Please reassure me I'm not doing this all wrong/setting up bad habits/ensuring my child never ever sleeps through the night - losing confidence!

[chunkypudding]

DS is just past 5 months. For quite a while now he has been waking up lots at night and always seems hungry (am bf.) So I always feed him, and he goes back to sleep.

I know that at his age he can physically make it for longer periods without food, but I don't want to force him into anything, certainly don't want to refuse a hungry baby food!

My question is, really; will this just gradually sort itself out if I just keep going? HV's seem to think I should be stricter with him but I don't want to be, though I'd like some sleep!(I am going off HVs quite a bit at the mo, but this is my first child and as I mentioned in a previous thread my mum is recovering from a mastectomy and prob heading for chemo soon so I can't lean on her too much as its not fair so don't really have anyone in rl who supposedly 'knows stuff except HV's)

Am back at the 'am I just a bit rubbish at this?' stage.

DS is a happy little chap and very well loved. I know I should be able to reassure myself a bit from that....

if you are happy and he is happy then what's the problem?
you are doing great!

5 months is really early AND a big growth spurt time. I certainly wouldn't worry about being 'strict' at this age.

Are you getting enough rest and time to relax? Are you getting all the help you can? I'd focus more on managing the tiredness than changing your DS's behaviour for the moment (tried that with DS, didn't work, just got more stressed).

i think you need to stop l;istening to what other people are telling you and believe in yourself babies wake in the night, its a FACT. How you deal with them is often what comes naturally, so if that bf and cuddle then so be it. Dont feel bad, feel happy

If he's happy and you're happy that's fine. Be very sceptical about anyone who says you should be stricter with babies! Nod and agree and carry on with what you're doing. And have him in bed with you if you'll get more sleep that way.

Oh, and if he's hungry, feed him - they often go through a bit of a growth spurt at this sort of age, so he needs the milk.

I agree. It sounds like he's happy and healthy and that you're doing great.
When my DD reached 9 months I finally decided enough was enough and stopped feeding her at night, but I was still feeding her every 3 hours for the first 6 or 7 months.
Yes, he'll naturally wake less as he gets bigger. It just takes longer for some than others.
Follow your instincts and you'll both be fine.

i personally think the bad habits thing is utter bollocks, particularly at that age. hopefully things will settle down soon, you sound like the family has a lot on its plate.

thanks all. i do think the hvs are talking bollix but its hard to stay strong sometimes as i don't really have a clue what i'm doing!

a bit overwhelmed with stress re mum, lack of sleep, and the business i run with dp is now starting to suffer from my absence so having to try and kick arses/sweet talk big clients on very little sleep and with a baby in tow and am really reaaly worried about how much paching up i have to do when go back part time and...

oh god just feeling sorry for myself again. only time i ever post on mn. sorry!

have a beaming dribbly creature wriggling on my lap who is strongly advising me not to worry

dp is lovely too. i'll shut up now and pull myself together

Do whatever is right for you and your lo.

I am currently night weaning 9m0 DD and haven't encountered too many problems so far. Mainly because I think she is ready, rather than it being dictated to her.

Do whatever is right for you and your lo.

I am currently night weaning 9m0 DD and haven't encountered too many problems so far. Mainly because I think she is ready, rather than it being dictated to her.

chunkypudding, 5 months was when my dd's sleep went to pot. It was also when I started co-sleeping with her. It did not cure the wakings, but I sure felt better not having to physically get up to settle her.

Her sleep will eventually sort itself out. As she matures, she will take shorter to go from light to deep sleep, her sleep cycles will get longer (hence more of the lovely deep sleep) and she will become more difficult to wake.

With my dd, she suddenly went from waking at least 5 times a night to sleeping through when I weaned her from bf-ing - 17 months. She might very well have slept through earlier, but the point is, if you have to push her to do it, it will work like a dream if she is ready, but not before. So I agree with mumtomoo.

At 4.9, dd can sleep through an earthquake.

I have only just stopped feeding in the night dd 14mnths, I'm sure it was mostly for comfort but it is only now that she has been ready....go with your instincts, you sound like you are doing a great job

In my case it sorted itself out. DD slept through from about 3-6 months, stopped at 6 months and woke up varying nos. of times a night until 13 months when she slept through for a small window of two weeks, then started waking up again (molars) and now, at 15 months, has been sleeping through for about the past month.

5 months!
My DS is still doing this at 14 months and it graduallly is getting better, with blips when he's ill. I'm confident he will get there soon - hopefully before he's 2 as each night he seems to go a bit longer.

(oh I'm going to regret saying that)

You're doing fine - so long as he is happy and growing well there's nothing to worry about. My DS needed bf'ing at least once in the night up until he reached 6mo - he is now 6m 3 weeks old and sometimes goes through the night but sometimes doesn't and needs a feed at about 1:30; occasionally (like last night) he needed 2 or 3 after going to bed.

I'll find out later whether giving in to him creates bad habits but tbh, if he goes back to sleep after having a little drink, then what is the problem?

oh and I wouldn't change it - think he may be stoping soon of his own accord

thanks again everyone!

think it is just doing my head in at the mo as he seems to be feeding much more frequently at night than in the day!

and I'm very very tired (I know, who isn't??) and things are a bit tough generally at the mo.

and I am now spotty as a teenager which along with the just-been-headbutted dark circles and grey blotchy skin makes me feel oooo just lovely.

On the plus side we are finally able to go and see mum this weekend. still don't know what she is up against in terms of chemo but should know soon. and it will be so good to see her, tho i'll have to pin ds's arms down as his affection tends towards violence....

thanks for helping me keep going. this is a bloody lonely job sometimes!!! x