Crying It Out method on 13 week old

[Wigglesworth]

My DS is 13 weeks old and has trouble settling to sleep. He is better at night but only when we pat him to sleep. During the day he wakes up after about 45 mins and won't go back to sleep and cries. He stirs a few times during the night and whinges but usually goes back to sleep when we pop his dummy back in and pat his tummy a little.
He still sleeps in our room at night in his moses basket, but during the day we virtually let him sleep where ever he will sleep in his pram, on sofa (obviously we don't leave his side if we do this!).
We are thinking about starting the crying it out method but not sure if he is too young yet. Anybody have experience of this or any tips and advice would be greatly appreciated. Myself and DH just don't want to leave it too late to sort this out cos I am sure it will get worse!

But ww, what makes you think he isn't hungry when he wakes in the night?

Far too young. Not really a big fan of leaving babies of any age to cry but it's a personal choice. At this age he is too young to learn and he'll be scared and probably fight sleep times even more as he associates it with bewing abandoned. I don't know any 13 week olds who settle themselves and reliably sleep through. I was lucky with my ds who slept very well compared to most babies but even he had to be fed to sleep at night and rocked to sleep in the day, he only ever napped in my arms and never settled himself until 12 months when he was developmentally ready to do so. At 13 weeks, I know it feels like he is the only one that isn't sleeping through and doesn't settle himself but it's so not the case. Remember that he is just a baby, 13 weeks ago he was inside you so he needs your reassurrance.

My DS was still waking and feeding every 3 hours at 13wks and only started sleeping from the 10.30pm dream feed til 7amish at around 18wks.

I notice you say he's still in a moses basket. My Ds moved into his cot at 5wks as he used to wake himself up by hitting the sides of his moses basket in his sleep. Could this be the case? Also is he waking up crying or grumbling? I found my son slept better in his own room as we were disturbing him and I didn't wake at every little whimper so he quite often settled himself back to sleep without me really realising.

13wks is still very young and I certainly wouldn't leave him to cry it out. My son at 23wks still is bad at sleeping during the day and if I want him to have longer than half an hour then I put a movie on and cuddle him!

Wigglesworth my DS is 16 weeks and he had dropped the middle of the night feed before 13 weeks but more often than not he wakes up a few times in the night. I'm quite confident he's not hungry either as he settles back to sleep with his dummy quite quickly without too much fuss and isn't necessarily ravenous for his 7am feed. He has a dummy too, and I'm pretty convinced the dummy is starting to disturb his sleep. (He can take it out quite easily so why can't he just put it back in )

My understanding is that its quite common for babies to wake up after 45 minutes generally though (its something to do with their sleep cycles). I found my DS slept better during the day when I started working towards a daytime nap routine and put him upstairs in his cot to sleep. Previously I'd just let him sleep as and when. He has around 45 minutes in the morning, a longer lunchtime nap and a short nap in the afternoon. He often does wake up after about 45 minutes at lunchtime but can be settled back to sleep (but sometimes it's really hard work and takes a lot of perseverence).

Before I had him I read all the books and worried about creating sleep associations and bad habits etc and considered all sorts of different methods to create good sleep behaviours. I was paranoid about everything to do with his sleep for about the first two months. In the end though, things only started to click into place once I found I could spot when he was tired and make sure he was put down for a nap. I guess I'm trying to say that you shouldn't worry too much and trust your instincts - it will all come together in the end.

Now I'm off to have a cuppa and read the very long thread about dummies for some top tips on weaning him off that!

Thanks to everyone for your messages. Sorry if I wasn't clear, when I said cry it out I didn't mean just leave the poor mite to scream himself to sleep. What I meant was rock him and settle him quietly in his room and then put him down in his cot very sleepy but still awake. Then if he starts to become unsettled keep checking on him every 5 mins and settle him back down (but without picking him back up and patting him again) to reassure him that we are still there.
I agree with settling him in his room and I do think losing his dummy is starting to wake him up when he enters light sleep. I will look at the dummies thread for further advice on this. Thanks to you all. If anyone has any further advice I am all ears.