Sleep regression hitting hard

[paintedpanda]

I have 7 month old EBF twins and for the last month my twin2 has been waking 3 hourly, despite sleeping through for months prior. Twin1 is still sleeping through.

We coslept before this started, tried putting them in their cot because they were getting too big for all of us in the bed, and that’s when this happened, and for all the advice that “it’ll only last a few weeks” we’re still going strong.
The problem is that they don’t even sleep in the day. They will only sleep if they are being held, in the car when it’s moving (I stop at lights or junctions and wide awake again), or in the pram (again, only moving on bumpy paths, not smooth supermarket floors). This means I’m not only getting no sleep at night but no rest in the day either. Sometimes I walk for over an hour and they still don’t fall asleep.
I spoke to a health visitor about this and she just said “they’ll sleep when they’re tired” but they don’t. They just scream and cry until bedtime. She also grumbled about cosleeping but it’s the only way we’ve managed a decent sleep. It’s exhausting and I’m starting to feel it now. I’ve just been diagnosed low iron, borderline anaemic, and so the exhaustion is unbearable.

I don’t know what to do. I’m getting to the end of my rope. I worry he’s just going to get used to feeding to sleep and I’ll never get a good night again. I wouldn’t mind so much if him feeding in the night meant he was actually learning new skills but he still doesn’t roll, sit alone, his hand eye coordination isn’t great, no teeth, yet his sleeping-through twin has mastered all of these (except the teeth). He’s also a lot bigger than twin1 and I worry that the extra calories he’s getting will see him massive while twin1 is tiny in comparison (his weight is another concern of mine but no one else’s). Neither of them self settle (twin1 also doesn’t nap in the day but I can’t argue because he sleeps beautifully in the night).
I worry that he’s getting less sleep than me. That can’t be healthy?

Is there anything that can help? He might be teething but he doesn’t seem in pain at any point, chewing as normal really. I feel selfish for feeling this way, like I’ve got a baby, of course I shouldn’t expect to sleep, but he slept so well for so long and I’m reluctant to give it up!

If Co-sleeping helps I would carry on. I’m still co-sleeping with a two year old and she started when she was too big for her Moses basket.
With some babies they don’t sleep through the night and it doesn’t change until they grow out of it.
I have 4 and 3 of them had the 4 month sleep regression and never went back until they were about 3 years old. I know that’s not what you want to hear but knowing that eventually they will sleep is what can get you through.
For my daughter now I’ve noticed if she’s wearing short sleeves she will wake more and if she’s constipated. She is also more advanced than my other children were at this age so I do think all that learning does something to her brain and she’s a light sleeper. I don’t know 🤷.
Im also amazed that you are bf twins wow. I’m only breastfeeding the one but that exhausts me. You also mentioned they are exclusively bf do you think that he might be hungry and possibly ready for some solids?

Thank you for the reply.
We end up with him back in the bed sometimes and it still doesn’t stop the night waking. It just makes it slightly easier to cope with, but not when there are two of them because there just isn’t the room with DH too. I don’t want DH to sleep elsewhere because, with the pregnancy and now the boys, our intimacy is dropping. Not sex (I wouldn’t with the boys in the bed) but just general closeness.
It feels cruel to just cosleep with one but we have done because twin1 is still sleeping through.

These are number 3 and 4 but he’s the first one to go through a regression! My two eldest slept like a dream from a matter of weeks old. And he’s the least advanced out of all of them at this stage. My elder two and his twin were all rolling and sitting by 7 months.

Sorry, I still use EBF but I guess it isn’t E anymore! They are on 2 meals a day some days. Breakfast every day. Dinner is harder because if they haven’t napped they’re usually too upset to eat by 5.30. They just want boob and bed. We BLW so I’m reluctant to do lunch just yet because I want them to eat what we eat, and our best (most nutritious) meal is dinner. Lunch is usually a sandwich.

In my experience waking 3-hourly is normal at that age. Mine was a terrible napper to. I'd cosleep with twin 2 if it helps get more sleep. I wouldn't worry about offering 2 meals a day yet, and definitely not in the evening - just keep back whatever you have for your dinner and give it at lunch the next day. I'd prioritise sleep over intimacy - you'll get that back in the future but you need sleep now. Can you take turns sleeping elsewhere / split the night so you both get a block of sleep?

We have the boys room where I suppose DH could go but I couldn’t because twin2 is waking so frequently there isn’t much point. I’d get the same amount of time as I do now, probably less. DH can’t get him to sleep because no boobs, sadly. I don’t much like the nights alone either. DH does blocks of 7 nights at work every few months or so and I really struggle alone.
I see what you’re saying about forgetting the intimacy for now, but I’m reluctant to do so. I don’t think I’m asking much that I get to cuddle with my husband at the end of a long day (for both of us) and I know he’s feeling the same. We can’t go downstairs and watch tv together because the boys won’t let me out of their sight. I’ve just got them down to sleep for a “nap”, took a picture of them at 13:56. I had the audacity to leave the room and use the toilet and by 14:02 they were both awake and crying. It’s now 14:18, I have to leave for the school run in 30 mins, and only one has fallen back to sleep (the one who sleeps through the night, obviously…). Twin2 is quiet but eyes wide open. He’s napped for around 30 mins altogether today, in the car twice (about 12-15 minute journeys) and the 6 minutes I’ve just got where I managed to get to the toilet.