Routines - do they help to settle or not and how do they comply with SIDS advice?

[Gangle]

I've asked this question before when DS was about 10 weeks and was relieved when everyone said it was too early for a routine, much to my relief as I find it impossible to put DS in a strict routine as he eats and sleeps when he wants. However, DS is now 16 weeks and I'm wondering if following more of a routine would help settle him for naps and in the evening as over the last few weeks he has got progressively worse at settling such that he no longer naps during the day and fights sleep all evening. I do the bath and cuddles bit but then, because of the SIDS advice, always put DS in the moses basket or buggy in the same room as us until we go to bed when we take him up with us. What I don't get is that if you follow a routine of settling baby in his own room, how does that comply with the SIDS advice which says to keep him in the same room as you at all times, even during daytime naps? I had previously decided to keep DS in same room until 6 months then start a routine of settling him in his own room but is leaving it another 8 weeks just going to let DS slip into worse and worse habits? At a complete loss over how to approach it.

No idea, but wll follow with interset as I have a 10 week old DS who currently is with me 24/7 - never sleeps/ naps in a different room.

does he really have to be with you all the time? Not sure if i am reading this right but i had never thought that. i have a DD who is 10 weeks and for the last three weeks or so we have been putting her to bed at 7 in our room and leaving the baby monitor on. I also leave her to nap at the bottom of the garden in her pram and mostly hear her when she wakes up.

Interested to see what someone with more worldly wisdom than me thinks.

is that new advice?

When ds was a baby the advice was for baby to sleep in parents' room until 6 months but was never advised that baby should be with parents 24/7.

Personally my ds was in a routine from as early as I can remember,and I found it worked for us.

Obviously by bedtime routine it didn't mean things had to happen at a certain time, more in a certain order, iyswim? so that if the routine was the same you could essentially do it any time of the evening and he would settle ok.

He went into his own room for naps when he was about 4 wks old and into his own room overnight from about 9 weeks but obviously that's personal preference. I found though that he wouldn't settle downstairs with us with tv etc on in the same way he settled in his room. Even when he was about 3 wks old I would put him in moses basket in our room.

I've always interpreted it as being in the parents bedroom. My two always napped downstairs in their rocker chair on on the settee when young anyway. Well, I say 'two', but DS never really napped.

Routine can mean anything really. There is no global routine that all parents must follow. You just do what suits you, and suits your baby. And all babies are different.

I remember both my two becoming unsettled for about a week or so at 4 months old. I assumed it was a growth spurt.

My ds is 21 weeks and naps downstatirs during the day in his chair or the pushchair. He goes to bed in his cot in our room at 7pm and is there on his own until we go to bed a few hours later. TBH i hadn't really thought about him being on his own with regards to the SIDS advice but we can hear him from downstairs so can get to him quickly if he needs us.
I personally wouldn't worry about it, best advice I could give is to go with the flow and do what you are most comfortable with.

You could still have a routine but keep him in the same room as you though eh? Maybe helping him to nap at the same times every day would help him settle at night but he could still go to sleep in the moses basket. When he is 6 months all you need to change about the routine is the location of his sleep, so maybe he will be so used to sleeping at that time every night that the transition won't be so difficult???

I followed the advice in my baby book - not sure if its generally accepted, but it said to keep the baby with you 24/7 for the first 3 months. At 3 months I started to put LO upstairs after her last feed and, increasingly, for day time naps (though at 8mo she's still not keen on napping in her cot during the day! - maybe this is why!) She stayed in our room overnight until 6 months, then moved into her own. She didn't have any real problems adjusting at any stage. I agree that there is a discrepancy between this and the guidelines outlined by certain routines. You'll have to decide how you feel and do what seems to meet you LOs needs - if he isn't sleeping, it may be worth experimenting to see if a quieter room would help? Good luck!