waking every 1/2 hr

[Mommymommy]

my 10month old wakes every 1/2 hour but doesn't seem to want anything, she refuses flatly to take milk and will occasionally have a drink of juice, as soon as her dummy is put back in she goes back off for 1/2 hour and then wakes up all over again. She finally wakes for the day about 4.30am every morning but as soon as i bring her downstairs she goes back to sleep until about 6.30am, she won't even settle in our bed. She doesn't sleep much during the day, she has 2 30 minute naps and i won't let her have a sleep after 2pm in the hope that she will eventually sleep through. I also have a very active 4 year old so hence i always feel as though i'm half asleep. If we try controlled crying it only works once and she sleeps for about and hour instead of 30mins, i also admit i am a softie and don't like hearing her cry so this is a last option, but i am getting desperate for some sleep.

Could she possibly be cold? We had this with DS - not quite every half and hour, but 4 or 5 times a night, and although he seemed warm enough, and his bedding was adequate for the temperature according to the literature, he did sleep better when we swapped his sleeping bag for a fleecy sleeper AND a duvet.

Adjusted heating (turned it down as we thought she may be too warm) about 3 weeks ago and everything was fine for a week she woke up once a night then went back to her old routine,really at a loss what to try next

What happens when she wakes? Is she screaming? Whimpering? Have you tried delaying going to her to see what happens?

HI MM, we had a very similar with DS (16 months) - he's always been a very wakeful child and I spent the first year of his life in a permanent state of sleep deprivation. In particularly we had about a month when he was waking up every half hour (around same age as yours). Came to the conclusion that we had to get rid of the dummy because that was the reason he was waking and he couldn't find it to put it back. After psyching ourselves up for it, what do you know but the very night we decided to go 'cold turkey' without dummy he went to sleep and only woke up once! Anyway, this may be a bit obvious but I really, firmly believe that sometimes (like adults) they just get into habits, whether it be waking up at 2am on the dot or waking up every half hour and they can't get themselves out of the habit.

I know that's not much consolation but if you could just 'break the habit' maybe by doing controlled crying again (do every time she wakes up for however long she cries) or consider getting rid of the dummy, you might find she stops.

It's taken me a long time to come to deal with the random nature of my DS sleep patterns!
SOrry I can't give any really good suggestions but I really understand what it's like.
Good luck

Can she put her own dummy back in? My ds goes to sleep with his dummy clipped to his pjs so he can always find it and put it in and he sleeps through really well. When he was about 7months he did have a short but horrific stage of very frequent wakings like this. I think you may have to go the cc route for the sake of your own health and sanity. I would stop offering her drinks in the night (I presume you don't turn the light on or anything?) so you don't wake her up any more than necessary. I think I'd do one check when she first wakes (wait five-ten mins or so to see if goes back to sleep then check for wet/cold etc then either leave her and see what happens or do cc with going back after ten mins, then fifteen then twenty etc. Habits like this are soul destroying for you IME.

When she wakes she starts shouting me and then if i don't go straight away she starts crying and stands up in her cot. She does have a dummy and can put it in ok during the day but seems to want us to do it during the night, i don't turn the main light on but have a very very dim light which i use as her bedroom is pitch black, i may have to let her go 'Cold Turkey' with the dummy but it doesn't help when i have a husband who will cave in after 5 minutes and go to her no matter what i say even though it is mostly me who deals with her when he is both at work and at home.

I think you need to sort out what you do with your dh otherwise it is pointless. Read up on sleep, The NCT Book of Sleep has suggestions as does Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems, then come up with a strategy you can agree with. If not, then I strongly suggest you let your dh do all the night wakings while you put some earplugs in and get some shuteye. I'm perfectly serious!

I'm getting to that point. He always pretends to be asleep, i know he's not because his breathing is different he must think that i came down in the last shower.

You say he always goes to her after five minutes - well let him. YOU pretend to be asleep!

I do sometimes, but you know when men say they have flu when it is a cold well just cos he's tired and been up a few times he's suffering from exhaustion. He is a good and i don't mean to knock him but he does things to make it easier for him at the time and doesn't seem to think about what it means for me who deals with them most of the time and can't understand why i go mad at him when he knocks them out of their routine.

Well, it's up to you, of course, but it depends how much you want to solve this problem. Personally, I would be ill with tiredness if it was happening to me, but if you can cope then carry on. But I really would suggest you come up with a strategy between the two of you. And if your dh won't help, then leave it to him. I suspect a couple of nights of constant wakeups might make him more cooperative very quickly. I think the problem with babies that won't sleep is that you get so tired you can't face making any changes. I know I felt like that. But it is so worth trying to tackle the behaviour as the joy of going to bed knowing you won't wake up until morning is just FANTASTIC!

Just one point, I don't mean to critisize, but try not to give her juice at night. Alot of mums don't realise how acidic it is. I personally, did not give anything other than, milk or water to my boys, until they were drinking out of an open top cup. However, working in Child Dental Health, I am a bit OTT about it, but thats proberbly because I see the end results.

Thanks, i think i will feign illness with tiredness on his days off and see how he copes, he'll try and rope me in though by huffing, puffing and sighing and banging about. But that's a general man thing i think. I don't think you're over the top Jac34 with dental health. I'll give it a try just a drink of water during the night. I tried controlled crying last night but it was so hard, she woke up in a very grumpy mood this morning at 4.30 but seems to have come round a bit and is giving me a cuddle as i type. Going without sleep is so hard though, as really for me to feel good i need at least 8 hours.

My ds went through a stage of waking 3 or 4 times a night really destressed, he was about a year old and we tried the controlled crying, it didn't seem to work until someone asked if there was anything different in the room. We have recently put up a shelf and put all his stuffed animals on it. That night we took all the animals off and he slept through again, bliss.