Advice for managing newborn sleep who wont be put down and a toddler during the day.

[Karma1387]

Just looking for a bit of advice and hopefully a miracle suggestion.

I have a 6 week old beautiful baby and a toddler. Currently we are co-sleeping as it is the only way he will sleep. This also currently applies to naps. I am bringing him upstairs so he can sleep as he is hit and miss in my arms and wont sleep in his next to me crib downstairs.

However my partner goes back to work in a week and because he works nights I wont be able to keep bringing baby upstairs for naps in our bed and also I will be looking after my toddler so I can't leave him. Toddler also wont leave baby alone so if I do attempt to put him in the cot downstairs my toddler shakes it or throws stuff in it or screams or tries to grab at him. Baby wont settle into the carrier either!

I'm terrified how I am going to allow baby to get enough sleep and also how I am going to be able to deal with things like toddlers lunch and nap and bath and bedtime if I can't put the baby down anywhere either because he screams or because my toddler will cause him harm.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

And yes to a double pushchair, lifesaver for me and we used it for 2 years until it simply was too heavy to handle, then sold it (dd1 bolted so I used it longer than many people do)

Exactly what I was going to suggest. Also, it can take a bit of perseverance with some babies. Start moving/walking/talking/singing to them as soon as they're in. It could take a few minutes but they will usually settle. And once you've done it a few times they will likely start to settle much more quickly.

(Qualified babywearing peer supporter.)

I am putting it on multiple times a day. We sing and rock and walk around and have tried doing it inside and outside. He just hates it but hopefully he just doesn't like the stretchy wrap and would prefer something else!

Both of mine hated a sling (and so did I), it’s not a magic solution for everyone.
Can you put him down in a crib/moses basket once he is asleep?

We are trying to practice this but on the odd occasion he falls asleep in my arms he wakes up as soon as I transfer even if I wait for him to go into a deep sleep and do the whole feet, bum, head and keep my hands there for a bit. He is not an easy baby sleep wise bless him.

I sympathise, one of mine was like this. I used to have to put him in the cot and keep my hands around him for a while and then very gradually slowly release one finger at a time and back away.
Also just a thought, is he warm enough? Maybe if he goes to sleep in your arms in a light sleeping bag he might be happier to go down in the cot as he’ll still be snuggly.

Can you still get pram seats ? If so the todfler can sit on that when they get tired . You've got your hands full ! .

I have tried wrapping him up in a blanket but I could try him in a sleep sack though!

I know you can get buggy board seats but I don't think he would sit in it to he honest. I am hunting for a double buggy which is practical but will fit into the car!

100% got my hands full but wouldn't change it even if a bit exhausted.

I’ve got the Bugaboo Donkey and its perfect for my two honestly worth a look! My 2 year old also would not sit on a buggy board for more than 30 seconds😂

Its pricey but possibly worth it! How did you find getting it through doorways and into your boot?

The only doorway I can’t get it through is our little corner shop but that one is teeny with a tight corner and I used to struggle even getting my single pram in there. Boot is fine in both cars, the only thing is my husband’s car is the smaller one and when baby was in bassinet part we used to have to put the bassinet on the front seat because it wouldn’t fit in the boot altogether but now as the two seats it is fine x

I second the advice about trying other slings! There are 22 months between my eldest two and youngest two, and I genuinely couldn’t have parented without the Ergobaby 360.

Youngest turned one last month and has had all naps in the sling since they were about 6 weeks old. It was similar (though not as exclusive!) with the second child. I need to be mobile at all times to get stuff done and do school runs. Plus, I love a contact nap.

Do you swaddle? My 8 week old has been in their love to dream swaddle since few days old. It settles him much better x

We have tried the love 2 deam swaddle but he doesn't settle in that unfortunately.