15-month-old twins with persistent sleep and feeding difficulties

[Mumoftwins2025]

Hi, I have twins at 15 months old we’ve had sleep difficulty since they’ve been born. They’ve been on formula and even struggled to drink enough daily. We tried different ones which made no difference. We thought once they start eating solids things would improve but they don’t eat! Till this day they just prefer something crunchy like crisps and crackers. No fruits nor cheese. We have to use major distraction to get them to take a few spoonfuls. We even struggle to give them their daily cows milk. We also ruled out a cows milk allergy. They’ve been iron deficient at 7 months and take medicine for it. They constantly toss and turn all night. Fight sleep, always overtired and become hyperactive when we have visitors or take them to classes and we’re so exhausted that we find it easier to just stay at home. They don’t nap at other people’s homes either. We’ve had paediatricians and dieticians. And nothing has worked. Does anyone know what could be going on?

What percentile are they now and what were they at birth?
What do they eat in a typical day?
How much do they actually sleep?
How much exercise do they get?
Do they take the recommended vitamin supplements for children?

I was looking for The Infant and Toddler Forum advice on fussy eating but it seems to have been incorporated into this advice.

https://patientwebinars.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/1.-Fussy-Feeders-Under-5-Years-of-Age.pdf

Good luck.

How much cows milk are they having? If they will eat other forms of dairy like yoghurt or porridge made with milk, I’d be looking to cut down / out having milk to drink. It’s not necessary at that age

Hey thanks for responding. My one twin was born at 5 pounds 7. She is currently under the 50th centile currently weight 21.7 pounds. They do take their recommended liquid vitamins daily that’s if they finish a bottle as it’s the only way they take it. They are extremely active and would take them to physical activities 4 times a week. Though that has lessened due to becoming overwhelmed and in overdrive. She takes about 4 spoonfuls at each meal and that’s with a lot of distraction. She has at most 350ml of milk total daily. She often has 3-4 spoons of yoghurt. We’ve tried completely taking out milk total daily build an appetite. It makes barely any difference to how much food they have

Thank you I’ll take a look at this

Weight sounds normal for their age so you’re clearly doing a great job feeding them although it’s hard work.

Do they have any other symptoms? Dribbling or sticking tongue out a lot? Any physical development delays or issues - did they roll, crawl, stand, cruise on time etc? Has an ENT or gastric specialist ever checked them out ?

Thank you. I know I sometimes wonder how they are even stabilising weight. No oral issues and can swallow fine. They appeared to walk and crawl at 10.5 months so was quite early. I am trying to get a referral for ent as they do snore and breathe through their mouth. I haven’t considered a gastric specialist. I might check that out

Hi OP. I'm also a twin mum, and I remember how challenging these days were. First, be reassured that you're doing a great job.

On the sleep front, I'd remind you that sleep issues even at this age are really normal. They just feel so much worse when you've got two of them and they're not necessarily in sync etc. For us, we found that having them sleeping in the same room created more disturbance. They were both noise, wriggly sleepers so they woke each other, and us, even when they weren't sleeping. At this age we had them in separate rooms and my husband and I slept separately too, with a monitor each. That way we only got disturbed by one baby at a time and we all got more sleep! Obviously I don't know your sleep arrangements, but I'd definitely try out different options and see what works for you.

On the feeding front, it sounds stressful for you, but you can be reassured that they're growing. The amount of milk is still reasonable and they are eating some solids. I think we sometimes overestimate how much food small babies actually need. Remind yourself of the guidelines and it might reassure you a bit? Keep offering different thing and do what you can -to get them to eat. I'd let them have more of meals/foods they like rather than stressing too much about what they are eating for now. I also would say that I don't think I ate myself enough around my twins - feeding two babies at the same time is hard enough work without trying to feed yourself at the same time! But if they aren't watching you eat much then maybe that might encourage them? Also, feed them when they are most hungry - food first, milk after - and don't worry too much about traditional meal times. Routine is helpful for your sanity with twins, but I don't think you need to stick rigidly to breakfast lunch and dinner times per say. Find your own rhythm for now.

We had feeding issues, albeit at an earlier stage than this, and tried so many different formulas and things, but it all resolved with time.

Also, in case you are worrying, staying at home is fine. I barely got out with mine at all when they were this age and smaller. Partly due to COVID, but also because some days it just wasn't worth the effort. We didn't do any baby classes or regular socialising. They started at a small local staffed playgroup when they were 2 and a half, three mornings a week without me, and they were absolutely fine. Now they are 7, school has been a breeze and they are flying.

So many things seemed impossible when they were that tiny and I was exhausted and overwhelmed all the time. But they do get there, gradually, and now I can look back and see that a lot of my anxiety was just sleep deprivation and needing a break. You honestly sound like you're doing really well.

Thank you such a reassuring response! I keep telling myself it’s a phase and I pray that it is. We’ve been dealing with this since they’ve been small. We’re so exhausted from the minute they wake till they sleep it’s non stop. We have been sleeping in separate bedrooms since they’ve been 7 months because they would trigger each other as they have been fighting bedtime for a long time. I feel like we’ve exhausted so many options - dietician, paediatrician even the hospital! No one has the answer. I mean what baby doesn’t enjoy milk? Even getting them to finish a bottle is a challenge. I think it’s useful to consider focusing on foods they might enjoy and work at their phase, as we are trying too hard to stick to regular routine. So thank you for this.

Thank you for your reassuring response! I really do hope and keep telling myself it’s a phase. We've been dealing with this since they've been small. We're so exhausted from the minute they wake till they sleep it's non stop, lots of irritability and crying. I feel so helpless. We have been sleeping in separate bedrooms since they've been 7 months because they would trigger each other as they have been fighting bedtime for a long time. I feel like we've exhausted so many options - dietician, paediatrician even the hospital! No one has the answer. I mean what baby doesn't enjoy milk? Even getting them to finish a bottle is a challenge. I think it's useful to consider focusing on foods they might enjoy for now and work at their pace, as we are trying too hard to stick to regular routine. So thank you for this.