8 month old only sleeps on the boob at night

[MamaNeedsHerBoobsBack]

Hi.
I don’t know if anyone can relate but my 8 month old just can’t sleep without being on the boob at night. If I try to pull away, baby wakes up. My nipples are suffering the next morning. Thankfully it’s only at night. But I can’t help think that this can’t go on forever. What can I do to help her sleep by herself. To be fair i haven’t tried anything yet, just don’t know where to start.

Are you co sleeping or is the baby in a separate crib/Next 2 Me?

What actually happens? You pull her off gently and try to put her, then she cries? Then what?
You shush/pay/rock/sing etc? How long have you tried this for?

8 months is plenty old enough to learn to settle without BF. You don't have to do "sleep training" if you don't want to (ie leaving the baby alone) but you don't have to give in to the demands for BF either. You can refuse the BF whilst still staying with them and comforting them.

We’re co-sleeping. We start with both of us in bed (she on the boob until she falls asleep). It used to be that I can put her on the bed and she’ll remain asleep but of late it hasn’t been the case. She’ll wake and cry and only falls back asleep once back on the boob.
It feels easier to just comply and then sleeps usually takes over for me too.
she’s always been a Velcro baby but usually falls asleep once off the boob that’s it until next wake for feed again. But this time it’s different, she wants to stay on it for a long time until she’s deep asleep.

Babies definitely change their habits as they get older, so could be no reason for the change really. Or it could be teething or something.

Are you planning on switching to a cot at some point? If so you could start that now - it will take some getting used to, but gentle changes and consistency (don't give in!) and she will likely get the hang of it in three nights or so.
Or you could hang on for another couple of months until you can actually night wean. Again three nights or so is often all it takes (better if you have a partner who can do it, and you sleep elsewhere, so the baby doesn't smell the milk). I'm not promising success but it does work for a lot of babies.

If you want to keep co sleeping for a lot longer, I can't advise as I didn't co sleep, but hopefully someone who can will be along soon.

On the boob is such a crass saying 🤯
your baby is using you like a dummy, try giving her a dummy to pacify her. Do a stop though once she settles and spits it out so she doesn’t get into a habit

I appreciate the advice, thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my post with help.

Will start implementing the changes (gentle and consistent - got it) and hopefully I will report back with happier news. Thank you so much ❤️

If you haven’t already I think I’d have to introduce a dummy from what you’ve described.

Definitely introduce a dummy.

Most babies of this age don’t need milk overnight so it’s comfort therefore I’d offer a dummy. Good luck!

Goodness some of the advice you’ve received here is from posters who clearly haven’t breastfed or
coslept with an 8 month old baby!

OP - 8 months is when separation anxiety starts to read its head. What you’re describing is frustrating but not uncommon. She is realising that you and her are actually separate people.

Your baby isn’t using you as a “dummy”, it is biologically normal for your baby to find the sucking from breastfeeding to be comforting. Dummies were invented to replace breastfeeding not the other way around. That said I do understand how hard it is when you have a baby who is suddenly waking up whenever you try and unlatch them.

Do you feed her sidelying? That’s the easiest way to sneak away from them as opposed to trying to lay them down somewhere and hoping they stay asleep. When you unlatch her you can try and gently hold a finger under her chin which can sometimes help settle them.

I would recommend checking out Lyndsey Hookway for gentle advice. There are ways to make changes without night weaning your still young baby or forcing her to sleep in a cot if neither of you want to.

Babies never use a breast like a dummy. They use dummies like a breast.

Tips that worked for me: wait until the breathing goes steady and she's in a deep sleep before unlatching. Also, unlatch and immediately put two fingers on her mouth (like a shush gesture). I think I learnt that one from LLL.

Most babies of this age don’t need milk
8 months?? Of course they do. If you'd replace it with formula, they need milk.

If you're weaning your 8mo baby with no breastmilk or formula then you're malnourishing them. This is 8 months, not 18 months

Dummies are not incompatible with breastfeeding (or indeed cosleeping, unless you’re trying to qualify for an internet purity badge). I breastfed until DS was over 3 and still used a dummy (which we’d removed before then).

Of course you CAN breastfeed and use a dummy. I also breastfed one of mine who had a dummy. The rest have not had a dummy and I have also experienced this frustrating phase OP is describing several times.

My comment was about the only advice OP has received is, night weaning, get her in her own bed and introduce a dummy. They are not the only options open to her and it’s biologically incorrect to state that her baby is using her like a dummy. A baby with a dummy is using the dummy like a breast!

Her baby is very little to be thinking about night weaning, many babies are taking a considerable amount of their calories at night at this age. Cosleeping is also the biological norm so making a change from this also isn’t the only way to get through this period unless OP wants to do any of these things.

Also at 8 months old OP may struggle to get baby to accept a dummy at this point and she’s also already at an age where many are thinking about how to remove a dummy. As anyone who has ever got a dummy off an attached child will know, having a child who takes a dummy is a double edged sword.

It’s good to remember it’s a phase. It’s hard in the moment. It feels like these things will go on forever unless you take some drastic action but the illusion of control is real! I think mother’s mental health over any pure advice, so try whatever will help you if you are really struggling with it. Hopefully whatever you decide it will pass very soon. I have an almost 9mo and I am formula feeding because I can’t Bf on the medication I take & changing it wasn’t an option for us. But I do miss it from my first and so I hope you still are able to enjoy it x

The comment I made about she’s using you as a dummy means that she needs comfort sucking, so replace the breast WITH a dummy …. I thought that was very obvious, perhaps you’re just not very comprehensive, or maybe you like to trash people to sound knowledgable 🙄