Blatant scrounging for support, sorry

[IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast]

That's it really. Having a crappy time at the moment, DS driving me nuts and not getting on very well with DP (probably because we're so tired but what's new) and working and so knackered and really, really (excuse this) fucked off in general.

DS is 11 months and goes to bed around 7ish. Without fail he wakes at 11 and refuses to sleep without a feed. Thereafter wakes around 1ish and comes into our bed waking a further unrecordable number of times (that's if he'll go back to sleep). Up between 5 and 6. Naps for around 1.25 hours from 8am and ideally 1.25 hours late morning.

He's teething a lot, doesn't do the red cheeks thing but loads of drool and chewing and I can tell if it's bugging him because he'll insist on sleeping with my nipple in his mouth, sucking fervently. If he's obviously sore I can deal with this.

When he's not bothered by something (around 1% of the time recently) he has a feed then settles in the cot with a few pats, dead easy.

It's the inbetween bits that drive me crazy. For example, tonight he went down at 7.15 really easily, needed settled (just a few pats) around 8.30 and then woke at 11. Went to feed him (resistance is futile at 11, he will only settle for a feed so I am just assuming he's needing it) and then he refused to settle down to sleep, he just lies there awake as long as I pat him and if I stop he jumps up and clambers around the cot. He's neither unhappy or asleep. If I leave the room he eventually howls for me but if I'm in there he's trying to engage me. Invariably it's an unhappy ending because he ends up screaming (as opposed to crying) like he is right now as DP tries to comfort him. Then i go and feed him again and he goes to sleep. But always a fight before we can return to a sleepy stage.

DP wants to shut the door and leave him to it, much of the time. I'm reluctant given the frequency of miserable teething spells and also because if allowed to get properly upset he's a hysterical adrenaliney kind of baby which I can't listen to without intervening. I'm finding myself getting so angry with him though that I think we do need to do something about it.

So sick of this all.

Oh sweetheart, you must all be exhausted.

Would it be worth trying to dreamfeed him at about 10pm, so then he may not wake up fully, and sleep on more easily?

He just wakes up when we do that

Since my lasy post I have successfully broken the baby montior so DP's extra-pissed off, DS is shrieking because I fed him again and he still kicked off screaming when I took him off after he'd finished and now DP's doing a Nurofen run while I try to cool down again.

It's this 2-hour stint of being wide awake just when I am at my most tired and in need of bed. We never entertain him or put lights on or anything stimulating, he just wakes up and after a feed he's awake. Same goes if we take him into bed, he crawls around and kicks and claws at me until I have had enough and he gets put in his cot in his room so he cries and once he's got himself really upset (and only once he's really upset, not before) he'll go back to sleep with another feed. But getting that upset on a regular basis isn't good for him at all, goes against all my instincts and isn't sustainable surely, but absolutely nothing else works.

Is there a [blubbing like a kid] anywhere?

Much sympathy! dd1 was a bit like this- she just wanted me to sit and hold her hand. All night! Keep repeating like a mantra This-too-shall-pass, this-too-shall-pass! It will!! It will get better. In the meantime use any method or trick that keeps you within glimpse of sanity- DH used to drive down the motorway to the airport, so dd1 would go to sleep and I could get some time to collect myself- I'm sure we will be on a list of security risks somewhere the amount of times he drove around that airport! Eventually we did a kind of controlled crying that went in 30 second intervals up to 5 minutes- I hated it, and Dh called it uncontrolled crying, cos she was wailing in one room and I was wailing in the other and he saw little control anywhere!! But it worked in 4 days.

Whatever way you deal with it, it WILL get better and you will look back and try to outdo friends with babies with your horror stories that will seem oh so funny then!! Amazing how I can say now "Oh I remember getting 4 hours sleep in a 48 hr period- it was horrendous!" and yet actually not really really remember just HOW horrendous it was, with DH and I ready to tear each others heads off!

How are you all doing today?
I hope you managed to get some sleep.

Well, DP and I are sort of speaking again. DS slept from half 1 until half 5 so that was something. Think I'm going to have a go with pick up put down next weekend. DS down for the night but really screamy before bed and insistent on sucking loads, sure there's teeth trouble at the bottom of all this. DP certain he's just wailing out of tiredness and not getting his own way but he had well over 2 hours sleep this afternoon so don't think it's that

Just going through one of those crappy miserable phases I reckon. Thanks for kind posts though, makes me feel better.