Newborn really unsettled in the evening - help!

[Thankyouandgoodnight]

DS is 10 days old and naps well during the day (feeding 3 hourly and sleeps in between but does have awake periods too - just not for very long) and night (feeds 2 hourly and sleeps in between - no awake periods). In the evening it's a nightmare - nothing is right and we've tried, swaddling, leaving him be, cuddling him in all positions known to man, feeding him, winding him, changing his nappy etc and he's just really unsettled until about 10:30pm.

Can anyone shed any light?? I think he's tired but can't get himself to sleep but I can't seem to do anything to help.

Are you BF? I found that dd2 snacked int he evening rather than taking a good feed. The reason I ask is that I didnt BF dd1 and she always settled well in the evening. It is easier with BF though as so much easier if they only want to snack - no wast that way.

I am BF but he'll take a couple of gulps and then pull off screaming but then immediately rooting for more. I am very confused!

Try him on the other side if he does that. That always worked with my dd2. She had a preference for my left side - she did right up until I stopped feeding - just be careful though as I now have 2 odd sized breasts! lol

Evenings were always tricky with both of mine for about the first 6 weeks - think its pretty common. Exhausting, frustrating, annoying, but common
I've heard various reasons:

• breastmilk being less rich (although i think I've seen this dismissed as bollox by bf-experts on here)
• overtiredness after stimulation of the day - can't yet learn to switch off.
• a sensible evolutionary development (early eve = lots of preditors around = keep mum close, using tears if nec)

Fwiw, we cluster fed (ie just kept doing little feeds, kept things darkish to start getting the night and day thing sorted, and walked around watching quiet tv in a dark room a lot. I also noticed that when they did crash, if I went st to sleep too, I'd get a good stretch of sleep in - they seemed to tire themselves out. Thank God [smile[

I guess colic is the other explanation - does that start this early? Someone who knows more aboout that one will be along soon I'm sure.

Sounds like you're doing a fab job, btw.

Oh yes, I agree with that! The first six weeks, this was us. I would just be doing everything on a loop - feed, wind, check nappy, rock, feed, etc, and he would be so upset, we feared colic too. But a year on I can safely say it was because he was a newborn baby! Also during the day I relied on going for walks a lot when he was really unsettled, and you can't really do this at night. It will pass and you'll all get in a good nighttime rhythm, but I sooo recognise this! Good luck!

So, so common, from all the advice I was given on here this time last year.

It's normal and expected, exp if BFing. It's important to just go with the flow, let your DS feed as much as he wants and do whatever gets him settled. Sofa, remote (and subtitles, in this household!), easy food and feed, feed, feed.

For most people it passes in a few weeeks (will feel like a lifetime just now but I promise, take it day at a time and it will be over in a blink).

Thank you so much for your lovely messages and thoughts. Your support is very much appreciated!

I am going to have to jiggle things a wee bit so that he's not feeding while I'm trying to put DD to bed. I expect that will have knock on effects which may hopefully work out for the better!

how you going... fwiw dd now 5 weeks old and the evenings have got bit better in last 2 weeks..but just goign with it.;;keeping calm, lots of food and lots of cuddles seemed to work ( our worst nights were when we had a misguided early attempt to get her to bed early in the evening ...)

That's good to know! Still the same but he's only 2 weeks old. It looks like he is POSSIBLY going to be sleeping half an hour earlier than normal

We had that too. It started getting better around 4 weeks and gradually improved. We started quite early on having a bedtime routine starting around 5pm of feed, bath, feed and then attempt bed by 7pm. It took quite a few wks to get it sorted but she is now 12 wks and has been sleeping in the evening from 7pm-11pm (then feed) for a while now - saying that, she went ballstic last night and cried for 2hrs so there are still blips!
Try not to let your baby get overtired if possible as that definitely adds to the crying. It will improve!

This sounds familiar. At 9 weeks I can say that things seemed to have settled down and a more regular pattern has developed including dd being calmer in the evenings and falling asleep at a similar time each night. Hope things are going ok with you- don't worry!

Pudding25 - agree with the over tired crying - very hard to get them to sleep when thay are too tired / over stimulated.

Yep, sounds like a normal newborn. Have you tried an Amby babynest? Not essential by any means but loads of MNetters swear by them

I know exactly how you feel! Frustrating isn't it? Leon is just 5 weeks old and will not sleep... saying that he is sound at the moment after a 8oz feed but first time he has taken a full feed and slept! Keep going hun you are doing well xx

i slung my ds2 which meant he was close by (see evolution thingy above) and easy to jiggle plus I could feed/bathe DS1 once he was quiet...

DD1 was like this it lasted for a few weeks and the only thing to stop her crying was DH dancing around the room with her. He was usually singing a little rhyme like "my arms are getting stronger but I'm wearing a runway in this carpet" over and over again.
He even took her for a drive some evening.

Hope your LO settles down soon.