Which first? Move 6 month old into his own room or solve sleep problem? Desperate, please help!

[forevared]

Our very nearly 6 month old is about to go into his own room but we have a dilemma.
He wakes 5, 6 sometimes 7 times a night and we really need to use some form of sleep training. Haven't decided whether to use NCSS or progressive waiting, but that 's not really the issue.

Basically, should we
a) move him to his own room, wait till he's used to being in a new environment then start the sleep training.
b) start the sleep training and move him to his own room once that's sorted.
c) do both at the same time so he learns completely new sleep associations.

I haven't had more than 4 hours sleep over the course of a night for nearly 6 weeks and I'm starting to get really down. I also can't think straight and would appreciate any advice. Thanks in advance.

We had this with DS1 - we moved him to his own room and sorted the sleep out at the same time. Decided that it was easier all round, we would get our sleep sooner, and DS1 wouldn't have to go through two changes (room and sleep training) straight after each other)

We did CC (not to everyone's cup of tea I know) - but he was sorted within 3 nights (actually didn't wake the first night after he'd finally settled after waking hourly at night since birth - and he's still a fab sleeper now)

what faq said

my ds started sleeping better when he moved out of our room and in with his sister. We put it off cos didn't think it was fair on her but gave up waiting for him to improve at about 8 months. Moved him and he improved immediately. - hope same goes for you!

Also what FAQ said.

DD (one of my DTs) was moved into a separate room at 6 months to do sleep training, although during the sleep training we did always have someone sleeping in the same room as her to reassure her ever so often if she was crying.

We hired a night nanny to do this as with having DS1 and DS2 too I didn't think I could do it myself (would give in too easily and feed her / pick her up etc). Night nanny never picked DD up, but checked she was ok, checked she had her Blankie, and then left her again for another few mins.

It took 11 nights though, which was a record for this night nanny [proud of my rebel DD emoticon].

DD is now sometimes waking up at night again mind you (7 weeks later), although will always go back to sleep on her own unless something actually wrong (leaked nappy etc).

How much does a night nanny cost?

We paid £100 per night, plus £100 to the agency (we used this lot). We didn't expect it to be ELEVEN NIGHTS THOUGH!!! However I was so desperate I didn't bother to read the whole info on website and we did also pay petrol costs which amounted to £240, so all in all it was quite costly...

It is nice though knowing the responsibility is taken out of your hands. The first night our nanny came here DH and I were all giggly at the excitement of having some sleep (DS1 and DS2 were sleeping pretty well).

Cheers Egg, will have a think about that!

forevared, i am in exactly same boat with my 7 mth old. i bought ncss yesterday, flicked through it thinking omg don't you think i haven't tried all these things in 7 mths of no sleep! then i just thought i would try rocking to sleep and putting down awake, instead of breastfeeding to sleep and it Worked!! twice!!. I didn't do it for the rest of the nights 6 wakings cos i was too knackered to get out of bed so just bf to sleep and co slept, ... But anyway.. I think you should try the NCSS first while he is in your room then move him later.

Egg - What do they do for £100 per night?

move him first as it might make a difference - when I moved DS (or rather myself - he got our bedroom and we got a sofa bed ) he immiediately started sleeping MUCH better. he was about 10 months i think

I do agree with dwayne too - DS woke a lot at this age (6-9 months), it was all teething and I knew he needed me because he was miserable. also growth spurts, and the developmental thing of trying to get on the move disturb their sleep too

crap when you're knackered though, I know. I was a total zombie at this point, especially with DD getting up in the night too. it's gruesome

I understand where you're you're coming from DwayneDibbley (love the name) and I thought this at first aswell, but this has now gone on for nearly 2 months and he's pretty much regular as clockwork. Wakes exactly 30 minutes or 1 hour after falling asleep each time, so I think there's more going on here and I'm sure it's because we've taught him the wrong sleep associations, rocking him to sleep before putting him in his cot.

When he wakes I try and let him be for a while as he doesn't cry and is not distressed, just lies there chewing on his grobag and mumbling to himself. I always hope he might just settle himself back to sleep. However, he never does and after a while he does start getting fed up and whingy, so then I get up to him. The moment I pick him up he settles and starts to drift off again. Doesn't want feeding, or any other interaction. However, I can't just pop him straight back in the cot and have to let him actually fall asleep in my arms. That's why I'm pretty sure it's the wrong association he has rather than a specific need.
If he goes through a teething period then it's a different kettle of fish and I can recognise the difference in behaviour at night, so it's not that either, though good suggestion.
I just need to do either the NCSS or progressive waiting or something similar and see if that works.

Dwayne - that's all very well - but if, like my DS1, your child has ALWAYS had disturbed nights and hasn't slept for more than 1hr at a time since birth........(and that was with co-sleeping and BFing in bed....!)

zwiggy - they don't actually do very much for £100 a night and it is nothing you can't do yourself. Just that they have steely determination and you feel justified in ignoring the crying and going back to sleep as someone else is dealing with it .

I would move him and see how things go. My DD3 was a really poor sleeper despite me doing exactly the same as I did with my other 2 who always slept well.

We moved her into her own room at about 5.5 months and she slept much better. She has still woken once or twice a night since then, but it's better than the 4 or 5 times it was when she was in with us!

fwiw, my doctor who i really trust says, pretty much all babies sleep better when they get to 9-10 months and so whatever anyone is doing at the time they put it down to that

I would tackle both together, new room = new smell/sound/vibrations and settle on an approach that will be doable for weeks not just that week.

You could start now by telling him it is sleep time when you put him to bed and when he wakes in the night and keep saying it?

try patting/running your hand down his tummy and saying it rather than picking him up as he seems to need your presence so try to get him to accept your verbal responses as comfort...if that makes sense

it is more like the things he associates with sleeping aren't quite working correctly and that does lead to sleeping problems SK

SM - so you think that a baby being totally unable to settle themselves, and if BF to sleep the mother is unable to put the baby down (or they wake up and you have to start the process again) meaning that the mother is (quite literally) tied to the bed at night time - I coldn't get up to go and have a wee without him waking up - and even once asleep the said baby wouldn't sleep for more than 60 minutes a time- and this had been going on since birth that it isn't a sleep problem??

I'm not saying that CC is the only way - didn't use it for my other 2 children (DS2 I didn't need to do anything - he slept through from 3 weeks of his own accord and scared the living daylights out of me ), DS3 I suppose it was a "mild" version of CIO (in that I discovered purely through chance when bathing the older 2 that left for 10/15 minutes he woul d then drop off to sleep quite happily and have a decent sleep). He didn't sleep through the night (DS3) until he was about 7 months old though).

I know that they all sleep differently - but a baby that can literally never go to sleep on their own/sleep for more than one hour at any point in the day, and for who even being carried in a sling wasn't good enough (he had to be suckling on the breast or he cried) it certainly was a sleep problem.

Interestingly as soon as the sleep was sorted at 6 months 3 days he turned into a lovely placid little boy who was more than happy to play on the floor on his own and who hardly ever cried - poor little mite was obviously absolutely shattered on a permanent basis.