9mo won't sleep now he can stand - what should I do??!!

[ApuskiDusky]

My 9 month old ds has been largely good at sleeping in his cot for naps and at night. He has learnt to pull up, and over the last few days, is compulsively pulling himself up to standing in his cot no matter how tired he is. After a time he starts to cry as he is tired, and can get back to sitting, but won't lie to go to sleep.

Having scoured the archives it seems my options are:

• lie him down every time he stands up - not sure how well this works as his standing seems so compulsive, but maybe I've not continued long enough
• leave him to lie down and settle himself - though I'm wary of this turning into cc, which I don't want to do
• get by using a series of avoidance strategies - feed to sleep, sleep in pushchair, sleep in our bed etc - which is what I've resorted to so far, but I'm worried about how long I'll have to do these things, setting bad habits etc and really want to get him back to cot sleeping asap.

What would you recommend?

anyone?

will watch this as I am having the same issue but with sittin. DD3 does exactly the same despite how tired main problem seems to be withem getting back down. (in my case) anyway.

is he in a gro-bag? i found dd's movements were much restricted by being in one and this prevented her from doing too much standing.

is he doing teh standing thing at bedtime or during the night if he has woken up?

if dd did do this I would just lie her back down again and keep at it till she flaked out. once down i would stroke her back, sing, shush etc etc.

looking back i did a gradual withdrawal thing with her which took a while (months!) but i didn't know it was a technique with a name till afterwards!

patience and not getting stressed really helped. if i got huffy she got more cranky.

these things will pass is my mantra!

He's in a grobag, and can stand up without too much trouble when he's in it.

He's doing this for daytime naps, and when waking up at night, but for the last few days when this has been happening he's fallen to sleep at his bedtime feed so it hasn't happened at bedtime yet.

I've been looking at the baby whisperer site and looking at pu/pd, which I may need to persevere with. So far, he's been straining to get up again before I've even let go!

it is tough, they're so keen to be mobile and use their new skills!

try the No Cry Sleep Solution, i found it a good read and helped my sanity altho i didn't really follow the plans etc.

tbh, i'd try to head things off before you got to the PU/PD.

My son did this. I used to lie him down, and leave the room. He cried and would stand up straight away. I would go in his room and lie him down again. He would carry on for up to 45 mins some times, but we did get there in a day or two, and he eventually go it. In fact I still remember the day he stood up, I opened his door, and he looked at me and lay down again.

DD used to do this. It only lasted a few days then she just seemed to understand that she could lie down again from standing up. They all go through this phase. As long as your DC knows how to sit back down then you either have to decide to ignore him or lie him back down every time he stands up. BTW, you are quite right when you say that it seems complulsive to stand. He is standing up because he can not necessarily because he 'wants' to be stood up. He'll learn that he can choose to stand or not and then he'll sleep again.

Thanks all, will try to lie him back down and persevere. I've also borrowed a night light that projects onto the ceiling, so that he has something interesting to look at when lying down, to see if that helps too!

Quick postscript - the projection nightlight worked a treat last night - he was awake twice overnight, and happily went back to sleep without trying to stand.

AND it meant he was happy to stay in his cot when he woke at 5.30am - so I got to sleep until 6.30 for the first time in ages and I feel so much better!

Obviously one night is not the whole story, but so far so good!

Having the exact same problem with my ds (10 months), he was a fab sleeper, slept from 7:30pm to 8am til he learned to sit up from laying down. Now as soon as I put him in his cot, he sits or stands and cries for me to go back in. He also does it all through the night now which is wearing me down. I have to feed him to sleep but the second he hears me sneaking away, he's awake and up. HEEEELLLLLPP! I too don't want to go down the Controlled Crying route, I'm not aganst it but I am not strong enough nor do I think it would work with my ds as he gets hysterical and can never ever settle himself. Just want you to know you're not the only one.

Well the projector didn't work tonight. We had 30 minutes of me constantly laying him back down, turning away, then turning around to do it again - straight face, no eye contact, saying 'time to sleep', trying to avoid him seeing it as a game.

Finally he stopped trying to get up, but then he lay crying, so I then patted him and sung quietly by the side of the cot, which stopped the crying and he eventually went to sleep.

Doing it in the middle of the night when I just want to go back to sleep could be interesting!

I have just had exactly the same battle for the fourth night in a row. Put DD, 9 months old, to bed at 7pm, although absolutely tired out she has only just gone to sleep, she gets hysterical and has yelled virtually non stop for 2 hours, I do all the stuff of lying her down, stroking her, sitting with her, leaving her, giving her a bottle to try and sooth her to sleep, she is having none of it, jumping back up or sitting up and yelling and yelling, the only reason that she is now asleep is that she is totally shattered.... and so am I.

I find this so hard as up to now she has slept from 7pm for 12 hours solid, it's awful and I'm getting to the stage where I'm dreading bed time, what's even more upsetting is that I literally could cry to see her in this state.

Just glad to read that they grow out of it, selfishly I also feel that where as I used to enjoy a couple of hours of "me time" in the evening, that has all disappeared, but then I suppose I've been lucky up to now - welcome to the real world!

.....and up again at 4.45am, back asleep now as she's knackered.

This is bloody awful!

WE put DD in the travel cot at this stage for a little while. She couldn't pull herself up on the mesh sides. Not much help for those sitting though I'm afraid.

omg - he slept through! First time ever! I have no idea if this is a fluke or not, but I feel so much better after 7 hours uninterrupted sleep. Have to see how the nap goes now.

Sorry to hear you had another bad night Oliviasmama - I know what you mean about the importance of evening time - that was the main thing that kept me going in the first few months, and when it started to disappear, it made everything else much harder to cope with.

Hoorah - been out all day visiting friends, full on day for DD, she fell asleep in the car coming home at 5 (potential nightmare for a 7 o clock bed time), woke her when home, gave her tea at 5.30, play time for a while accompanied by a little TV, bath and huge warm thick bottle immediately followed by bed at 7.30pm, it took her no more than 10 mins before she was asleep and not a cry in the house was heard.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Just a point to anyone in the same boat as I've been for the last few nights, I think a grow bag for bed is a must, I'd forgotten that over the problematic nights I'd not been using DD's, I think that this may have contributed to her being able to sit and stand up and generally not feeling as snug as usual.

I'm one happy Mummy tonight - long may it last.

i have the same problem with my dd2. i lay her down again before i leave the room and leave her to it.

if she is 'whiney' io leave her knowing that she will fall asleep in a few mins but if she starts crying properly i go in pick her up and cuddle her holding her down and still untill she starts to nod off! then put her back when she is drowsy but still awake iyswim?

dd2 only had a grow bag up untill about 4 months so i know it isnt lack of grow bag that is bothering her. just asserting her independance i think

Oh gosh Micci, awful isn't it.

I've had success again tonight with the same routine as last night. Do you think it would help if you used a grow bag again, it might do. I just find that it stops DD being so mobile, my friend who has just had her second baby swears by bath time, feed and bed. I know it's the obvious but that's the only other thing I can think of.

Good luck.

Oh I'm SO glad we read this thread!

DS has been a good sleeper since 8 weeks old, with occasional interruptions for teething, sickness etc. (Thank you Beatrice Hollyer!)

He's now nearly 9 months, active, alert, mobile, busy, and flinging himself around the place collecting bruises.

Bedtimes have gone from 20 minute bath, dress and feed, to two hour bath, dress and feed, put down, pick up, put down, leave the room, shake the cot, yell, look out the window, get leg trapped in bars, yell again, stand up, scream, pick up, put down, stand up, scream, scream, shake, scream......

The standing IS compulsive. He was even trying it when asleep. He only got to sleep cos he dropped off in my arms, then I put him in the cot, at which he woke up, but I put him on his belly and HELD his pelvis flat with my hand so he couldn't stand.

If we want him to nap during the day, one of us gets him into our bed and restrains him until he falls asleep (we know when he has woken up again - we hear the "THUMP" as he falls off the bed).

I'm so glad it's only a phase. We thought it was. We're going to move his nap forward (he's dropped a nap) to about 12-2, and then see how we get on.

Still, it's all worth it to see his smile in the morning...

dd2 was great tonight put her in her cot and she smiled!!!! no standing no whinging just one big smile! she has a had a very active day i called into see my mum on my way home from post office to prevent me murdering dd1 have a coffee and her mobile hairdresser was there with her little girl and they played lovely togther! she missed her naptime so was v v tired!!

My daughter was the same when she learnt to pull herself up. We did 'lying down practice' on a load of cushions in the living room and made it into a game with loads of praise for lying down sensibly so that when I told her 'lie down, now' at bedtime, she felt clever to have done it right instead of being fed up at being in her cot. Hope this helps!