Newborn nights.. struggling!

[elfisheyes]

DC2 was born 9w ago (DC1 is 2y4m) and I’m really struggling with the sleep deprivation, as well as everything else that goes with the new chaos of having 2 little ones!

Currently BFing with x1 bottle of EBM/Formula DH to give so I can get a 2-3h sleep stretch in the eve. After he gives baby to me, baby wakes every 1.5-2h or so, so I’m never getting any restorative sleep.
Putting baby down has failed every time. Baby is in an arms up swaddle, white noise, I’ve waited until in a deeper sleep (15-20min) done a ninja transfer, only to wake 15min later so I give up for the rest.

Baby is on my chest or side lying on a Bf pillow on me, I’m propped up with pillows so sleeping upright for 9w now. Can’t seem to master side lying cosleeping, baby doesn’t settle :(

How do you master getting baby in their own sleep space? Or do/did you chest/co sleep for a long time?
How do your newborn nights look?
Any tips?/ general survival advice?
Thanks so much in advance x

So both of mine were velcro babies. We bedshared after one epic fail of the moses basket on night one of baby 1.
For feeding lying down:
Start feeding normally. Have baby in sleep sack so no change needed. You're propped up in bed.
Once they are fed and dozy on your preferred boob slide down the bed so that they are still attached but horizontal on you. Then roll towards them very verrrry slowly while maintaining the latch. If they wake just keep them latched and let them suckle until it's intermittent sucks.
Then roll until they are on the bed, still latched.
Stay like that and then gently try to unlatch. If you manage, brilliant. If not, shove the nip back in their face and pretend it didn't happen.
Stay in a C curl (lullaby trust) with them facing your boob. They can't roll on their front because it's just boob, and may roll naturally onto their back.
Doze until the next feed.
Repeat for two years.

I had to reply as @Jellyofftheplateyour response had me giggling as this is literally me! Especially 'shove the nipple back in their face and pretend it didnt happen'😂

OP - currently in a very similar situation with my 7 week old. Managed two hours sleep tonight and that looks like thats all I'll be getting. Not got much advice on the settling/sleep but I try my best to look after myself in every other way, loads of water, multi vitamins, walks, self care - even though I know nothing replaces a good few hours sleep!

Mine were hard to put down but I could feed them lying down and then they would sleep for 2 hours or so, got easier around 5 months. With dd2 I just had hardly any sleep for a few months because of course i couldn’t nap (dd1 had given up napping under 2 years old, was going through asd diagnosis, wasn’t easy looking back but didn’t last that long

Here to say I am also struggling so much with sleep - DS is 7 weeks old and DD3. He wakes every 1.5-2 hours too so by the time he’s changed, fed, settled, held etc if the transfer to his basket even works then he’s up again 20 mins later. It is pure pain.

Side lying breastfeeding and cosleeping got me so much sleep. Just me and baby in a double bed. No transfer needed! She naturally did start to sleep longer stretches and at thst point i would move her in the next to me cot more often. But yours sounds entirely normal for that age

Thank you all so much, sorry to hear you’ve had the same newborn night struggles too but it’s reassuring to know we’re not way out of the norm..
@Jellyofftheplateand @Peonies12 thanks for side lying feeding advice, I’ll try again.... I’m just wondering how you feed from both boobs easily though , do you pick baby up and switch to the other side each time or do you have to twist yourself to be half lying on your front for baby to reach the outer boob if that makes sense?! Also do you put anything down on the sheet?

If baby doesn’t settle at all lying flat on their back I’d explore the possibility of silent reflux- might be worth getting a GP appointment.

Also could DH do more bottles so you actually get a decent stretch? I’d expect shifts to look
more like him doing 7-11pm and then again 5am-7am so he gets the core chunk to be vaguely functional for work the next day but you’re both getting 6 hours of proper sleep each even if yours is split.

Agree with feeding lying down - had to move baby to the other side first second boob but he’d turn generally drop off. I coslept with DS2 for 6 months but then did wean off bfeeding so DH could do some night feeds.

So I was very leaky, so I put a folded towel down under us to sleep on top of. I'd just feed on one boob per feed and then swap for the next feed - I was very averse to doing anything that might wake them once asleep next to me which definitely included lifting to swap boobs 😂 once they were closer to ten months I could get them to latch on the top boob without moving them, but before then, despite my orangutan nipples, I could get enough stretch to do it. But both babies woke frequently enough that both boobs got used so no major engorgement. Small silver linings aye!

Lots of good advice on here but thought I should add - you say you’re currently swaddling - you need to let baby have their arms out if doing side feeding to help prevent them from rolling onto their face.
good luck!