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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

how much sleep....?

46 replies

starlover · 02/03/2005 12:18

how much sleep should my 3 week old be getting?
he sleeps pretty well at night, usually only up once or twice.
He also used to sleep during the day between feeds, but the lat few days he has just stayed awake for most of the day.
Is this normal or should he be sleeping more?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

blodwen · 15/03/2005 22:20

So not so good today, but yes, DO keep at it; at least try it for one week. Think positive and be firm. Think of it as doing him a favour in the long term. Keep us posted.

blodwen · 15/03/2005 22:23

Sorry - I sound like a real old haridan here! I'm actually not that bad!. It's just that I've seen the good results so many times over!

singyswife · 15/03/2005 22:30

My daughter who is now 4 didn't sleep through the night until she was 2 1/2. She got to the stage your child is at where if she even fell asleep in the car coming back from the shop she would be up util 1030pm. This was not good given that she would wake up again about 2ish and not go back to sleep until 3 or 4. She was a nightmare. She did this until she was 2 and a half. I tried everything!!!! Absolutely everything!!!! She eventually (thank god) grew out of it and is now going down without a fuss at 7.30pm and getting up at 7am. This I think is wonderful. If your child is grumpy bacause you have not let him sleep, what I used to do was put her in the shower (not bath) before her dinner. This revived her for a while and let me get her fed while she was happy. Then we did PJ's, into bed with a story and eventually that worked. Just keep at it, it will get better!!

Surfermum · 15/03/2005 23:08

Parker - she will normally sleep for at least an hour in the morning. Today she went down at about quarter to 12 and had 2 hours. She does seem very adaptable though and doesn't seem affected by a change in routine. She's gone all day without a nap sometimes and then just zonks at bedtime.

daddyactually · 16/03/2005 06:52

urrgghh... well he woke up at 3 am in a really good mood and ready for chat & play. By 5.30 he was obviously very tired and all our efforts at getting him down had failed so we put him in his bed, shut the door and let him cry for a minute or two. Then went in comforted and left again etc etc. He eventually fell asleep at 6.00. I'm now ready to leave for work but we will probably get him dressed for nursery at 7.30, let him sleep a bit longer in the car, collect him from nursery really early and hopefully have an early lunchtime nap. This should help with tonight?...

pipsy1 · 16/03/2005 08:04

Will be interested in your results. Our DD is 18mths and we are having sleep probs too. She goes down happily at 7pm but wakes 4 or 5am for the day. Trouble is she's then ready for her nap at about 9 or 10am (and so am I!).Not sure if she's just had enough sleep by 4am or what? She will not go back to sleep no matter what we try. CC just keeps going until time for us to get up anyway, and we have tried this for ages...

Parker · 16/03/2005 12:11

Well no joy in our house either. DS2 took 45 mins to settle to sleep at bedtime then woke at 2amish wide awake chatting for a few hours then back to sleep-no crying-no intervention from us. How come R Ferber never mentions this problem?
And that was with a resricted 1 hour sleep after lunch. I think I'll just let him have his normal 11/2 toaday as perhaps he was over tired? He has always had periods of chatting in the night then they just stop and I cant work out why.
Any views would be appeciated.

daddyactually · 16/03/2005 12:40

Me too! He just chats away and wants to go downstairs. Then after a few hours of trying to keep him upstairs and quiet, he starts getting really tired and can't then get back to sleep. So we have crying and, this morning, screaming. Just don't know what to do apart from what we are doing. Hoping that you'll be proved right Blodwen and perhaps we just need a bit of time to help him into a new routine...

blodwen · 16/03/2005 17:58

Hope so too. 5 more days?

blodwen · 16/03/2005 18:21

Just a thought... when you go in to comfort him, what do you say/do. IME the best thing is to say "It's time to sleep" every time you go in. Lie hime down if necessary, say it once in a firm but 'boring' tone of voice, and leave. Don't lie hime down more than once each time, and don't say anything else. He'll soon get bored when he realises that nothing else is on offer.

HuskyGirl · 16/03/2005 20:17

Starlover - regarding your original question My DD is 4 weeks old and seems to be doing pretty much the same as your DS so dont worry, I'm sure if he was that tired he'd be much more grizzly. Now that we have conquered the problem of her using the bottle to get off to sleep she seems to be awake a lot more between feeds too. Still have no time to do the ironing then, damn it!!!!

daddyactually · 16/03/2005 22:14

Today he was fine at nursery all morning, then slept for 1hr 45 at lunchtime (making up for last night!) and then went down at 8.35 this evening without fuss (probably stil knackered!). Blodwen, last night every time we went in to comfort him just said "sleepy time now", stroked his head and then left again. We are starting a sleep diary this week too in an effort to identify how much sleep he needs each day - then we can hopefully manage when he takes it in a way that gives time during the day and an evening. Just gotta keep at it I guess! Parker, how are things with you? Pipsy1 - sounds harsh! Is the room dark enough? Could she have another daytime nap later in the day? If she had a short afternoon nap would she go down later but then also get up later in the morning? Can't believe I said that when we are trying to recover evening time! Our thoughts are with you and hope you have a good night tonight...

blodwen · 16/03/2005 22:33

It sounds as though you're doing really well!Hope you all have a peaceful night.

Parker · 17/03/2005 12:09

Repeat performance here last night but discovered he seems to like a very low night light on.He just doesn't seem sleepy at bedtime any more although he has always had the same routine.

daddyactually · 17/03/2005 13:04

Parker, sorry to hear you had two bad nights now. How is your older one during all this - do they coaxe each other or is he going to bed nicely? What I've started to do this week is attempt to get him tired out in the late afternoon after tea (I get home at about 4.30) by playing in the garden - or yesterday taking him to the playground to go on the slide etc for a while. Then we go indoors and watch a bit of video, during which time he chills out a bit. Then we go upstairs and have a long warm bath (30 minutes or so) during which all lights go off upstairs except in the bathroom and a small lamp in his bedroom. Also any downstairs lights visible from upstairs landing go out. After bathtime we turn off bathroom light and go into his bedroom for PJ's, books, milk and eventually bed. He seems to be adapting to this quite well and whereas last week was behaving exactly like yours sounds to be, he is now getting sleepy (eventually!) and going down nicely. As you can see we had a problem the night before last, but last night was fine. He woke in night at 3.45 but my wife managed to get im back to sleep within 20 minutes just by resting her hand on his back while he lay down. Then he stayed asleep until 7.15 this morning. Does any of this help? Really hope you have a better night tonight.

Parker · 17/03/2005 18:23

Daddyactually sounds as though your new routine is working wonders. Excellent news. I just think ds2 is going through a developmental stage and can't switch off- he's done this before waking up in the night but not at bedtime.
Ds1 seeems to sleep through it but he is just at school and very tired and in a different room and both their doors are closed. Ds1 insists on this to keep the cat and other monsters out!!
It helps to hear how others cope with this problem.

daddyactually · 17/03/2005 20:54

Parker you sound like you're coping really well with the challenges you are facing which is great. I was thinking and I'm pretty sure that these particular bedtime troubles started for us just over 4 weeks ago - when our son was probably only just approaching 18mnths. Maybe there is a developmental stage about then which causes this, as you suggest. Hopefully in a short time your boy will be through it and getting back into good sleeping habits again! Until then keep at it, you are doing a great job!

I am convinced that we interpreted our boy's behaviour wrongly now. He really needs a good sleep in the day and then a good wind down routine at night. Tonight we let him watch his Winnie to Pooh video while we had dinner in the kitchen. When we told him it was bathtime he just got up and turned the tv off himself - how cute is that!? He's a bit of a gadget boy actually - he can already work the stereo, tv and dvd player himself! Anyway, this is amazing because our problem was that all he wanted to do at bedtime before this all started this week was watch Pooh videos! Tonight we also had a shorter bathtime and story time and he was down by 8:25!

Parker · 18/03/2005 12:49

Daddyactually are you sticking to an hour nap now?
I find anything shorter isn't enough. As my 2 go down at 7pm I am thinking 11/2 might be too long?? Ds2 woke full of life at 6am but I didn't hear him in the night so that was better. Glad to hear you have cracked the bedtime routine.

daddyactually · 18/03/2005 13:00

Parker - great news about last night - so pleased for you all! Yes we are trying to keep to 1hr or 1hr 15mins at the most. We are also trying to make sure that he's up and about by 1.30 at lunchtime, and then ensure he does something quite energetic in the afternoon to use up some energy. This seems to work well for us. Ours also went all the way through last night! Blodwen you are a star for encouraging us to keep at it for a week! Happymumof2 and TracyK, thanks for realising that he was actually overtired and did need his daytime nap!

blodwen · 18/03/2005 18:39

That's wonderful! What a result in only 4 days! And thanks for the message - nice 'cos it's my birthday today! Just keep up the routine and pass on your tips to other weary parents.

pipsy1 · 19/03/2005 17:06

Glad everyone seems to be sorting themselves. Our DD has been really poorly this week with an ear infection so everything went totally out of the window. She woke every night drenched in sweat and so thirsty so we have been up with her quite often. Last night she was better, woke at 1am and had some water then went through til 6am. 6 I can handle, lets hope the 4ams are a thing of the past!

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