Could weaning have disrupted my twins sleep?

[paintedpanda]

My twin boys slept through from around 3 months to 6 months but then they started waking regularly. I’ve just looked back and it was the week after we started weaning that their sleep started getting bad. It’s still bad at 8 months.
Could weaning be the cause of their poor sleep? I sometimes worry that they have their final meal too close to bedtime, but their sleep is poor in the day too, so by the time we’ve finished dinner they’re extremely tired and it has to be straight to bed. Eating earlier wouldn’t work as DH cooks mostly but works and so he isn’t home until gone 5pm which is when dinner is started. I cook every now and then but it isn’t so easy with two babies to look after.

Also, I’ve been trying to dream feed them around 10pm but right now they seem to be sleeping so soundly that I’m reluctant to wake them. Could a dream feed be making things worse and rousing them from a deep sleep? They’re both quite light sleepers (one more than the other) so a fairly quiet but unexpected noise can wake them. They’ve always had music on to sleep but the slightest creak of the bed, floorboard, movement from the other twin will have them stirring. Should I give up the dream feed and see how it goes?

I’m struggling particularly at the moment as DH is on nights so I’m getting poor sleep at night but I can’t catch up on it in the day because my bedroom is off limits and I’m desperately trying to stay out of the house or stay as quiet as possible so as not to wake him.

Have they changed weight centiles since weaning started? Or show any signs of discomfort after, like wind, bloated tummies, fussing? I would wonder if they're a little constipated, this can massively impact sleep. It often is missed in babies this small if they have overflow around harder stools.

I'd also wonder if they need more daytime milk still, if they might not be getting enough cals from weaning yet.

How is their teething? Have you tried a dose of Calpol at the first wake to see if that helps?

Guessing you've already tried white noise, but could you move their cots in to different rooms / on different ends of their room, to try stop them waking each other? My bad sleeper actually slept better when I turned the white noise off.

If the dream feed isn't working to give you a solids night sleep I'd drop it and see if it helps?

I can only imagine cosleeping with twins is hell, but that was how I got through this stage with my singletons.

How much are they napping in the day and when? You may want to start reducing the morning nap slightly. My DC’s sleep at night was always impacted by daytime naps and adjusting those generally helped. My DD had dropped naps altogether by 20 months, she just didn’t need them.

Im not saying it’s not the weaning or something else, just commenting on my experience.

Thank you for a detailed response. It’s given me much to think about!

Twin 1 hasn’t changed weight centiles, which I’m a bit disappointed about because he’s tiny (2nd centile). Twin 2 has, but I put that down to the night wakings and more calories because I just put him back on the boob when he wakes (25th to 34th centile).

Generally no discomfort but they have both been constipated. Twin 1 more than twin 2, but twin 2 is definitely struggling to go. I didn’t know it impacted sleep. Twin 1 prescribed movicol because he was in so much pain with it, but we’ve been giving Weetabix for breakfast and it seems to help most days where his poo is soft and passable. Twin 2 always seems to struggle to go but doesn’t have the pain like twin 1 does. Would it be worth giving them both a sachet and seeing if anything happens? Twin 1 did wake the other night in pain with constipation.

We haven’t really dropped a feed, or not that I’ve noticed, but I’ve got to be honest I don’t count how many feeds they have a day. I just stick them on when they’re hungry. I think I do need to feed them more in the day though. I’ve put them down for a nap this morning (which is usually impossible) but BF before they went down (after breakfast) and they both went down much better today.

They don’t have one tooth between them! They don’t even look like they’re teething. Everything goes in the mouth anyway, but no pain, no drooling, no red cheeks, gums aren’t particularly hard. I worry about giving calpol because I don’t want to feel like I’m drugging my babies just to get some sleep! If I thought they needed it I’d give it, but without the teething signs it makes me feel like a terrible mum!

They’re still in our room at night, but share a cot because there isn’t really room for a second. I usually use their bedroom for one of them for daytime naps (if I can get them to go down) but both of them have gone in today because DH is asleep in our room. I want to get them in their own room because they’ve never shared that well but I’m worried it won’t work and then we have to lug a cot back into ours (we’d have to take it apart to get it out of our room and into theirs!). I think if we do it’ll have to be when DH has finished his nights so we can tackle it together.

We initially coslept and it was fine until they got too big. Me and DH were waking up feeling stiff and exhausted because we had no room! Is it cruel to chuck one baby in his room but cosleep with the other? It feels so unfair but I think one of the boys would settle better where the other wouldn’t.

They're barely napping in the day. It’s a miracle if I get them to sleep in their cot in the day time. It’s usually 20 mins in the car here and there but once the car turns off they’re awake. I can walk for an hour with the pram and they’ll stay awake. I didn’t mind the bad napping when they were sleeping through but now it feels hellish because they’re neither napping nor sleeping through!

Once ours started there Weetabix supper then bed 20mins later that was our sleep back and never looked back with all down to our twins now age 2

Possibly, but what can you do about it? Mine was very slow to start eating much so she continued needing night breastfeeds for months after starting weaning, we didn't cut back til she was about 15 months. Reverse cycling is also very common where they are too distracted in the day to have enough feeds.
"Could a dream feed be making things worse and rousing them from a deep sleep?" - yes absolutely. I never did a dream feed for that reason, you are disrupting a sleep cycle and then it can be hard for them to get back to proper sleep.
Put chia seeds in their Weetabix if constipated. And fine to cosleep with one if that works.
I would also say you were very fortunate they slept through so young, that's unusual. Mine didn't til 18 months.

Fair play to you for BF twins! You deserve a medal (and sleep) for that.

For the constipation, even if they're not showing outwards signs of pain they could still be uncomfy during the night, or withholding. If you don't want to go straight to movicol, lactulose is easier to get in them. The easiest way to get rid of constipation that age is plenty of water / juice with meals, even if they're well hydrated in between. They need it with the actual food. If you're using chia seeds make sure to presoak. Plenty of fats too, though breast milk is heavy on those.

If only one needs to co-sleep there's no need to feel guilty. As long as each baby, and you, are getting the sleep you need that's what matters. When they're properly crawling around a low to the ground double bed is great for a good night's sleep - you can pop in and out as you're needed.

Second the vote to look at their nap scedhule too. Too many / too little naps can mess up the night so easily. I used to drive to the McDonald's drive through, get a mcflurry, and then drive home for a nap in the driveway with the car on during rough spells. 😅

And most babies their age have had full bottles of Calpol by now - no harm to try once!

Thank you all.

Our BF journey didn’t start out so easy but we really worked at it. I’m really proud of them for doing it and proud of myself for not giving up!

I’ll definitely get some chia seeds to try (I make my own muesli so I can always throw them in there if it doesn’t work). They seem to be on and off with their constipation. Twin 1 has some really bad times with it but then other times quite normal nappies. Twin 2 doesn’t have the pain but rarely does a good sized one, often tiny pebbles. It’s something I need to work on even if it doesn’t help their sleep.
We give water for every meal. They’ve just started to understand their cups so I can just give it to them now rather than holding it for them. They actually love the water.

I guess if they were two separate babies I wouldn’t even think twice about cosleeping with one and not the other. I worry about treating them differently and appearing to have a favourite, which obviously I don’t. I get a lot of people asking how we decide which baby to put on the top of the pram!

I will try the calpol tonight if they wake early. DH would have tried it ages ago but I always stopped him, so I’ll try it while he’s at work so he doesn’t know I’ve done it 😂

Bouts of constipation at this age can stretch the bowel and cause more stool to get trapped, so dosing longer than you think you need too with the stool softener is a good idea. My youngest is nearly two, and had a preventative dose of 2.5ml lactulose for a good month when he was weaning. It coincided with his only bad sleeping spell, so I'm convinced constipation is the devil!

There's another thread floating around about infant constipation tips with some good advise - can't find the link though. Clearly my algorithm is ruined!!

My eldest coslept for a year, my youngest for maybe 2-3 months, so if your two were born separately you wouldn't even blink at it. First you survive and get sleep, next you thrive.

Teeth are probably in your near future too. Even if you can't see or feel them yet, they start moving deep in the gums before anything shows.