DS 13 months and sleep has gone really wrong - is this separation anxiety?

[bluestripes]

DS (13 Mths) used to sleep really well and go to sleep on his own and self settle when he woke in the night. For the last three weeks it has been going so badly wrong. He is teething and getting four molars at the same time so we have just put it down to this and keep thinking once they are through all will be ok again. They are pretty much through though and things are getting worse not better. at bedtime now he is fine and happy, we put him in his cot and then leave and he instantly starts screaming and getting REALLY upset, he will only settle again if one of us stands in his room next to his cot or pats his back, this will go on for up to a couple of hours, then when he wakes in the night it starts all over again - he's waking about 2-3 times a night. We are so tired and just don't know what to do anymore. Do think this sounds like separation anxiety at night or has he just got into a bad habit from all the teeething trouble. How can we sort this out as we are just shattered now!

Am in similar boat, sorry not much help but I understand how you feel!

DD2 went through this at probably a similar age, maybe a little older ... she would settle fine but wake up around 2am ish and would be awake for a couple of hours. I tried everything - gentle cuddles, popping in and out, even got to the stage where I would flick lights on and have a story just to get her out of the "I don't want to go to sleep" rut. In the end, it just got more and more frequent so I went cold turkey. She'd start crying, I'd leave her a bit to see if she would settle, it would get hysterical, I'd go in, pick up, calm words, back in cot, out again. She'd start to cry, but it would be on and off so I knew she was just trying it on really ... after about 30 mins of this on and off crying, I'd go back in if it was escalating badly but me going in made it worse really ... after 2 hours, she went back to sleep. It was really hard but I was just so knackered. Anyway, it must have been 2-3 nights of this and then she was fine.

Not sure if this helps but it worked for me. Good luck!

Is he about to start walking? Some are very badly affected by development and walking is a huge one. If he hasn't gone through SA yet, then it almost certainly is that. Have you heard of the "rubber band" technique? Where you stay by them and then retreat, come back if they get upset, then retreat again, etc. Over a few days you can move to in the hallway reading a book, etc.

I feel your pain! DS (11 months) has been doing this for the past week or so. Seems to be settling down now as he slept through last night. Hope it lasts!

We did something similar to what ches suggests. Stayed with him while he fell asleep for a few nights, then stood outside the open door saying "shhh" if he cried, then last night, DP was able to put him down and leave the room. DS made a small cry, then settled down.

Bloody annoying as it does feel like you're going backwards, but if it is SA, then they just need a bit of extra reassurance for a bit. Oh, we also found that giving him loads of attention in the evening before bed helped too.