All those opposed to Controlled Crying...

[Jennyusedtobepink]

So I started the above thread this morning, and whilst researching other similar threads on MN, came across one that called CC 'assault'.

SO for all those parents vehemently opposed to controlled crying, WWYD in my shoes???

Thoughts from an anti cc person.

Both of mine did this about the same age. They grow out of it.

The way we saw it was with child one we desperately fought it determined that we would have our evenings and she would learn .

DD2 we thought bugger that get up if you want prior to us going to bed and she played about whilewe got on with whatever. Far less resentment no lying there boiling with supressed rage (hmm do you think that helpsthem get tosleep ).

Child will look tired again at some point and off they go to bed normally rapidly.

She is just a baby and really who cares, you can mess about with her routine as required.

Both of mine did this about the same age. They grow out of it.

sorry, by this do you mean poor sleeping?
and when did they grow out?

IMO the problem is that you are letting her sleep for 2-3 hours in the day, so she is often not tired at bedtime or in the middle of the night.

Both of mine stopped ALL daytime naps at 18 months - on the days they had them, they slept terribly.

I know some children NEED day-time naps but I would say your DD's behaviour suggests she is napping TOO MUCH.

I would reduce her daytime nap to 90 minutes for a week and see what happens - if things are still problemmatic, then reduce it more.

Personally I wouldn't care about WHERE she sleeps, AS LONG as she sleeps. But if she is not going to sleep for 3 hours, and is awake and playful in the night, then IMO she is sleeping too much in the day.

PERSONALLY at this age I would aim for them to be sleepy at 7pm and sleep through the night - maybe waking up several times and being cuddled back to sleep, but not being awake and playful, which is the killer.

Sorry have checked again and she is only napping for 1 hour during the day? Is that right? Is that the case even on days when she is awake until 9pm?

To be honest, I am very anti-CC for various personal reasons. With my first I was very stressed about doing everything right, but things improved over time and by the time she was about 4 she slept GENERALLY through the night in her bed every night.

My nearly 3 year old sometimes sleeps all nights in her own bed, but sometimes doesn't. Last night she stomped loudly into our room at midnight and gallumphed into our bed shouting I CAN'T SLEEP. DH went into her bed and she slept in our bed all night - she has a bad cough at the mo, which i think was upsetting her.

So, every night is different but she is MUCH better than she was a year ago. My aim isn't to make the children sleep through all night - my aim is just to parent them during the night in the same way as I do during the day, and just try to meet their needs as gently as i can.

If you and your husband are arguing and stressed then the solution is not to get your DD to sleep during the night. I'd recommend couple's counselling if you can arrange it - it really helps with communication issues, and it sounds like he is really putting you down and being unsupportive. IF he is like this about sleep, then he is going to be like this when she is tantrumming at Asda. And she will pick up on all the stress too.

There isn't a SOLUTION IME which will painlessly fix things, but they will get better in time.

erm SPB they grew out of the evening partying in a couple of months dd1 slept through about 17 months and has done so pretty much ever since.

DD2 sleeps from (age 2) 7 until 5 then comes through for a cuddle and goes back to sleep. Main diff is dd1 had all her teeth by 17 months and dd2 still to get 3 molars.

I cosleep extended BF tandem fed the works and my kids sleep fine when they are ready to do so. I just don't see the point of pushing them about and everyone getting stressed when you can be relaxed about it.

Oh jenny poor you. My friend too has a 16 month old DD and she is going through exactly the same as you atm. She has just text me to say she is exhausted and off to bed. At 8pm.

Firstly, as you have been advised, you need to sort out what you think is the best solution for you and your DD and STICK to it. I have found that with both of mine, when I had to get them to sleep through the night, I had to do a form of CC where I would go in after 2 mins, pat her then leave for 3 mins, go back in, pat her then leave, go back in after 4 mins etc etc. Usually within 30 mins they were asleep. Yes they cried but they knew I hadn't abandoned them and no, it is not cruel as what would be worse is if you and your DH split up because your relationship is non-existent. Since doing this with both my girls, they have never given me a bad night's sleep, only when ill. You have to have an iron will and stick to it.

Good luck.