How to drop 10 month old night feed and teach him to self settle ? Xx

[Anon6341]

Hey all, just wanted some tips / opinions please! So my 10.5 month old is a really good sleeper ( sleeps 10ish hours at night sometimes on a good night we get 12) he also wakes for 1 bottle at night usually but the odd night he won’t. Coming up to him turning 1 I obviously want him to drop that night feed as I’m sure there is a limit to cows milk? So he wouldn’t actually even be able to have that night bottle would he lol? Tips on how to do that please !! And also would love for him to learn to self settle. Currently to go to sleep for bed he usually will fall asleep drinking his bottle with a lullaby on in my bed cuddling him. Although for naps the only way I can get him to fall asleep ( which I know is a horrible way) is to lay down cuddling him and put on Mickey Mouse - he then falls asleep watching it. He’s been going down for naps like this for like 2 months ( I know, so bad ) but he was refusing naps and bedtime and evrything constantly and he finally went sleep that way once not on purpose so I tried again the next day to speed up him going down and we fell into a habit🫠🫠 really want to be able to just lay him down in his cot with a lullaby on and walk out the room and him self settling to sleep. Please help!!! Xxx

Ferber method x

Is this the one where you set 5 minute timers between going in or do you just not go in at all ? x

It's fine to continue bottles for a bit and if you've got a good sleeper I wouldn't risk rocking that boat. I think we cut it bottles with my first at about 16m (and regretted it as a 15 minutes bottle and back to sleep turned into 2hrs+ every night and it took another 7 years to get back to the sleep we had before!). You don't want them to be still having it at 2 or 3 but there doesn't have to be a hard cut off at 12m.

He’s still a very young baby and if he’s only waking up once for a bottle then he needs it!

He probably doesn’t need it. It’s habit. He’s not going through the night really is he? He’s waking and wanting milk. You can try not giving it. Not sure how you know whether he’d settle back down of you don’t try. If he’s screaming the house down, I guess you will heve to stay with it. What time does he wake up? Would adjusting sleep time help? We put ours to bed much later than friends did but they did 8 hours from 2 months old. We got 10 to 6. Longer as they got older and we brought bedtime earlier. My DDs were never sleepy though but we got 10 hours in the end. Fine by us but no waking after 2 months but breastfed.

I do kind of think it’s a bit of a habit and an easier way for him to fall back to sleep because of him not knowing how to self settle. Sometimes he will only drink like 4oz. Last night he slept 9-7 and he didn’t wake for a bottle so it’s not every night but it’s most nights so then that makes me think well maybe it isn’t a habit maybe he just didn’t eat as much that day so maybe he needs it. ( he’s very hit and miss some days he eats loads some days he just picks at it ) once he’s asleep there isn’t a peep from him and when he does wake for a bottle he doesn’t even wake up crying he just starts standing in his cot babbling to himself but then gets whingey because I think he can’t get back to sleep maybe not because of the bottle. So hard to tell lol.

Also he usually wakes between 6-7 but recently he has been ill so his bedtime has been a bit all over the place cause I’ve been letting him nap longer so it pushes bedtime back but he always has roughly the same wake up time x

That’s what I’m worried about because after the 4 month regression he never went back to being a good sleeper probably until he was about 7ish months so slightly traumatised from the sleep deprivation at that time😆 that’s when he started to get into the habit of watching tv to fall asleep but I don’t want that as a habit anymore at all because he doesn’t even really have screen time during the day I really limit it, so really don’t want it to continue him needing that to fall asleep. I think it’s because he’s a really active baby that just wants to be everywhere and he’s so easily distracted that when he’s laying watching Mickey he just lays still and drifts off to sleep in literally the space of like 10 minutes - where as if I didn’t have it on he wouldn’t sit still for longer than a minute and just tries to play or get up and crawl around or stand up etc. he finds it really really hard to wind down and relax to fall asleep

@Anon6341 At 10 months he’s quite active then. He’s standing in the cot. Once he’s done this, I guess it’s more difficult to settle back down. I might be inclined to see where the whinging leads. Full blown crying or petering out? It might also be a food led issue. Could he have a bigger supper so he’s full for longer? Just try a few things, so how he reacts. At least with a bottle both parents can feed him!

I'm confused why you are thinking 'self settling' at bedtime is necessary when he sleeps so well at night? I still cuddle/feed my 18 month to sleep, it's completely normal for kids to have support to fall asleep. I didn't do bottles so not sure if this would work but I'd keep reducing the volume of the bottle. It doesn't have to be a hard cut off at 12 months for formula or bottles I don't think but you could work towards it. if the TV works for naps just do it, why make life difficult.

@Peonies12 Isn’t it about waking and wanting a bottle feed? Good sleeper overall but needing a feed in the early hours. I liked sleeping through personally. It’s not about him going into his cot in the first place and sleeping: it’s the waking up later.

Yes I’m going to try and get him to snack more through the day also and giving him extra water etc because I saw that can help! If i was just unsure as I’m a ftm and my health visitor said last week they can’t go over a certain amount of cows milk which would be roughly a bottle in the morning and at night before bed, so was unsure what to do if he wanted one in the night as he’ll only be on 2 bottles a day then where as now he has 3 ! Thank you for your help c

Yes. Try water and more food. You can but try! I know cows milk is designed for cows!

Yes ideally you'd cut bottles and formula around 12 months. but there is no guarantee that will stop baby waking! 1 wake within the night is really good at that age, I think you need to have realistic expectations.

@Peonies12 Hmm, maybe for some. Would have annoyed me after DC sleeping well for hours. Not all babies have to be attended to. They can settle back down themselves.

Poor thing, give him his bottle and the comfort he’s seeking. Ferber is cruel. He literally recommends leaving babies to cry even if they vomit in distress