Any advice on how to help a 2 year old co-sleeper learn to settle herself in own bed?

[suiledonn]

Hi, my dd was 2 recently and up til last week she always slept in our bed. I am now 20 weeks pregnant and with the weather being warmer and dd getting bigger all the time the co-sleeping was no longer working. We set up dd's bedroom with her single bed, her own toys etc and got her a new duvet set etc and she has been happy enough to get into her own bed to sleep. The problem is that she has never learned to settle without me. I lie in bed with her when she is going to sleep and leave when she falls asleep. She wakes up several times in the night though and calls for me and I have to get back in with her to get her back to sleep. I am exhausted from the broken sleep and would like to teach her how to settle herself back to sleep but I have no idea where to start. Has any one any ideas?

Am having similar probs with 2 yr old boy. As I'm so tired out, we said that tonight we are just going to take him back to his bed settle him until crying has stopped and then leave. Again and again! Like a kind of controlled crying but a bit gentler..

Anyway, this is the plan! We also have a stairgate on his bedroom door to stop him leaving but I often don't shut it as it makes such a noise when I go to check on him or put him back in bed (he falls out and sleeps on the floor!)

Good luck, I think I have to start being a bit tougher, but he's so lovely and says he's lonely, bless - eevn at 3:30 a.m. I usually cave in and then get elbowed, kicked and slept on by the lump.

Perhaps ignore her calls unless they are really desperate. Tell her you'll be back in a minute (this works for us). Tell her you're going but you're only next door. Put some nice music on like mozart or something? Get her to put her teddies to bed and encourage her to cuddle them when she feels lonely.
Fingers crossed!

Thanks WowOo. My problem is more with the middle of the night than earlier on. She is waking around 1.30, 4, 5.30 and so on. When I hear her I tend to jump out of bed and run straight to her because that way she doesn't get too wide awake and I can settle her again.

When we put her in her own room I didn't really say much about me and dh being in the other room or anything as I didn't want to dwell too much on her being on her own. Do you think I should talk to her about it?

It is so difficult to know what to do. I don't want her to feel upset by it but I think she needs to learn how to settle to sleep herself. I don't think a 2 year old should be waking so much in the night and she does seem tired lately.

Best of luck with your ds. I know how hard it is to resist when they really want you

MAybe don't go into full chat mode in middle of the night, no. But last night at 3 ish or whatever, my dh spoke to ds ( i was thinking 'shut up, shut up, you'll wake him more!') After this little explanation he went off and we didn't hear a peep until 5:45..

I know what you mean, I jump up and can't resist going to check when my dh is very good at ignoring or not worrying about little screams and shouts. Try to resist it, like I am going to try tonight.

We have CD player all set up with mozart to play and going to see if that will soothe him in early hours too.

I think it mihgt be the weather recently as he's not usually this bad. Hope they learn to settle and sleep through soon.

Give them a teddy/pj top with your smell on it to cuddle too. I also found a music box and a lamp helped. The music box means that the room is not so dark (they prject lights onto the ceiling) and the soothing music puts them back to sleep. I used to find that all of this combined got my lo off to sleep. My kids never co slept but they were terrible sleepers and this worked for them. I could almost count that on the last note of the music box they would be asleep. Good luck,

SINGYSWIFE I was thinking of getting her something like that. Do you know where you got yours or where I might get something like it?

I got my daughters one in MOthercare I am sure but I know that Argos do some. We had a lovely one it was a yellow star which projected light and it tied on to somewhere so that they couldnt throw it or break it.