Not taking daytime naps in the cot

[Jun]

I find it a battle to get my DD to sleep in the day. She'll sleep in her pram (for about 30 mins if moving) or in the car or in my arms, but if I try to put her down in the cot she always wakes up after 10 mins.

I just feel like such a bad mother as she is not taking proper daytime naps in her cot and I am lucky if I can get her to have 3 short naps a day.

Have tried putting her into her cot when I know she is tired but eventually she gets upset. Maybe I am not good enough at reading the signs.

I posted a week ago about trying to teach her to self settle in the evenings, but am still sneaking her into her cot asleep at this stage. I just feel as though I am getting it all wrong.

Hi again. Have you tried keeping your arm on her (or under her) while in the cot? It's a suggestion from Baby Whisperer (I think) and it does help with the transition. Try sticking around and patting her gently for longer than 10 min. HTH!

I know exactly how you feel. DD will sleep on me for ages, and is currently asllep on DH in the sling after a long walk - 2 hours now - unheard of. The minute I put her in her cot she wakes, I can sometimes get her into her bouncy chair and maybe she'll do 30 mins, longer if I come back and bounce her at the right moment.

Recently she has been waking all night too, and I have trouble getting her into the cot asleep then too, but I get there in the end. Naptimes though there is no chance. She is 16 weeks, how old is yours?

I feel the same - like I am a rubbish mother for not getting her to nap enough. Do I just keep walking her in the sling for her naps? She is getting heavy!

Fabiani and Jun your DD and mine are vv similar - I feel your pain!

DD is 18 weeks. Feel like it is my fault as I went out most days in the early weeks, perhaps I should have stayed home more.

I haven't tried keeping my arm o her, is worth a go.

I know how you feel. It's so easy to feel like you're getting it all wrong, especially when other people's babies appear to be sleeping, and all the books tell you to do this, that and the next thing or else. But I think some babies just sleep better than others and I read it's a sign of intelligence if they don't sleep well (too alert). My SIL said to me that everyone else's sleepy babies will probably have some other problem with eating/potty training/talking etc that mine won't have, so take heart, it doesn't mean you are a bad mother.

Very interested in this post as My dd was the exactly same. She never took a daytime nap unless it was falling asleep on breast or in pram, but she was easily woken up again. Nevertheless at about 3 months I was so shattered and worried that I did start putting her down in her cot every day even if she just played or whinged for half an hour. Sometimes she could be cajoled to sleep but she never slept more than 30 mins max and that was if I had spent half an hour soothing, cuddling ssshhing etc,

Then out of the blue, after 8 weeks of trying to put her down, she got to 5 months and had a complete turn around. . Don't know what happened?

She was with a temporary childminder for 1 month (4 till 5 months old) for 3-4 hours a day. The week after she finished there my HV came round and I explained how hard it was to get her to take day time naps. She said try putting her down now, she has been awake for an hour and half, fed and played, put her down now in her cot awake.

I had huge doubts but willing to try to just show my HV what it was like. So I did just that. I put her in her sleeping bag ( same as she uses at night) closed the curtains and kisssed her said go to sleep now baby...and walked out of the room.
After about a minute or so she started whinging then a little cry. HV said go back in and give her her dummy/stroke her head/tummy for a few secs then come out again. I did all of the above and walked out again. She slept for an amazing 2 and a half hours !!!! Never done it before that day in my house. Since then she naps every day as long as I put her down about an hour and a half after she woke up last.

I have absolutely no idea if the child minder had a serious word with her which helped or if it was just a coincidence?? Or if it just takes persistence ( I had asked the CM t try putting her down everyday too like I had started to.) and catching them before they actually get really tired. Look for signs like a yawn or a vague expression, rubbing eyes etc...

Wishing you tons of luck, as I genuinely know how hard it can be, especially if they have had a restless night as well plus you run out of things to d with them...LOL
Will keep a look out for your updates t the post.

Good Luck

I like the intelligence explaination Raspberry Blower. it stands to reason.

my 8 week old son won't stay asleep in his basket during the day, and i am confused by the conflict between "you should never leave a young baby to cry" and "give them a chance to settle themselves, even if it involves a little crying".

he's brilliant at sleeping in pram, on me etc. and usually goes into his basket at night without incident, but daytime naps on his own don't really happen.

Run out of things to do with them! So true LavenderTea.

In my experience most are like this but as LavenderTea says persistence is the key. Trying to settle for naps from 3 to 4 months is a good idea as usually you are shattered by then and their sleep cycles should have matured a bit. Try set nap times, dark room after a feed and either leaving to cry or if your nerves can't take it (mine couldn't) pick up put down or gradual withdrawal (week of holding and rocking week of shushing and patting, week of patting, week of hand on tummy week of sitting by cot week of sitting by door etc etc) lordy not looking fwd to this with DD 14 wks as she is even more of a screamer than DS was but November seems like a good time-crap weather no daylight and hopefully might get some sort of routine going by christmas....

DD was like this, and I have to say, I just kept plugging away til she eventually got it. Took a while, but it did click, and she suddenly managed to get herself to sleep. It was almost magic, one day she couldn't do it and I was patting, shushing, rocking putting down sleepy but not asleep over and over again etc, doing PUPD a la baby whisperer, then suddenly, at about 4/5 months, it all worked! She is 6 months now and I am still amazed whenever she just goes to sleep, and very, very grateful. She will go down at night, and for morning and lunchtime nap, but if at home, will still not go down in cot for afternoon nap. Not sure why, but I don't worry too much, am grateful for what I have.

Have patience! It will come (eventually)

Oh, I started putting her down at bedtime from 8 weeks (took weeks and weeks before she managed to have a bedtime, she yelled and I shushed and patted for ages) and then at about 3ish months I started on daytime naps cos I got fed up of having to go out every time I wanted her to sleep.

Tiktok I've read endless threads on here about sleeping and breastfeeding and I do feel that some people aren't as sensitive as they could be. Perhaps my reading was coloured by my guilt at my own 'failure' to cope better with breastfeeding, but unfortunately almost every struggling BFer seems to carry some of that guilt. Somehow our worth as mothers has become very tied up with how we feed our babies, so the whole issue requires endless sensitivity. To go back to the OP, we seem to have the worst of both worlds at the moment...more guilt but no more women managing to successfully breastfeed.

so glad to read this thread - sums up my 13wo's sleep and my feelings of guilt/incompetence/failure. DP just got angry with me if I admitted how I felt. Will try to go easy on myself, keep trying and hope it sorts out in a few months...

Totally normal. They "get it" at different ages I think depending on the baby. My first at 7 months for nighttime but never for day. My second is kind of half way there for all sleeps at 8 months.

Give yourselves a break! Use s pram, sling, feed, cuddle.

Naps are done with before you know it whereas you'll always have bedtime.

I needed to read this thread today! My 13 week old will nap just dandy in the pram or sling or on me, but hell no to the stationary indoor cot nap. I also feel like a rubbish mother for not being able to get this. Really really worried as she will be going to a minder for four hours four days a week from when she is 18 weeks. I'll feel so guilty about landing her on minder if she won't sleep and cries for me..
Going to try to start a persistent nap routine in next few days. It took a while to get a bedtime routine going, maybe two weeks, but it did eventually pay off so fingers crossed...