if you and DP both do bedtimes do you follow the same routine?

[bethdivine]

DS is 18mo. He's never been a great sleeper and as he was BF till 12mo, would only settle for me at bedtime and during the night. since he's been having a bedtime btl, DH has been able to do bedtime too and we pretty much shared them. When I say DS has never been a great sleeper, I mean he'd never settle without a BF, would never self-settle and I worked hard for so long helping him to self-settle. CC not for us, so I spent ages sitting by the cot every night, and eventually he got it...until I discovered that in his joy of doing bedtimes, DH was letting DS fall asleep in his arms after his bottle, and only putting him in the cot whilst fast asleep.

So bedtimes have become something I really dread again as DS wouldn't settle in his cot awake and it was really stressful. So for the last week, DH has done all the bedtimes, making sure DS goes in his cot awake. It took me so long to teach him this and of course there was always a set-back through illness, teething etc. that I can't face going through this again. It's actually working really well, took him 20m to fall asleep first night, grumbling, to now asleep in 10m. (starting to think I should have put this in an AIBU to make DH do bedtime thread?!!)

Anyway, this is long and rambling, but I was just wondering who does bedtime in your house, do you and DP share them between you, do you follow the same routine if doing them separately, or do you just both chip in?

Oooh, I know how frustrated you must be. We had 3 days of hell with screaming training to get DS (then 4.5m) off dummy related sleep problems. 2 weeks later, caught DH shoving the dummy in at 6.30am so he could get lay-ins at the weekend!!!

But in answer, we share bed-times.

DH generally does weekends to give me a break since, as he is the full time worker, he's not often home before bed-time during the week. But sometimes he gets home at a good time and does it then too! Ahhhh, bless. I think its because DH really misses DS during the week.

DS is nearly 7m now and we follow the same basic routine, tea, door bouncer (loves his bouncy time), bath, bottle, bed. But DH definitely does different bathtime (more "swimming" etc) and has different music in the room for bottle and bed, and I think I do more cuddles between the bottle/bed and things like that.

oh thanks, I'm sure we do different stuff you see, - i actually think I'm more fun at bathtime as DH tries for it to be wind-down time, but I feel as long as we stick to the same order with things then DS is old enough now to know mum and dad do things differently.

I'm sure that's the case. Its the activities that are important I think, as long as each of you is consistent in your own way, and you follow the activites/orders the same.

For example, we have had pretty much the same routine for DS since he was about 6wks. The obvious bath, bottle, bed thing that is. At around 14 weeks we took him swimming for the first time. It was a really small, warm, private pool in a hotel and he obviously though it was the bath and even though we made it lots of "fun", he tried to fall asleep in my arms as we carried him back up to the room afterwards!!!

oh that is so sweet!

We share bedtimes and pretty much have always followed the same routine, although ours are now 7 and 4 so routines have evolved over time and when DD was being breastfed DH tended to concentrate on DS. Now it is pretty much, ensure they both get undressed,clothes in basket and into bath. Go back 10 mins later, check they are clean, if not make them wash, out of bath, dry DD, supervise DS's teeth, do DD's teeth. Then read DD a story while DS reads to himself. Goodnight kisses, and tell DS what time to turn his light off.