2 year old totally refusing to nap even though exhausted..any ideas?

[fairylights]

ds will be 2 in a few days and until the last couple of weeks he has always slept happily for a couple of hours in the afternoon (maybe 1-3ish) but now really, really REALLY doesn't want to get into his cot and becomes hysterical wanting to come out. He is not like this at bedtime (apart from occasionally) so don't think its the cot? So i leave him to look at books in his room for a half hour (there is a stairgate on the door) and we are both happy..
but by 4pm he is past himself with exhaustion - i try to keep him going til an early bdetime so it does throw his night time sleep although this has definitely been affected as he is waking at night - again! He is generally a bit grumpy and difficult all day now because he is tired..
just wondering if taking the side off his cot (its a cotbed) might make him feel less stressy and more inclined to sleep?! any ideas welcome.. thanks

My DS1 gave up his nap at about the same age.
It did take a couple of weeks of similar stress getting used to being awake all day, but he did adjust and become more able to stay up til bedtime after that.

Quiet time in his room for the same period as he used to nap really helped and then make sure you do tea and bath etc earlier than normal so that the hour before bed he can just chill and watch TV if he is tired.

thanks 2.4 - did your ds go from sleeping quite a bit in the day to no sleep at all?!
I am just surprised that only weeks ago he seemed to need a couple of hours and then none at all..but if this is the way its going to be then we will learn to live with it, and make sure bedtime is earlier!

?? Mine does this. However I leave him in his room for a lot longer than 30mins. Usually an hour and half, and usually he falls asleep by then. I figure that time-out and rest from stimulation is good for him even if he doesn't actually sleep.

But his cot sides were taken off when he was 21months, so he can roam around taking books on and off the book case (there aren't any toys in his room).

If he's really tired and you think he needs the sleep I would say you just have to gently but firmly persevere. Same routine for naptime every day. Be kind and understanding but be firm about him having a sleep.

I had a similar phase with my dd. I never ever forced her to have a nap, and some days we fart-arsed about discussing it for ages but she always eventually went down happily. I found it was helpful to agree that she didn't have to have a sleep, but insist that she had to lie in bed for "a rest" - she would then drop off. I also used to tell her what we had planned to do when she woke up. It never had to be particularly exciting (eg paint a lovely picture for Daddy) but if it was something she wanted to do I'd explain that she could do it as soon as she woke up, but we couldn't do it until she'd had a sleep.

Would it help to have more sleep cues for nap time? Wearing a gro-bag? Having a drink of milk? Having a quiet story? Treat it a bit more like a bedtime.

Oh yes, I think you should take the side off his cot. He is plenty old enough to learn that he is not allowed to get out of the cot, and it is much, much easier to introduce a story as part of bedtime while lying down in the cot (as extra incentive to getting him to stay in there) as well as rubbing his back for a bit.

Have you got blackout curtains? DD is much younger but still sleeps better in our room, which has black curtains, rather than the other room with white curtains.

hmm think taking the sides off the cot may well be the way to go - re sleep cues Broccoli: have had lots (putting nightlight on/reading a story/having a drink etc..) but these have all become tools of procrastination on his part! But i do think that not being able to get out of the cot is the thing that is stressing him most and being able to get out and then back in again to bed might make him more open to the idea of a sleep!

yes his room does have blackout curtains ninedragons, he is always wanting to pull them open!

Hi Fairylights I know exactly what you are going through and have tried to introduce quiet time instead of a sleep and have had to bring tea time and bed time forward as 2.4 suggests.
I dont seem to be having much joy with quiet time/rest time though ...has anyone got any top tips?! - I need some!