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Sleep

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Original poster

people who do baby whisperer - shh/pat pu/pd

14 replies

hopefully · 30/10/2008 15:02

DS is 6 weeks and really pretty good for his age - he is on a pretty flawless 3 hr routine during the day, last feed at 6pm, bed at 7pm, i wake him at 10:30, he wakes at about 4am.

however, putting him down for naps and night time sleep is getting worse, not better. i used to rock him till he was almost asleep, with lullaby playing, then pop him in cot when he was a fraction away from sleep, and he would nod off. however, he now starts to come fully awake within a few seconds of going in the cot and screams, turning hysterical within a few seconds. i am increasingly rocking him until he is totally asleep, then putting him down, just so i can guarantee he'll stay asleep, which i really want to stop doing.

soooo... if i try shhh/patting, what if he gets hysterical, do i pick him up? Should I go straight to pu/pd? Also, he often suffers with constipation, and he can't sleep because of discomfort - should I shh/pat/pupd through this, or rock him to sleep during these times?

He is big and healthy (now well over 10lb), so no worries about his weight gain or anything!

Any thoughts?

OP posts:

walkingwomb · 30/10/2008 15:26

He is very tiny and I am not sure he will get the techniques you are talking about. What I have learnt is that for ages what worked yesterday does not necessarily work today but might work tomorrow! When my DD was his ages I didn't worry to much about where she slept, she was in with us a lot too. But I wanted her to be in the cot, so I would keep trying it but not to the point were I made myself miserable. However, With my DD popping her on the boob beside me and falling asleep always worked. She is now almost 6 months and sleeps always in her cot and self settles - so I have not ruined her!

I would keep cuddling him if that seems to help. How are you feeding him?

Original poster

hopefully · 30/10/2008 15:43

He is exclusively BF (although will merrily take a bottle of EBM when it's offered).

He did feed to sleep in the early days, but I stopped it cold turkey at about 3 weeks, and he didn't even make a small wail of complaint. Was v embarrassing, as I had been working myself up about stopping it. DP thought I was mad neurotic lady.

I know you're right about things not necessarily working every time, but I'm sort of thinking the more consistent I am now, when he finally does begin to make those associations, they'll be the right ones. Possibly I actually am a neurotic lady...

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walkingwomb · 30/10/2008 16:23

Cool - if you want to avoid the whole feeding to sleep thing then that is great. You are right about the right associations, but it can be gentle. I guess i just didn't want to stress out in the early days, so I did whatever worked until she was about 9 weeks, then started thinking more about consistency etc then - and that was more for me than her to get me in the routine of it. A HV told me that it is about the 5 month mark that they begin to realise about cause and effect and so I had that in my head as the time when I would start stressing about habits I wanted her to get into.

Maybe someone else will come along with more wisdom. Good luck

WW xx

scarletlilybug · 30/10/2008 16:42

I used ssh/pat until dd actually was asleep in the early days - putting her into her bed when she was groggy and staying until she was completely asleep. As she got used to being out in her bed, she would sleep for longer and longer intervals and after a while she could be put into bed fully awake and nod off unassisted.

I didn't have much luck with pupd, tbh. Not sure I ever actualloy got my head around what I was supposed to be doing. If baby is crying and upset, they need a bit of a cuddle to settle down again, imo. But once they're calm you can work towards putting them in their bed using ssh/pat. And the quiet, darkened room works well too, I found. HTH.

MrsBick · 30/10/2008 17:07

pickupput down is too upsetting for babies under 4 months. it unsettles them more but the shush pat works well cos they can't concentrate on crying and listening to the shush and the patting.

if all his other needs are met, i would keep going with the shush pat.

do you have a nice wind dowm bed time routine?

that really helped my DS. to the point where if he's tired now, his face lights up when i say 'time for bed' and start taking him upstairs.

i left his dummy downstairs last night so popped him in his cot while i went back to get it, i came back to find him trying to swaddle himslef up in his blanket (he's 11mths old)

Original poster

hopefully · 30/10/2008 17:08

thank WW, i will keep the 5 month mark in mind as well when i'm getting worked up!

scarlet i know what you mean with pu/pd...

OP posts:

Original poster

hopefully · 30/10/2008 17:44

MrsBick we have a bed time routine for night time, but I think I need a more sensible one for nap times too, so he begins to expect to go down. Maybe that will begin to help a bit. Bless your DS trying to swaddle himself!

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MrsMattie · 30/10/2008 17:46

Honestly? I really think 6 weeks is way too young for the whole Baby Whisperer sleep thing.

MatNanPlus · 30/10/2008 17:52

I change nappy and close the curtains and all the time am saying "sleepy time" then turn on the music, swaddle (if done) and place baby in bed, rubbing tummy, stroking face/head.

Current baby is 8m and i have been away for a while but she still resettles well when i have my hand on her head and shh her, she finds her thumb and settles, as soon as she is clam tho not asleep i lift me hand a little, it hoovers just incase and after a futhur few moments i retreat.

MrsBick · 30/10/2008 17:52

he tends to go down around the same time every nap. have you tried cuddling him with the blind drawn before popping him in his cot?

if he gets used to you going in , wrappinh him up, closing the blind then having a little cuddle, he will know what comes next.

Hope that helps!

Mrs Mattie- we did the BW from birth and it worked really well cos it's not a schedule but a routine. Ds was doing 8pm til 8am from 12 weeks, 2 naps a day. still thrives on it and struggles if he doesn't follow his usual pattern.
horses for courses

MrsMattie · 30/10/2008 18:07

Each to their own. I guess you either believe in these things or you don't.

Original poster

hopefully · 30/10/2008 18:13

I am a routine queen, and DS seems to be really happy on it, feeding and sleeping well when he eventually sleeps, it's just the getting him to sleep bit that is a bit of a struggle, and compared to what some people go through with a 6 week old, I know I probably have it easy!

Mrsbick and matnanplus thanks for the ideas - I will try having a nap time routine as well for a few days and do the shh pat and see how we get on - I think part of the problem has been not sticking with one method, so I will determinedly give myself a few days of this at every nap time and see where we are then.

I will report back!

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MatNanPlus · 30/10/2008 18:17

Ah, Hopefully i would suggest you think on the method you want to use, one that is sustainable long term and then write it out as a step by step plan and do just that, no adding,altering to it for a week.

Then you can tweak it.

angel1976 · 31/10/2008 09:51

Hi hopefully, my DS at 3 months would go hysterically at going into his cot (he was sleeping in an Amby before that). Again, he would be rocked to sleep but the moment he touches the cot, he is wide awake and screaming. I came on here and everyone told me he was too little for a big cot. So he continued sleeping in the Amby. At 4 months, we visited my family overseas and he went into a travel cot (smaller than the cotbed we have) happily and when we came back 3 weeks later, he was happy to go into the big cot (and still is at 8 months old). So I second what everyone here says from experience that he is probably too little for the big cot!

Also, I never did PUPD. But the shush/pat thing did work well for me and now DS settles really well by himself but if he is ever unsettled, I do find the shush/pat still works. GL! I remember those early days were hell-ish!

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