Childcare nightmares

[Bob345]

My LO is just 2 years old. Has always been a high sleep need child. Currently needs 14 hours and when with me sleeps for two hours in the day and 12 at night. Has just started nursery where they only have nap time from 1-2pm. Their sleep policy states that they will not try and force a child to sleep or wake a sleeping child up and that they adhere to each child’s individual sleep needs…
My LO struggles to be awake for more than 6 hours, and usually naps at 11.30 for two hours.
Their nap time is 1pm so I knew we would have some troubles when she started but thought we could adjust and seeing as their policy says what it does I thought it would be OK they would put her down earlier. They won’t. I’ve spoken with them about it everyday this week and they have still put her down at 1pm. Due to daylight savings she has woken up at 5am everyday this week so was awake for 8 hours before they napped. Slept for 45mins each day which I thought was weird but you know. New setting and all. Then today I asked if they could try and put her down earlier again as the deprivation is catching up to her now and she’s very emotional and easily upset. Said they tried and said she wouldn’t so fair enough. Then said they got her to sleep at 1.30. I saw on the app she woke up at 2 again. Then find out today that they woke her up…
I get that they have ratios they need to keep and stuff and so a staff member with sleeping children when others are awake is an issue but it seems so cruel to wake a toddler up who clearly needs the sleep? I feel so guilty she has to go there as it is and now shes not getting what she needs it’s just heartbreaking.
has anyone else been through similar? Will she just adapt to this?

This is just one of the downsides of group care, you have to fit with the routine.

A childminder might be able to be a bit more flexible, and a day nursery might have a longer nap slot, but essentially it will be the same issue eg there's a routine and it won't exactly fit yours.

I'd suggest moving your home routine closer to the nursery routine, so maybe do 1-3pm nap at home, later to bed in the evening so you're doing 8-8 rather than waking at 5am. Then it won't be such a shock on nursery days.

Unfortunately in any group setting whether it's for young or old you will never get an individual schedule. It is a worry as a parent but unfortunately that is the reality . And it seems you weren't happy with childminder either ? It is hard to make these decisions about childcare but take comfort that the majority of children adapt and cope .

My Dds nursery had mats in the corner of the room so the children could nap whenever they chose, Dd did initially have short afternoon naps at nursery, but if she was in for a morning session she wouldn't nap until she got home. I think if a child needs to sleep then there is little point trying to get them to do anything else imo

I remember quite vividly comingbhome from nursery and begging my mum not to send me back. That was all to do with nap time, everybody had to sleep after lunch and I never could, so I got told off. I'm talking 1960's but I hated it

I thought this too.
its is really tough Op, I have a child who is the opposite. Low sleep needs, she sleeps through the night, 7pm to 6.30am which works for our schedule at home. She is sn awful day time napper - 20 min tops. This wouldn’t work for us in a nursery as she would be too disruptive so we have a nanny instead. We pay more but it’s one to one care around her current needs, this will change as she gets older which works as our nanny will be retiring once she starts preschool at 3! (Local private school so I can do pick up and drop offs)
I feel your pain OP, I would be upset at my child being woken up.

Can you reduce work hours and just do half days

I’d move her. DS is 2.5, would sleep for 2.5-3 hrs at nap time at home if I let him but I cap his nap at 2hrs as otherwise bedtime gets quite late.

At nursery naptime is from 12 and he usually has minimum of 1.5hrs