Why can they self settle sometimes and not others?

[bluebean]

At 7pm I put DD (6mths)in to her cot, awake, and she will quite happily at fall asleep. Brilliant.

But, she then wakes up twice/three times a night. She'll only go back to sleep if fed (BF) and can't seem to self settle. Likewise she will only nap during the day if in her pram or in the car.

I've tried to recreate the same routine each time I put her down (both naps and during the night). I've also tried rocking, cuddling and lying down with her. Only feeding works during the night and only movement works during the day.

It seems churlish to complain as she was a dreadful sleeper for the first 3.5mths. In comparison the current routine isn't that bad really. I'd be happy to continue thus if I wasn't going back to work in two months time. But I'm not sure if the childminder will be able to go for the marathon afternoon walks or if I'll be able to cope with broken sleep and work the next day.

Any suggestions? TIA

hello - no miracle solution i'm afraid but a note from a fellow sufferer! dd2 is exactly the same, goes down no problem but then awake for feeds every two hours from 11:30-ish or earlier. i have posted here for advice but no joy yet!
i have managed to get dd2 to self settle after being bf in night though - which is some help as at least keeps things as brief as possible. i used same technique as when i trained her to self settle at beginning of evening, ie not picking her up but shushing and stroking and gradually cutting down contact until just sitting next to her and then leaving room as she settled. it took a few nights (she was used to coming to bed with us as she'd been ill) but has worked so at least now i get up, feed, put her down and go back to bed.
like you, i feel bad complaining as she used to be much, much worse but, again, i'm due back to work in a couple of months.
i 'just' need to drop the night feeds. i know what i should do - prob cold turkey and it's the last stage in a long process (started in jan or feb with excellent sleep advice from trainer/hv who identified a feeding problem leading to sleep issue so started with that) I'm just fighting shy of the final hurdle.
hth a bit - and wishing you luck!

Thanks! It's always reassuring to know you're not the only one with a particular problem.

Perhaps I can offer a bit of hope too?

DD has over the last couple of nights, with no help from me at all, started to sleep until 6.30am from her dream feed at midnight. It seems so miraculous and it is entirely down to her.

The only things I have perhaps contributed are:
(1) Let her sleep in her own room (she's been there for a while now)
(2) Learning the difference between the "I need you cry" and the "I'm barely awake whimper" and learning to ignore the latter.

I am slowly slowly learning that she will learn to do things when she's ready - not when I think she should be ready. It's all too easy to angst and worry over things (especially when sleep deprived) which, with time, will sort themselves out.

I still have no clue about how to solve the daytime nap issues, or indeed if this nighttime miracle will continue. I'm just going to try to relax and enjoy my last few months of mat leave without stressing all the time.

Like so many new Mums I was used to sorting out problems by asking advice or reading up on possible solutions. I have finally realised that having a child does not work in the same way. DD is gradually teaching me how to be her Mum. Mostly by just letting her get on with things at her own pace.

That's probably not much help! But I wish you lots of luck and hope the sleep miracle will head your way soon.

Glad things seem better bluebean - just wanted to add my tuppence worth.

I think at 6 months sometimes they want fed in the night because they need the nutrition. DS is 11 months and is still definitely hungry during the night sometimes.

In the daytime I think they rely on the hypnotic effects of motion because there are distractions and things going on which make falling asleep harder for them. By giving them something to concentrate on which is rhythmic and soothing they can focus on that to help themselves fall asleep.

That's just my theory based on observing my sleepless little blighter over the last few months. He's thrown it all out of the window now of course, but that's babies for you ... [rolls eyes]