son wakes at 5am - put to bed earlier or later?

[buttercup]

My son has always been an early waker but things have become just that bit too extreme in the last few months. Its not unknown for him to be up at 4.30 but the average is probably about 5am at the moment. Feeling pretty desparate about this as can barely function at work.

I dont know whether to put him to bed earlier or later to try and shift his waking time (I'm not looking for miracles - even 6am would be okay). I have heard that putting them to bed later doesn't really work but would like to know if anyone has experience of this. Thought I could try putting him to bed earlier instead but worried he will wake up REALLY early then.

I know its probably just best to experiment but i think sleep pattern changes often take a while to kick in.

Can you tell us a bit more? Like, what time does he go to bed now? How old is he? How much/when does he sleep during the day?

Buttercup - I know how you feel. We had a similar problem with DS, now 17 mths. There is a recent thread "Any tips to get them to sleep in later" which may help. Unfortunately, we just learned to live with the situation, going to bed at 10pm and taking it in turns to get up early. It all unexpectedly changed about a month ago, and DS suddenly started to sleep later (once to 7am - gasp!). Thinking about it, we cut out DS's early morning bottle at New Year (offering milk in a cup instead) - he used to insist on his bottle as soon as he woke (and got quite mad about it). A few days after we cut it out, he became much calmer in the mornings and barely wants anything to drink - maybe that's why he's started to sleep on a little. Sorry, I've rambled on, how old is your DS?.

My DS is an early bird and I have found that putting him to bed does nothing ... just makes him grouchy the next day ...
I am beginning to think that some children (like many adults) just need less sleep than others ... Unfortunately my DS has inherited his father's sleep gene and not mine!!!!!

GillW - sorry not to have mentionned any of the basics! goes to show how addled my brain is. Mt son is 19 months. He goes to bed at 7.30 and is asleep within about five minutes. He sleeps in the day usually for 1.5 to 2 hours after lunch.

Azure - its interesting what you say about the bottle. DS is gasping for his milk as soon as we come downstairs - even the tiniest diversion will send him into a rage. He drinks 8oz in about one minute.

hi buttercup, sounds like you've got a lark alright! My ds has lark-ish tendencies, not as bad as yours though. It is a killer though isn't it! I suspect that if he has always been an early waker, then a later bedtime will probably be futile. I think it might be worth experimenting with an earlier one, just shifting it gradually - I know it sounds wierd, I haven't tried it myself (ds goes to bed at 7 which is the earliest we can physically get him there) but I have read about it as a potential strategy.

Apart from that the only option is to get a bit tough in the mornings. Try imagining that the 5am bottle is in effect a 'night feed' that he has become accustomed to - maybe that needs to be phased out? If you replace it with water maybe that could be left in the cot with him. Then you could try gradually postponing the time you will get him up.

My rule is that I treat waking up before 6.30 as though it is the middle of the night - if he doesn't settle back to sleep I will go in briefly and soothe him, sometimes that will get him back off briefly - but I try to never get him up before 6.30. My ds doesn't have the morning bottle thing though (he's 15 months) - he's quite happy to wait half an hour or more before breakfast and has never been a big morning drinker.

Good luck. I loathe early wakings with a vengeance too!

What you say about the milk could be a pointer. When does he have his last drink at night? I just wonder if he's waking because he's thirsty/his throat is dry, as I've found our DS will wake early if we're in a dry atmospehre, but will then go back to sleep after having a drink. Perhaps you could give him his morning drink upstairs, in his bedroom (or even leave some water where he can get it himself?) and see if he'll resettle back to sleep afterwards? It's not a total solution as he'd still be waking you up early, but at least it should let you get back to sleep again for a bit.

Otherwise I'd perhaps look at whether he's having too much of his total sleep in the daytime. I can't really speak for 19 month olds as we haven't got to that point yet, but my 17 month old, who's another one who doesn't seem to need much sleep overall, only has half to one hour after lunch, and goes to bed about 8, waking again about 7. Perhaps you could try pushing the start of his after lunch nap (and even lunch too) back a bit, but not letting him nap for quite so long, so you wake him after lunch at about the time he's waking now. Then he might just be more tired at night and actually sleep for longer?

I wouldn't rule out putting his bedtime back - but I'd give time for any change to take effect. We don't necessarily wake later if we have one late night, so we shouldn't expect them to do the same. I suspect some of the stories about a later bedtime reducing sleep may just be that it hasn't been given enough time to work.

Looking on the bright side, one point in your favour is that this is a good time of year to try adjusting wake-up time, as at least it is still dark outside. I think it'd be harder to do if it was already light at the time he was waking.

I started giving my ds (15mths) his bottle after breakfast at around 10months, mainly because he didn't eat much breakfast if he had it first It worked a treat - he eats his breafast, we play for a bit then around 9am he has a bottle. that way, he eats a big breakfast, rather than filling up on milk. And after 1/2hr or so, theres always room for milk