Struggling with toddler bedtime, dummy and moving away from co-sleeping

[loladorsetlady]

At my wits end with bed times, dummy, screen time.

26 month old dd is refusing to sleep. She has always been a really good sleeper once she is down but the last 10 months have become increasingly harder to get her to bed. I start at around 7pm and normally get her down 9-10pm. Ive tried latening bedtime and it doesnt work. I want to try move away from cosleeping but whenever I try her in her own room its even worse.

She wakes up somewhere between 6.15-8am most days. 8am is much less often.

She seems so overstimulated at bedtime and does anything to avoid sleeping- she sings, kicks her arms and legs, plays with her dummy, asks to go downstairs etc.

Tonight for example started at 7 and she didn’t sleep until 9.30- she managed to find a second dummy and distratcing herself by playing with it. If i took it away she screamed and cried.

I havent even attempted removing dummy permanently yet as we have no routine for sleep.

I find myself getting so angry because I just want an hour or two to myself to have a shower and watch TV before we get up for work/nursery again.

Routine is-

Co/sleep in same bed or try get her to sleep in her bed.
Between 5-6 dinner time/telly low stimulating- play

6-7- play, bath, pyjamas, teeth, stories

7ish - in bed together trying to sleep, she has a beaker of milk

IF i manage to get her to sleep in her own bed I bring her in with me in the night as my partner works away and I get anxious but maybe this has to stop too.

She doenst nap on days off from nursery apart from maybe 10-20 minutes in the car. She has nursery 3x a week and has a 50 minute nap there each day. Her bedtime isnt easier on days she does or doesnt nap.

Please help, I cant go on like this😭

To me it sounds as though the quiet/low-key time is starting too early.

I wonder if you might need to do stuff that gives her plenty of sensory release - eg if you must have the telly on in the evening put a music video on and have a dance party/ roll around, lots of cuddles.
Then teeth + bath + PJs + stories + lights off in under an hour, but if she's not sleeping til 9 then start the bedtime routine at 8pm.

Also - totally different point - dont give her milk in bed after she's brushed her teeth.

Thank you I’ll give this ago and noted re milk

I’d keep the routine, put her to bed in her own room, keep the room very quiet and dark and be as boring as possible. With my dd I’d do a bit of tidying up in the next room for example.

Is she in a cot still?

The fact you mention your anxiety is really relevant, she will pick up on this and if she doesn’t feel that you are relaxed and in control she will play up more.

Why on Earth would you move her out of her own bed if she’s asleep?!

Thank you, I’ll do that , may see if I can make her curtains more black out as the time of year doesnt help

Hm. A few things stand out to me , like taking the second dummy.
DS has two dummies and plays with one as he falls asleep, rubs it on his eyes for sensory etc. H even has toys in his cot and plays then drops off.
I don't think children are like adults and they need to lay doing nothing?

Anyway.... DS is 2.5 and routine is.

Awake 6.30-7am
Nap 12 - 2pm
Dinner 5.30-6pm
Wind down 6-7pm (bath, Julia Donaldson show, book, milk , into cot)

I just leave him in his cots with a few toys and he will sometimes play for a few minutes laying down or sometimes it's longer. But he will drop off eventually but is left too it.

I find it unusual you are choosing to bring her in your bed when she does fall in her own?

Why on Earth would you move a child who is asleep from one bed to another? Utter madness
Forget about the dummy. Fight one battle at a time.
But get rid of the screens. A 2 year old doesn’t need them.