Has cc not worked for anyone?

[sausagecake]

Just wandering. Have reached breaking point with the lack of sleep. DD 17mo and I have tried everything else.

I remember trying it a for a short while but DS was never having any of it - if it had worked within a few days I would have been very happy but it didn't; DS seemed to just need someone with him in order to get off to sleep and that's what we did for ages. I was happier doing that and all of us having a calm, happy evening, than having him cry.

What sort of problems do you have with your DD? What have you tried?

She takes between 1-2 hours before getting to sleep and wakes between 3-6 times a night. We rarely get her down before 9pm. When she wakes through the night she will get out of bed and come to me for a cuddle and nipple to sooth or she will sit up in bed and cry until I get to her. I co-sleep most of the time but this is very exhausting as she is a noisy and physical sleeper. Have done all the usual routines previously mentioned ie bath, story, cuddles + bed. Porridge before bed, lavender rub and bubble bath, light music, night light, complete darkness, the list goes on. CC is the only thing I have not tried. Dad works nights so is unable to assist at all.

Might be wrong, but 17mo sounds a bit old for doing cc - might be quite traumatic for all of you. Have you tried gradual withdrawal? (CC did work for us like a charm, but DS was 7 mo)

Why not co-sleep with her in your double bed, as Dad is not there using it!!!! It would at least help with the night wakings?

Sounds like you have a very good nightime routine. My ds was similar - needed people when he woke! He still takes a good while to drop off...perhaps some kids find it hard to switch off, and you obviously couldn't be doing more to relax her.

If this was me, I would sit with her while she drops off (making it clear that if she gets up and/or messes about, I will leave). Then if/when she wakes in the night, take her into the big bed.

Don't know what you think of that, or have you already tried??

We hired a night nanny for DD (at 6 months) who basically did CC I think. Well whenever DD woke up she checked she was ok (not face down etc), checked she had her Blankie, and then left her. Then checked her again every 5-10 mins until she fell asleep. She never picked her up at all.

It took 11 nights though, to get her to sleep through til at least 6am.

She does wake up now sometimes (8.5 months) but always settles herself within a couple of mins.

The night nanny slept in same room as DD (DD is one of DTs so we moved her up into loft so as not to disturb DS2).

Yes, sorry, me.

I've written about it before, partly because I think it's important to give 'the other side of the story'.

We tried cc for 5 nights when DS was about 19 months or so, it was hell, it didn't even come close to working.

That said, I know one mum in real life who did it for 2 solid weeks before seeing any results.

I wasn't prepared to do that, but I managed to cope with the sleep deprivation.

DS is 2.6 and still needs us for 30 mins to an hour while he falls asleep, and then once or twice in the night. I co-sleep with him after he wakes up in the night, which helps me to cope.

If you go down that route, I'd say that most people see results within 3-4 nights, and experience 'angry' rather than 'hysterical' crying from their LO.

I promise, it's obvious if it isn't working.

And although I felt rotten about doing that to DS at the time, he has had no lasting ill effects at all. I felt it was something I had to at least try, because sleep deprivation is awful for everyone. You have my absolute sympathy.

She has a double bed in her room which I use to co-sleep. If I have to get up more than twice then I will go to her bed. I like to keep mine free so I can get a better quality of sleep if I can get it. You mentioned that your ds was similar - at what age did he grow out of it HG. I am curious also thebecster why my 17mo might be too old. Have I left it too late. I had thought of it about a year but it had crossed my mind that it might be too early. Oh god! it's my own fault isn't it - getting her into bad sleeping habits?

Did it for 2 weeks when ds1 was 14 mo.

Followed the CC to the letter.

By the 14th night of doing it, ds1 was awake and crying pretty much non stop between 2.30 -6.30 am, when he then finally succumbed to exhaustion.

We had to stop the CC after that as we had taken 2 weeks off work to do it properly, but we were more knackered at the end of it than we ever had been before.

It just doesn't work for some kids. Their distress is too great

Depends what you mean by 'worked'. We tried it with my eldest. After a week of hellish nights when he cried and cried whenever we left him, he finally realised he could get himself to sleep. But it was very upsetting for all of us. But the next week he got a cold and we had to start all over again and it took just as long. And then he had a series of bad dreams... etc. Doing it once is OK, again and again is quite another. So we gave up. And co-slept. DH threatened to leave me if I ever tried it with the others

Sausagecake - In the book I used for when sleep-training DS "The Good Sleep Guide' by Angela Hendersen she says that over 10 months you should use gradual withdrawal. (She calls it graded leaving, but same diff) I assume that it's because older babies/toddlers are more aware of time, and I guess it's harder to learn to self-soothe older, and that they have already established their 'cues' for sleep so it's harder for them to unlearn??? Just guessing tbh. I know that DS didn't get nearly so much separation anxiety as a baby as he has since he became a toddler. Like I say, we did cc when he was a baby, and he slept through. But then, when he was about 18 months or so he had to have steroids which completely screwed up his sleep. So we had to start from scratch. I did gradual withdrawal that time rather than cc, as I believed that he was too old for cc, and that it would be traumatic for him.

Don't worry too much about whether you've left it too late - I don't think there's much right and wrong, we're all just muddling through, aren't we?

I have tried a bit of gradual withdrawal, but dd gets so cross with me being in the room and not communicating with her, it makes her even more upset. Sorry to piss rain on your parade and all that.

This is the child that watched ITNG and had a bottle at 4am this morning. No wonder she doesn't bloody sleep.

Yep, should have said that having done both, I definitely found gradual withdrawal much, much, harder. I wouldn't have done it if I'd have thought there was a chance of cc working again!

sausage I don't think this is your fault. Many kids do wake.

Unfortunately for you one of the best things for me was having DH take his share of going in to DS. He settled a helluva lot better for DH and didn't tend to wake so much when he knew he would only get dad. I know you can't do this though

I think IIRC DS was about two, when he stopped night wakings. However as Orm says nothing with kids is really cut and dried; when ds was ill he would go back to waking. Even now, he's six, and when he's anxious about something or unwell, he wants me to sit in with him while he drops off etc. But he doesn't really wake in the night so there is hope there!!!

Thanks HG and everyone for your replies. I will try the gradual withdrawl first and see how I get on.