How to introduce a comfort toy to get 10 month old to sleep?? ANY SUGGESTIONS???

[violetsmile]

Hi,

Not sure if this is the right place to post but i guess it belongs with all the other sleep issues in a way.

DS is 10months old and has never never EVER gone to sleep without being fed or rocked to sleep (or in the car). Yes, i know it was very naughty of me to get into such bad habbits and I know in a way it's our fault for not introducing different sleep associations but ds was a bit of a screamer, very high needs, had to be on the move, wouldn't let me put him down, altogether grumpy til he got crawling so I gave in to him just to get some peace and make him remotely happy!

Anyway, he always slept beautifully at night til this past month so rocking him to sleep never bothered me as by 7pm he was out til 6:30- 7am. It's all gone tits up since he could pull up and stand. Now he wakes 3-4 times a night sobbing for one of us to go in and cuddle/ rock him back to sleep, then protests to being put back in cot so have ended up co sleeping lately, which means I'm not sleeping well!

I think it's due to separation anxiety which I know is just a phase but I am a little concerned that we've left it too late to tach him to self soothe, without going down the Controlled Crying route.

Main issue is that I am wanting to go back to work one day a week in July and ds has been offered a place in a brilliant nursery. The only problem is that, on one of our visits there, they asked about his napping habbits. I had to admit that he is either rocked to sleep to music or fed to sleep . They looked at me really shocked and all the other babies drift off to sleep laying either in their cots or just sat in their buggies. I was horrified! DS would never do this and I'm terrified to leave him now. I have about 6 weeks to break his current habbits.

Won't do CC so have introduced a soother teddy for him to get attached to. He loves it and I've kept it under my shirt all day so it should smell of me but anyone know where i go from here? Do I just give it to him at sleep times? Do I keep feeding him to sleep for now but with the soother next to him so he associates it with sleep? I'm clueless, please HELP!!!

Sorry it's long, I tend to waffle a bit!

Just to let you know, tonight dh fed him to sleep but put woody (the teddy bear soother thingy!) next to him but not sure if that was the correct thing to do.

Mine have all had comforters since they were newborns and always have them to sleep but that is a gradual process of comfort and association. If you introduce one it will still take a while before he is attached to it. You could, however, try a cot side light and music soother. We had a Vtech one hich projects a moon/stars/teddy scene onto the ceiling and plays soothing music. Ds could operate it himself from about 8 months as it has a huge button for them to press. If he woke in the night we would often just hear it coming on a few times before he went back to sleep.

Yes if you want to introduce a comforter you should always put it next to them in bed and I would try to take it everywhere you go until he becomes attached to it- i.e. give it to him in buggy/car seat etc.

Mmm, I really think my baby is odd. Anything like that would just stimulate him sooo much that he wouldn't go to sleep at all. We have tried with the winnie the pooh light show projector, which he likes to watch but just sits up and watches it for around 10 minutes, then croes for someone to go entertain him or rock him back to sleep. I'm thinking he's pretty spirited. He's bloody difficult I know that! Thank you for your advice. Do you think I've left it too late to introduce the comforter? Any advice on how to get it to be associated with comfort? Sorry, I have no clue and feel a bit out my depth with it all! I blame the sleep deprivation!

Oh sorry, you just answered that but I x posted! Thank you x

I'm thinking, when he wakes in the night tonight (which he WILL! [SAD]) I'll just go into him and do what I normally do but put the teddy bear next to his face whist I am feeding or rocking back to sleep so he builds up the association with the teddy and comfort. Am I right in thinking that, or am i barking up the wrong tree? Am I even in the right forest??!

You should sleep with it next to your skin for a couple of nights before you give it.

Ah thank you lionheart, too late for tonight but I will try again tomorrow. Bit worried it will end up smelling less than pleasant if I sleep woth it for few nights but I guess it's worth it .

And you should definitely get a duplicate one and interchange them regularly so that you can wash one etc and should the unthinkable happen and you ever LOSE THE COMFORTER (AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH), you will have a spare! BTW an unused spare one is NO USE

My ds lost his in Tesco overnight once and I swear he was in full blown grieving process- I actually thought he was depressed. He's 3! Luckily we got it back in the morning. When the lady produced it out of the box he cried, 'Sheep, my sheep, I missed you SO much'

Aww that's so sweet. Of course, not the night before when he was deeply depressed but the greeting he gave it in the morning, how cute!! You make a good point, i will deffiitely get a well used duplicate at the weekend, it is only a cheap floppy baby teddy holding aa comfort clothy bit. It's cute but not sure it will be any substitute to mummies shoulder and some warm milk but I will try!

just give it to the your ds every feed and every nap/bedtime until he attaches to it!

It does work--but make sure you have a spare.

Great, I will do all the suggestions and pray to God that even if it doesn't mean he'll sleep at nursery, then at least it may comfort him if he gets distressed while he's there. Thanks for the suggestions

I tried to give my DD a teddy from a very young age, which she never seemed to be too bothered about....she now has all of a sudden taken a shine to her cot sheet and must have one to cuddle now at bed time .....someone once suggested muslin cloths as comforters as if they go missing, they can be replaced easily. We did also end up down the controlled crying route though, which worked in three nights.
Good luck

Hi VS if you want some good advice on helping your DS to sleep without doing CC then I can recommend No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It is full of gentle methods to help your baby sleep and how to introduce new sleep associations.

Thank you pan t. I am not prepared to do the CC. I'm sure it's great for some people but my ds is very strong willed and easily gets worked up. Once he's started crying, there is no way he would just give in and go to sleep. Also, I don't see why he should have to. I got him into the bad habbits through kindness and I will get him out of them with kindness too. I couldn't bear to leave him that distressed. I will deffo look up the no cry sleep solutions you suggested. Thank you!

At some point though he is going to have to work out how to settle himself to sleep and controlled crying doesn't mean leaving them to scream for hours on end (IMO). With my dd I would settle her to bed with a kiss and a cuddle, she had her 'blanket' and then I would leave her to fall asleep with some soothing music. If she didn't settle I would set a timer and go back up every ten mins to offer comfort and reassurence that I was still there but would not get her back out of bed unless there was an actual need to (ie she had filled her nappy!) I never ever had to go back more than 3 times in a row and she has always remained an excellent sleeper who to this day sleeps well at night and has a good nap during the day (she is 2.5yrs). I think you are doing your child a massive favour if you can teach them these skills to self sooth and sleep well from an early age. The baby whisperer by tracy hogg offers useful advice as well! XxX

I was in the same situation as you and I can second the recommendation for the no cry sleep solution.

I have successfully managed to introduce a favourite toy (a lovey) to my dd. It was a matter of offering her a few things and then letting her choose her favourite. She did have a strange attraction to her pink coat and gets very upset when I take it off her but in the end she chose a piglet.

CC didn't work for us, it was painful and traumatic. It does work for some people but not everyone.

You said your ds has just learned to stand up, you know they usually have a sleepless period whenever they learn something new.

When my dd started nursery she was still being rocked of fed to sleep. The nursery staff took it in thier stride and stuck to my routine until she was comfortable and then she started sleeping there on her own without being rocked. She would see the other children asleep and just lie down no problem, this gave me the confidence to start changing things at home. I am surprised that nursery staff would be so scathing, surely they must get babies like this all the time. My dd is at a Bright Horizons nursery and they have been very supportive of my dd's sleep issues.

Don't feel bad about the habits your ds has learned, we all do the easiest thing to get our lo's to sleep, especially when it's working.

Thank you shushipaws, that was a nice reassurring post! I hope he will just be able to settle himself at nursery but I'm not holding my breath. I must admit, I was suprised by the nurseries reaction too, they weren't unpleasent about it but they did just seem very surprised that he can't settle himself.

Girliefriend- glad controlled crying worked for you. Like I said, I'm not against it as I have tried it myself. In my case it did end with ds crying for nearly 2 hours. Obviously I kept going in every 3 mins, then 5 mins, then 10 mins but it didn't work and it was far too stressful to even think of putting him through that again. He wouldn't learn from it. The more I went in to him, the more distressed he was getting. It doesn't work for all babies.

Anyway thanks for the posts!

My DS went through a stage of needing to be rocked to sleep after having settled himself so well before. He already had two teddys in his cot that i had slept with for a while to make smell of me so one night when he wouldnt settle once laid in his cot i used one of the teddys and stroked his face with it. I did it until he drifted off.

I kept this up when ever he woke in the night and to settle him at bed/nap times. Now he settles himself to sleep no problem but always has to have this teddy next to his face!

A friend had suggested it to me as it had worked for her and for me too. He doesnt have this teddy when he is out and about sleeping though. A muslim seems to do the trick then!!