Help 😫 anyone else’s 1 year olds sleep gone to s***?

[Emm03]

Ladies I’m wondering if any of you have advice. I’m a single mum and I do feel I’ve created this issue myself in a lot of ways. My one year old is an amazing little girl but her sleep has become terrible and it is affecting me mentally and making me feel physically unwell. I’ve just started back at work in a fairly pressured sales role and I don’t know how I’m going to cope. I’m also in the process of buying a home and moving so lots going on. I’m currently at my parents so my girl has always slept in my bedroom with me, she slept in her next to me (with a mix of co sleeping) until she was about 7 months when she got a cold around Christmas. To make life easier I had her in my bed and it worked amazing to the point I didn’t order a crib until a month or two later. Now she’s never spent longer than an hour in the crib and will just cry and cry until she is sick even if I comfort her. She now associates feeding with bed time as I breastfed so I’m trying to stop this and be strict - she eats loads during the day and has a huge bottle of cows milk before bed so she doesn’t need it it’s purely for comfort. If I refuse feed she gets angry, moans cry’s etc so I’m trying to be strong. She is waking multiple times in the night moaning in her sleep, she also sleep crawls and will get up and fall in to me. Comforting her doesn’t work I’m really at such a loss at what to do. I’m surviving on hardly any sleep currently and have 0 help at night, I’m ashamed to say I’ve lost my shit and shouted at her a few times recently. I’m considering hiring a sleep coach once I’m in my house as I’m afraid it’s going to be horrendous getting her into her own room. She even struggles to nap on her own (won’t go in cot) so I don’t know what to do.

That sounds tough OP.

Sometimes sleep patterns do change due to change in environment, growth spurts, and picking up on other changes such as your new job so a new routine for your daughter too. One year olds do often have these issues. Patience and routine is key I think.If she in a cot, they do take a while to learn how to sleep on their own. Remember they’re learning too, it’s all new to them and so much is changing.

However this isn't making it easier for you if you're not getting sleep and have started working too so here's what I have found useful (abeit I was in this situation a few years ago now!):

Daughters bed means you can provide some cuddle time and then provide a warm blanket that smells of you for when you get up and go to your own bed. This helped with mine so that they stayed sleeping and I got some sleep too.

Check for any light or unusual sounds that maybe waking her up if you're in a new room/ setup.

Is she getting enough stimulation and exercise during the day to be physically tired now you're back at work? Are your parents looking after her during that time (I ask as I find mine are difficult to get to sleep on the days they've been at grandparents due to lack of exercise/ running around). A walk with her/ time in the garden/ swing park before you get back from work might be a useful as an addition to the routine.

Also, google sleep training methods - there are many and hopefully one of them will suit your parenting style. Don't expect it to work overnight and best of luck. This too is a child development phase that will pass.