I have a 10 week old and as he becomes more aware sleep is becoming difficult for us too. He sleeps in his sling but as preggers says hard work as they get bigger (but it is helping with my baby bulge)!