no routine

[Detta]

my 3 month old baby is in no routine whatsoever! there seems to be no logic attached to when he sleeps/feeds etc. he's breast fed and quite heavy (15 1/2 lbs) for his age. can anyone give me some advice? GF routines far too strict for my lifestyle ie they don't fit in around my other child's school run etc etc. sorry about disjointed message but trying to feed and type at same time!

I think I would start with trying to introduce a bedtime routine, eg bath, feed, cuddle, to bed. And stick to doing this at a consistent time each night. We did this with our DS who sounds similar (weight, breastfed etc) at about this age. We gave him his bath at 10 pm then the rest of it and then went to bed ourselves. Then gradually brought this forward. I'm not sure I'd recommend this - maybe start off from a more reasonable time.

Then the usual advice of any nightfeeds etc should be minimal interaction, low lights etc. And see if this starts to help a pattern emerge. I personally don't think there is much info about starting a routine beyond the superstrict GF - so you have my sympathies.

I agree with Bozza. Start with a fixed bedtime and take it from there.

BTW GF can be used as a kind of base for a more flexible routine. Some of her ideas, like putting baby down for a nap before they get tired (usually 2 hours after getting up) seem to just work. However her idea that the routine must run from 7am to 7pm is just twaddle.

I agree that GF can be a good base (think of it like a pizza, some like pepperoni, others anchovies...). Sticking to it rigidly & getting all stressed (unless your baby is like that anyway, then you're at his mercy! ) is no way to embrace motherhood IMO. picking a bedtime and trying to have some kind of nap routine in the day is a good idea - my dd never had more than a few minutes during the day for the first 8 or 9 mths and I got very frazzled. good luck

I agree with introducing a nighttime routine - I used to bath my dd from very early at the same time as my ds, then fed her while he had his night time milk and a story and they both were put to bed at the same time - you could then try and introduce some kind of a feeding routine that fits into your day. This will take time but by gradually adjusting his times he will soon adjust to new routines.

Detta if you decide to do this, do let us know how you get along. Like I said at 3 months DS had no routine, by 6 months he had a bedtime of 7.45 pm, would wake 0 - 2 times a night, and woke up between 6 and 7 for early morning milk, breakfast at 8 ish, morning nap, afternoon nap etc.

Another vote for bedtime routines. Also they are quite satisfying because they make you feel as if the end is in sight and, when I couldn't think of another thing to do to entertain the baby I could go through the routine on autopilot. The second thing we introduced was GF-style nap two hours after ds woke up. Mind you, it didn't work miracles. He still woke up at night until 8months.

The bedtime routine is about the only routine we have with DD, now 10 months! We started some form of routine around 3 months. Just a nice relaxing bath, cuddle with daddy and a bottle of milk. To start with she always fell asleep drinking and went in her cot asleep. Just before Christmas she decided that at 9 months she wanted to fall asleep on her own - poor daddy doesn't get quite as long a cuddle now

DD still doesn't have a fixed routine during the day, although her meals are roughly around the same time of day - normally at our meal times. Whilst at bursery I think her routine is a lot more structured but she copes well with different ones. This works better for us - our day time is so different each day!

I am NOT a GF fan at all, for all the reasons you give, but we always had a bedtime routine, with both children. Bath, supper, story, feed, sleep. We started at roughly the same time each night - but it didn't matter if we were 15/30 mins later starting than usual as once the routine kicked in they responded to it.
Routines are great if they are flexible, but like someone else said it is often portrayed as GF or nothing, when there are loads of middle ways!

Just to echo what everyone else says I think you have to start with bedtime. I have found both times that my DS1 & 2 weren't ready for a routine until some time between 3 and 6 months. We usually go for a couple of daytime naps, one in the morning, one in the afternoon and bedtime about 7.30/8.00pm. I have found that when I started them on solids the routine became more predictable as they would be eating at the same times as us.

Not a GF fan but I do believe in finding a routine that suits you and your family and believe it is possible. All the best.

Thank you so much for all your advice and support. The nicest thing is to know that I'm not the only one! The bedtime routine seems to be working, only 1 wake up in the past 3 nights... hurrah! Having a nap as I type ... (DS not me!). Long may it continue.