Can some kind person please explain PU/PD to me like I'm 3 years old?

[IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast]

Thinking of trying this with DS next weekend maybe, he's a very alert, gets-hysterical-when-allowed-to-cry, wakeful baby and DP and I are at the end of our collective tether and really approaching a stage where we need to Do Something.

I hate crying, DP fancies CIO, so I'm hoping this could be a middle ground. DS tends to get stimulated very easily though, so bit worried about it.

Just have no clue what to expect or how to approach it, wondered if anyone could offer experiences/advice?

Not tried this method,had the same problem with our wee one, but did CC last week on our 14 mnth old DD. I know you said you did not like this idea and neither did I....but after a night of only 2 hours sleep, i finally agreed with DH that something needed to be done. It was very hard and upsetting for all of us but after 3 nights she is finally sleeping through the night for the first time in 14 months! and Hurray we have our evenigs back!!

It is hard and takes a lot of commitment, but believe you me it works.

Good luck with whatever you try x

I think the idea is that you respond each time they cry, and pick them up, but put them down again as soon as they stop crying, until they finally get the message that you are there, you care, but they need to sleep! (I could be wrong!) We kind of did a mix of this and controlled crying- I really couldn't bear to leave her crying for any longer than a minute (I was pretty pathetic, really!), so I sat and stroked her when she cried, but then left again. You feel like it's never going to work, but on the thrid night or so it seems to click. I liked the idea of always responding, to let her know I was listening and so that she would know we cared, but at the same time helping her to learn to sleep without feeding/ rocking etc.
hth

This really worked for me when ds2 was 7 months. When they cry pick them up and at their back while making shushing noises then as soon as they stop crying put them back down. If they cry as they are going back down literally just let them touch the mattress then pick them up again.

Keep going and in the end they fall asleep on their own. took me 3 nights and on the second night he put up the most fight and cried longer when I picked him up, but it really wasnt bad and it was just absolute exhaustion that was making him cry.

I kept a record of how many times I picked up so I could see the improvement each night. Good luck.

I'm going to give this a go tonight with our 5 month old DD who is also very alert and has been a nightmare to get to sleep both in the day and at night. Sleeping has gone from bad to worse this week, she won't sleep in the day unless jiggled or fed and then won't be put down, and won't sleep in her cot at night at all any more. Don't want to do CC or CIO and am hoping PUPD is a gentler method. Will be watching with interest to see how you get on!

Thanks very much for the helpful replies.

So, to clarify, I feed him, wake him a bit then put him in bed, then leave. When he cries I go back in, lie him down and leave again. Repeat ad nauseum?

Do I stay until he's stopped crying or do I just lie him down and go? He's unlikely to settle on my return, or even with being lifted, do I just hold him until he's all cried out before putting him down again then?

He doesn't always eat too well, is it ok to feed him when he wakes before doing the PUPD? I hate the thought that he's crying from hunger/thirst, and he usually feeds a lot at night.

Sorry, it's always the technicalities which catch me out and I need to have this dead clear in my head so I have no way of backing out and so we're consistent from the start.

I had a look for the book but cant find it, but I also had the feeding issue and wanted to be sure he wasnt hungry or thirsty. I judt wanted him to learn to settle himself after a feed so I fed first and then put him down sroked his back and left. Then when he cried I went back in and tried to soothe him in his cot, if he didnt settle imediately I picked him up. As soon as they stop crying you put them down. If they cry pick and soothe etc etc.

I think I did something like 17 PU's over an hour an a half the first night, down to 11 the second and 6 the third. He still wakes once a night but tbh I count myself lucky with that!

I felt quite bad beause it seemed like ds was so happy to be picked up then really confused to be put down but I liked the idea that you dont leave them crying. At first I didnt even get to leave the room it was up down up down but it definately got better quickly.

You could always check the forums on the Baby Whisperer website.

www.thebabywhisperer.com/babywhisperer.html

Hi! Just to let you know that DS had a very difficult sleeping phase around 4.5 months. I considered everything, did nothing and it fixed itself after two weeks. I heard from many mothers that their kids had a change in sleeping patterns around that time. But to be honest, here we are two months later and again in a very difficult sleeping phase. But the last two months were no porblem at all (he wakes every three hours, but that was fine with me) Good luck and let us know how is goes!

Rosemary C and Lottie, did you try it? I want to try it this weekend as going crazy. Do you have to leave the room between each put down? Is patting allowed etc?

You don't leave the room. You don't pat to sleep, but a pat and a shush on put down is fine. Basically they are learning to sleep by themselves.

I tried it with dd (14 months) At this age you simply lie back down again, not pick up. But this did nothing to comfort her. She was far more wound up and frustrated by me lying her down again and again, it became a battle between us. She was so angry. I did CC instead, and still am. She is the worst sleeper and the most spirited baby I have ever met! Temper!

A friend did PUPD at an early age, but found that baby learned NOT to stop crying on pick up as she knew that as soon as she did she would be put down again. That makes more sense to me than the actual reason behind it...which is...? If you start crying I will comfort you but as soon as you are you're going back to bed.

Anyway, the Baby Whisperer site has some great advice and clearly it works for some. I personally find it harder than CC and so does my DD. Horses for courses.

Did you try it IAteRosemary?

My DD suddenly went into sleeping freefall (after being a good sleeper) 8 days ago after an illness. She refuses to sleep anywhere but with me. I'm trying to devise a plan for tomight. I'm so shattered. She's a very alert baby too and won't stop crying by herself once she's started.

I'm going to see how you got on and then maybe start a thread myself.

p.s. hope you're still sleeping!