Baby won’t sleep unless held/ bed sharing

[Io123]

My baby is almost 7 months old and we are having big difficulties getting him to sleep in his cot. He slept in his cot as a new born and then at about 3 months old he hit a sleep regression and started becoming very difficult to settle in his cot. I’ve been co sleeping with him since then with my husband having to sleep in another room. He only wants to sleep when held or co sleeping close to me in the bed. Anytime he is put down to sleep on his own, he cries hysterically. I’ve tried repeatedly to put him down using different techniques- putting him down fully awake sand also trying to put him down when drowsy or awake. Either way he cries and wakes himself up. This process can go on a long time and we both end up exhausted, so I give up and let him stay in the bed.
Baby is breastfed and still wakes to feed around 4 times in a night, even though I’m told by this age he shouldn’t need feeding that much. He wakes asking to be red and won’t settle until fed. He is drinking plenty of milk in the day and also loves his food.

Can anyone else relate to this and any suggestions to get him to sleep on his own as I feel like I’ve tried everything?

Just don't bother. You'll both be exhausted. Just bedshare and let everyone get more sleep. He can help himself to boob in the night and while it'll wake you you can feed lying down and doze. He'll still sleep independently when he's ready. Neither of my kids ever slept in a cot, we just bedshared until they were ready for me to roll away for longer periods and then I'd feed them to sleep and they'd sleep through. 15 months for my oldest and about 18 months for my youngest. Great sleepers ever since.

I had four kids like this. By number four I barely tried the cot. I ended up sleeping with them in my bed. I don’t particularly enjoy cosleeping but now they're all big hulking teens I’m so glad of that time. It passes so, so quickly.

I’m in the exact same situation with my baby, he is 7 months old and I bedshare with him and have done since he was about 3 weeks old due to struggling to get him to sleep without being held when younger.
At bedtime, I try and start by putting him in his cot but the longest he’s ever slept is 2 hours and then he wakes really upset and is impossible to settle without putting him back in my bed and feeding him, (he’s breastfed). He also wakes multiple times in the night, and absolutely will not settle without being fed.
I don’t really get any time to myself, even of an evening when he goes to bed because he won’t sleep a long stretch. I have no idea how to improve things, but you’re not alone 😴

Is the cot in your room or in his own room? I had a similar challenge at that age and he did longer stretches in his own room immediately (by night 2 he slept 6 hours, awake for a bit and then another 6 hours) when the longest he'd done in our room was 2 hours.

I would have just carried on co-sleeping for longer but my back and hips hurt so much from the co-sleeping position for smaller babies.

What’s his routine like? If you’re expecting an 11-12 hour night from him and he’s one of the babies who can only do 9-10 hours of nighttime sleep or he’s having too much daytime sleep he might be undertired. Being unable to sleep not being held is one of my baby’s biggest undertired signs. If he’s being held and it’s all warm and snuggly that’s enough to keep him sleep, but if he’s on his own then he’s just not tired enough to stay asleep. Cosleeping never worked for us because unless he’s physically on me, it doesn’t matter to him. Even lying next to me in full contact is the same as being in the next room.

My baby was the same as yours. Nothing worked so we are still bedsharing at 20 months old! I'm planning to wean her around 24 months and hopefully this will also help her with independent sleep 🤞

Life is too short to force your child to sleep in a cot when they don’t want to. Co-sleeping has saved my life and I don’t care what other people think of it. My eldest two have gone into their own beds when they're ready. My youngest is still with me and I don’t pay any mind to it.

Had 2 like this. They are 5 and 9 now and still like to be held when they go to sleep, and arrive in bed with us in the middle of the night. It’s just seemed the natural thing to do for us. They’re not small for long ❤️ Too old to have more but would give anything for those tiny baby snuggles again.