3 month old impossible to settle in the evenings

[Gangle]

DS, 12 weeks, will only sleep in our arms. We've tried letting him fall asleep in our arms then putting him in moses basket but he always wakes up, either straight away or 20 minutes later. I tried putting him to sleep in our bed and breastfeeding him until he dropped off then sneaking away which worked for a few nights until he cottoned on (he now wakes up if you sneak off). He is difficult to settle during day time naps as well although I do sometimes manage to get him into the moses basket without him waking up. The upside is that when he does finally go to sleep, for the last few days he has been sleeping through from say midnight until 7am which is fantastic. Would just be great to be able to put him to bed at say 8 or 9pm and have a bit of an evening though this is probably asking for too much and we should just be grateful that he seems to be sleeping through. Any tips?

Hi. We found the best way was to establish good solid routine - try to keep the him awake as much as poss for the two hours prior to when you want him to go to bed. Have bath/book type thing, and then final feed - we found it also helped with our DD if she was fairly hungry so she filled herself right up. Initially we put her in Moses basket in the living room, next to us on the sofa - but didn't wait til she was asleep, but just drowsy and full. We found she dropped off knowing we were nearby, and when she woke up we tried not to pick her up but patted/stroked her til she went back to sleep. Then we carried her up to our room in basket when we went to bed. After a couple of weeks of this we found she was happy to be put down awake upstairs in her Moses basket, and three months later she is still self-settling after final feed until the morning - long may it continue altho' I live in fear of 1st illness/tooth as that's when they say it all goes to pot!! Hope this helps...

I agree with Midge that having a bit of a routine helps. I am not majorly strict but after reading the Baby Whisperer did get more conscious about making sure dd had daytime naps at regular intervals and realised that she got tired much more quickly than I thought. To start with she really fought them, but seems to be getting much better. Initially I was putting her down in the carrycot, but have found she is much happier in a sling, which although a bit uncomfortable for me means she will sleep without a major batttle. I am still working on getting her to nap longer as she tends to only do about 45 mins, but 1 step at a time. Anyway since she has been napping better in the day have seen definite improvement in her sleep. She has an Amby (best money I ever spent) and will quite happily go in there after bath, feed routine and drop off after a few swings. I think having somewhere different to sleep at night helps as well so she almost knows that is where she does longer sleep. She is down by about 6 to 6.30pm , dreamfeed at 11pm but still waking at 5.30am, which is my next project . I would recommend a look at the Baby Whisperer website even if you don't want to get the book as like MN has a lot of tips esp. about sleep. If you have any tips for me about how to get dd sleeping until 7am would love to hear them !

CathyJo - I am following this too and she is sleeping till 7am however she's not going sleep till around 7:30-8pm on a good day so not much differnce really!!!

My DS is 13 weeks, and it was a real lightbulb moment when I read in Gina Ford that small babies can usually only last about 2 hours awake. Now after about an hour and a half I watch for signs of tiredness (yawns, rubbing eyes) and then whisk him off to his cot. I get him down about 90% of the time for a morning nap and about 60% of the time for a lunchtime nap which suits me - rest of the time he naps in his pram if we're out and about. He sometimes takes an afternoon nap, sometimes doesn't depending on how much sleep he's had at lunchtime.

I find it is much better to put him down awake but tired during the day - putting him down asleep usually meant that he recognised the shift from my comfy arms to his flat big cot and woke up. I use a dummy sometimes during the day to help him drift off (he usually sucks for a minute or two, spits it out and then quickly drifts off) but we don't use it at night (he is fed just before bed at night so I guess he gets his sucking comfort that way)

In the evening, it has been more hit and miss but is getting much better. I'm with Midge on the important of routine - we just doggedly stick to the same routine every night however badly it has gone the night before and he is getting much better at it: big feed, bath and massage with dad, feed again in darkened nursery then put in cot while very sleepy but eyes half open. If he falls asleep in my arms then he will wake when put in his cot so I don't let him get that far. If he cries full-on then I always pick him up quickly and offer more food, but sometimes he just cries intermittently in a tired way and I might just pat his tummy or hum a lullaby, or leave him alone depending on how much he is whimpering. He doesn't whimper for more than 2-3 mins usually now and the last two nights he has gone down first time with just a big sigh and no whimpering at all! I try to get him down by 7.15-7.30 but sometimes if DH is a bit late home then it is closer to 8pm as DH does the bath.

This routine is loosely based on Gina Ford. A lot of my friends swear by her which is why I have the book but I don't have the patience or inclination to use her routine during the day and want my baby to not need a really rigid daytime routine. But the evening routine - feed, bath, feed, bed - works really well for us. My main/only rule at night is that he stays in his nursery - so if he needs singing to, or walking, or cuddling before he'll drift off then we do all that in the darkened nursery. That way he knows it is nighttime and different to daytime naps where I might just bring him back downstairs or put him in the sling if he isn't going down. He seems to have got the hang of the fact that it is nighttime now. So routine is the best thing I can recommend.

BTW, congrats on getting him to go until 7am. My DS did it for 2 weeks on holiday a week or so ago, but is now back to 5am-6am wakening! Grrr...

Have you got a cd with womb music on it? We found that helps with the transition to the moses basket (or cot in our case). I also sometimes put the hairdryer on just before I am about to put DD down and then can turn it off once down, though like you, we find she often wakes up after a while. If you find he is waking up at the same time after putting him down, you could stick around and try to sooth him when he stirs before he really wakes up. Great that he is sleeping till 7am!! Well done!