anyone successfully get their 2 yr old to fall asleep alone? please tell how!

[nzbabies]

Hi, at present am lying on my bed next to my nearly 2-yr-old ds in his cot, until he falls asleep. This can take an hour, or more or less. I wouldn't mind doing it if he just went to sleep but he keeps saying mummy mummy mummy and asking me to do various things like kiss a hurt better or move him down the cot, and crying and getting upset. It is incredibly frustrating after an hour, and I lie there trying not to respond too much and just say "shh", but last time I just lost it and shouted at him! This is not good for him or me and I felt terrible. Plus I am pregnant. So! Any positive experiences welcome! I tried controlled crying when he was 18 months and he got so upset I couldn't carry on. I have heard that you could say "mummy's just going for a wee and I'll be back soon" - would that work like a kinder way of controlled crying? I feel too over it now to do something that is going to take months like gradual withdrawal - unless you think it can take much less? Thanks v much for any advice!

nzbabies my DS was like this too. I tried CC and he made his nose bleed he cried so much but when the hour on the bed stretched to two and it was getting on for 9pm before I had anything to eat/any time with DH I decided enough was ENOUGH!

I tried CC again when he was about 2 iirc and it took 3 nights - by the third, I took him to bed, tucked him in, story, kiss etc and left him and we have NEVER looked back. I really couldn't believe htge difference.

I know a lot of folk are anti CC - I was until it worked - but I tried everything else.

I would lie there saying "shh" too through gritted teeth.

I'd advise you try again

Just before dd2 turned 2 we successfully tackled this problem! Until then we had to sit by her bed for an hour or more until she fell asleep it also meant if she woke in the night she needed us to settle her back to sleep as she couldn't do it alone. This resulted in 2 years of sleep deprivation for me and my husband. We also tried controlled crying to no avail and we also tried gradual withdrawal where we would move gradually away from the bed over a number of nights until we were by the door but this never worked either although it had worked successfully with DD1 at 6 months.

In the end we decided we had to do something and at 2 she was old enough to understand what we were saying to her so we introduced a very regimented bedtime routine to her. Bath, milk, 2 stories and then into bed. We(my DH and I) even always said the same things to let her know it was bedtime. e.g. Time for bed now...then a cuddle and kiss then putting her straight into her cot...followed by See you in the morning and then we left the room and closed the door.

I'll be honest it was hell on earth for 10 days!!! In the sense that I would go into our bedroom to listen to her cries subsiding sobbing myself and it got worse around 7 days in before it got better. It was really vital to be united with DH about it as we supported each other and took over when the other one was near to breaking point. I know it must sound so cruel to say in the end we just let her sob it out but we really had exhausted all other options. At the end of the day though it has been an absolute godsend to be able to put her down now and know we can just leave her to it and we won't be disturbed until the morning. It has saved endless fraught arguments between my DH and myself due to tiredness and just made our house a nicer and calmer place to be!! I thoroughly reccomend it now but you need to be strong both mentally and emotionally and work together with your partner if you have one. My DD is a real tough nut to crack but even after 2 years she still only took 10 days, so 10 days of hell is worth it for the end result! She is now 2 and a half and she still sleeps through every night.

My DS was a little under 2 when I decided enough was enough. I made sure he was definitely sleepy before putting him to bed, I sat next to him patting his back for 1 minute and then said I was going to the loo.
Left the room and ............... all quiet Didn't need to go back and we did this every night for a while and it worked. I was AMAZED!
I know we were very lucky, I was expecting the very worse but sometimes they can surprise you. You never know it may be the same for you.
We did feel daft as we had been staying with him for up to an hour for months

If DS had got upset I would have gone back in and said sleepy time, Mummy's going to have a bath etc and left him again.

Good luck x

We struggled with DD for absolutely ages, and i have no real help for you at all im afraid.

We used to put her down to bed whenever she started to get tired, so giving her a proper bedtime really helped as now she knows the routine she is usually ok. I'd never heard of CC before but i suppose thats what we did the first night.

Now she's older too 2yr6 its easier to talk to her and she usually accepts it if i say we're going to ....... tomorrow so one short sleep then we can go.

She still drops her lip when i walk out of the room after her story but no more crying and she goes off herself.

Really hope someone can be of more help to you. I remember those nights all too well

What about Rapid return to bed a la super nanny? I think it would prob work.

It may be hell for a few days but will pass I am sure.

The first night- put to bed as normal, everytime he hets up put back to bed with no eye contact and no speaking. Keep repeating as nessecery until he gos to sleep on his own.

I am sure this will only take a few nights to crack

Agree with keeva, you have to be united and firm, but in the first place you have to feel strong and confident enough to deal with it. I've recommended this book many a time. It was great for me when we needed it

Hey thanks so much everyone. So far, fingers crossed, you are all right. Last night dh put him to bed and went back every 5 mins until he eventually fell asleep at 9:15 without much crying, mainly just calling for dh. Then for his day sleep today (I am on New zealand time!) I put him down and left saying I would be just downstairs and would keep checking on him even after he is asleep. He called for me for 4 minutes, no crying, and then it went quiet! He was asleep! So am hopeful for tonight although of course ready for it not necessarily being so easy...but maybe! Its funny isn't it? It must be the age - that its okay for him now. Lets hope so! Thank you!

Let us know how tonight goes