Getting out of bed as soon as we close the door

[Newdaddy2023]

Our 2.5 year old has always been a good sleeper - a solid 11/12 hours a night. And I appreciate how fortunate we were for that.

But it's all changed this week and for the past 5 nights we've had:

• getting out of the bed as soon as we close the door. Last night must have been 30+ times to try and get him down.
• coming into our room at 1-2am ready to play
• up properly from 5am (used to be 7.30am on the dot)

Trying to work out what's changed, and how we can get him back to more sleep (as he's now not getting enough at night),

if could be related to potty training, as he now doesn't like wet nappies, and it could be that he's just learn the agency to get out of bed and open the door.

would love any tips to change course back to a solid night's sleep for all!

Don’t close door leave it open?

Stay with him til hes asleep? Does he still nap?

Put a stair get across the outside of the door. So he can't get out. Keep putting him back to bed. He will soon realise its boring.

Thank you!

Just sat on a chair and waited it out - 2 hours!

He has an hour or so in the day

Time to ditch the nap or accept a much later bedtime.

Ditch the nap, this is a sign!

im not sure - you can't keep him awake at lunchtime after a morning running around. But we could shorten it to 30 mins.

Stairgate across the door and leave him to it, the more attention it is given the more it will turn into a game. Put him back to bed as few times as possible. He will likely put himself back there eventually without anything more entertaining going on.

I’d be cutting that down shorter with a view to stopping. He’s telling you he’s not tired enough to go to bed at usual time.

Definitely a stair gate across the door and definitely do NOT stay with him till he falls asleep - rod for own back!

Cosleep for a bit, it’s hard now but they just want to be close to someone. It won’t be forever.

God forbid a tiny child wants to feel safe whilst falling asleep. The idea of how they fall asleep affecting night sleep is baseless.

Another one saying cut the nap. He'll adjust.

Thanks all - appreciate all the help and support

I think most parents are well able to tell the difference between a child who is not feeling safe and needs comfort and one who is just cross that he has to go to bed and is having a tantrum. We then respond accordingly.

We have two sets of stairs in our house, so when we changed our DS’s cot to a bed, we decided to put a baby gate on his door, as we always left his door open at night. He never got out of bed or tried to climb the gate anyway as he’s a good sleeper but it may stop your DS coming into your room in the night?

My DC did this - thanks to my MIL telling them to "come visit granny" if they got scared in the night on a visit. DC NEVER had been scared in the night but it was obviously thrilling to visit granny and then realized they COULD leave their room. After we returned, we had 6 weeks of exactly what you described - leaving repeatedly at bedtime and then coming to our room repeatedly in the middle of the night. Happened again randomly when DC was 6, suddenly didn't want to be left after having been an excellent sleeper from birth, barring the 6 weeks when they were 3. We did the walk back repeatedly with no interaction. If you look up 1000 walks I think that's what it's called. Discussion, reason etc all was very counter productive. No interaction, stay totally calm, put them back in bed. We did lock the door during nap time once when DC was 3 and stayed right outside (it is a fire hazard otherwise). DC was not happy about it but stopped leaving (and in no way indicated they were distressed at sleeping time until they were 6).

Some nights I put DC back in bed 30 times easily but after a few days, it worked. It helped me to accept it was going to be shit and I sat outside their door with a book and comiserated via text with friends who had experienced similar. DH frankly couldn't hack it and would get frustrated and start arguing with DC which totally defeated the purpose. The first time, DC eventually gave up. When DC was 6, I ended up agreeing to slowly back away once she was mostly staying in there, so I would sit outside, then on the stairs, then further up the stairs etc. and we ended up that she likes us to have the video baby monitor and still occasionally asks us to watch over her but doesn't leave her room uncessearily.

I TOTALLY disagree with people saying to drop the nap unless he is otherwise showing signs. DC was napping 2 hours every day (bedtime 7:30, up about 6:30) and continued to nap that length for almost 2 further years after we sorted bedtime. It was not tiredness related AT ALL. I have noticed generally that all of our British friend's kids stop napping very early compared to our American friends. None of my American friends' kids gave up naps before 4.

Agree with PP about putting a stair gate on his door. Then, you can let him get up but not attend to him unless he actually needs it, so unless he gets really loud or distressed. When you attend to him use the same boring phrase over and over to put him back to bed. It’s bedtime, you need to try and sleep etc. We did this when we moved DD from a cot to a bed at around 20 months. Make sure his room is free of toys though. Nothing apart from a few favourite stuffies and books. It has to be boring in there. Has he got a Yoto or Tonie? Those are good for evening wind down. Leave him a potty on some puppy pads to use if he wants and knows how. He’ll give up and get used to it all eventually.

I also don’t think it’s necessarily nap-related, especially not if he’s not fighting it. Much more likely to be the combo of potty training and realising he can, as you suggest.

Last night was shorter day nap, into bed at 7.15pm, in and out of bed until 9.30pm. Up at 4.45am. Think we need to prepare ourselves for a painful few weeks.

The short answer is there is nothing you can do. This is newly found independence (and they have a seapartion anxiety) and they don't have the capacity at this age to reason, at least until they're 3 they won't understand and for them it's play. It's a normal development phase, my daughter is 2y2months and we just swaped the sleep sac to duvet/pillow and bed times are 100 times harder because she can just get up and play in the cot, I am sure if we'd move her to her own bed she'd do the same.

The only thing I can think of is to maybe introduce a lovey and see if that helps with his separation anxiety and then he will sleep through again. Hang in there! :)

Sleep needs decrease over time, so you continually need to adjust their schedule. Split nights are generally a sign of a lack of sleep pressure (not tired enough to stay asleep) so you have two options: cap the nap further, or keep the nap as is, and push bedtime back later.

At this age I could only give my child 30 minutes or they'd be awake until 10/11pm. Many kiddos start to drop their nap at this time so it's very normal for people to see sleep changes around about now.

Cap the nap, see what happens after a week.

Personally I wouldnt be barricading my toddler in a room! But try at least a week with a shorter nap and see what happens