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3/4am long wakes

7 replies

Pinkfairy80 · 15/04/2026 19:51

My daughter is 2 at the weekend and has recently had a few nights where she wakes at 3-4am and will be awake up to 2+ hours. She wakes and grizzles, I've tried leaving her a few mins but it's never resulted in her going back to sleep by herself, I can tell when she's just getting more unsettled so I I will go in and sit next to her cot, just lay her back down and she will lay there, I think nodding off momentarily at times but not enough for me to leave the room (hard to tell when it's dark and can't see if her eyes are closed). I've tried a few variations of going in , telling her its sleep time and leaving again / parting her to sleep but it just ends up going on twice as long as she stirs again when I stop or leave it seems she literally just needs me in the room to go back to sleep. Last night I just went in, settled her very briefly with hardly any interaction, and sat in the same spot for one hour with until she fell into a deep enough sleep on her own. Does this just sound like another phase? She generally has one 30-40 min nap, I cut it down from one hour when we had several nights of her waking at 4am wide awake and ready to start the day a few months ago, and ever since she's had shorter naps with going to bed between 7-7.30 she has slept really well - these odd times now are not every night, I'd say we've had 4-5 recently but never been two nights in a row. She's had the odd day with no nap but really struggled by 5pm, so I don't think ready to drop it yet, perhaps if it continues we push bedtime back a bit until she drops the nap and then bring it forward again if needed?

OP posts:
Easylifeornot · 16/04/2026 04:06

Mine had much later bedtimes of around 9 until they dropped their naps. Although I’ve been up for hours too night with my nearly 10 year old so I’m maybe not the best person to ask.

BastetBaby · 16/04/2026 09:09

My 2 year old is doing the same thing and I don't understand it. Her crazy early wakes also seem random - they don't seem related to her naps.

Maybe it's a phase???

Peonies12 · 16/04/2026 09:50

I'd do bedtime 7.30-8, that's what we do, and our 18 month only has 30-40 min nap. It's hard but also get her up by a set time regardless of how long she was awake in the night. If you let her 'lie in' to compensate, it will just compound the problem.

Pinkfairy80 · 16/04/2026 12:00

Peonies12 · 16/04/2026 09:50

I'd do bedtime 7.30-8, that's what we do, and our 18 month only has 30-40 min nap. It's hard but also get her up by a set time regardless of how long she was awake in the night. If you let her 'lie in' to compensate, it will just compound the problem.

Yes we were very mindful of this. Occasionally she has tried to compensate in the morning and because we are also exhausted it's very tempting to let us all just stay in bed if she sleeps in! It doesn't happen that often though, even if she's up in the night she very rarely sleeps past 6:30 in the morn

OP posts:
Pinkfairy80 · 16/04/2026 12:02

BastetBaby · 16/04/2026 09:09

My 2 year old is doing the same thing and I don't understand it. Her crazy early wakes also seem random - they don't seem related to her naps.

Maybe it's a phase???

Yeah it's actually easier if you know it's related to their naps or routine cos then you feel you have some control over changing / improving it, but when it appears random like this there's really not much we can do 🙃

OP posts:
Pinkfairy80 · 20/04/2026 06:12

A few days later and we've moved onto 5am wakes (not going back to sleep,) and also throwing her dummy/soft toy she sleeps with out of the cot as soon as I put her down in the evening so we have to go back in and give them back to her, and have to stand in the room while she falls asleep (was previous just leaving the room while she was still awake and she would settle herself to sleep). She throws everything out at 5am too and then lays back down (this tells me she's still tired) and calls us for it to have it back, but then it just repeats until we get her up😕

OP posts:
BastetBaby · 20/04/2026 08:36

Could it be an emotional thing? Something in her little developing toddler brain is upsetting her but she doesn't have the language to explain and it's making her not want to be alone at night.

Has there been a change recently? Like potty training, or a new person at nursery, or a change in your daily routine?

Sounds like you're making progress though even if it's still not quite where you want to be. Well done!

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