Help with 6 month old short naps, false starts and frequent night waking

[Mel202]

Really would like to help my little one sleep better and make bedtimes less painful!

DS is just 6 months and for about the last 2 months sleep has felt like such a battle! Any advice so welcome!

I have a 3 and a 5 year old, so I have school and nursery runs I have to work around. DS usually wakes around 6-6.30, first nap around 1.5-2 hours later. Without fail nap is 35-40 mins long. He’s then awake for probably 2.5-3 hours (whatever I do!) and usually we’re out and about so he’ll drift off in pushchair or car. Again one sleep cycle and he’s awake.

He really will not go off in the carrier or being fed around my other DCs that he’s a bit older.

3rd nap usually on school run so 3pm ish. Eyes ping open after 30 mins. Bedtime is normally around 7pm as I need to sort out my other little ones too. He takes so long to settle at bedtime that I need to get the others down first so I can focus on him. I know he’s so so overtired by that point, we often have flailing arms and 20-40 mins of crying. I’ve accepted that I’m feeding him to sleep but even that doesn’t seem to be working that well, he is on and off the boob crying and just gets so worked up. Every evening without fail he does a false start around 40 mins after I’ve got him down which again I know is down to the ovetiredness. He has a dummy but it doesn’t seem to be helping him to settle around sleep times or back at night.

Occasionally if I pick him up when he’s already asleep, before he’s done a sleep cycle, and shove him on the boob and keep it in his mouth I can get him to sleep for longer on me. I have to sit in darkness and silence which is pretty much impossible on a daily basis with my other 2! Can do that maybe 2 days a week if my other 2 are at nursery and school.

At night he is up 1-2 hourly and I co-sleep with him from about 4am when I get desperate but find it so uncomfortable!
I sleep trained my middle child and absolutely detested it so keen to avoid but current situation feels unsustainable!

Thank you in advance lovely mums :)

Short day time naps are common at this age and not necessarily an issue.

The main problem you have is he can't settle himself to sleep, so when he wakes after a sleep cycle in the evening he can't resettle.

Instead of feeding to sleep at bedtime is try patting and shushing him in the cot with the dummy. Pick up put down if he gets upset.

How much is he eating during the day. Are you feeding him overnight? I think some 6 month old babies are super hungry and if that’s not right in the day, then nights will be disturbed.
I’m also going to go against the grain and ask what happens when you put him to bed an hour later than normal? I always thought my first was overtired, but it was only when I gave up with naps all together when she was 22 months and she slept through, that I realised she was chronically undertired at bedtime for that whole 22 months

Thank you so much for the replies :)
He feeds probably 1.5-3 hourly or so in the day, I don’t count feeds or restrict him day or night. I don’t have the headspace or willpower at night to not feed him at the moment! I think he sometimes is hungry, other times it’s just comfort but I do think it’s the inability to self settle which is the main issue!
@Dreamingofdaffodils sometimes I’m close to giving up at bedtime and trying again later on so maybe I’ll try that one of these nights!

To unhelpfully contradict the above advice, what happens if you try and put him to bed first at 6:30 or even 6pm? If he's knackered you may need to try before he gets overtired.

I think you need a third nap 30 mins at 5/530 and then put baby to bed last at 8

Mine did mostly 30 min naps until she was well over 12 months, even now she often does 1 x 30 min nap (18 months). For some kids it's all they need. The lengthy bedtime and false starts do suggest a later bedtime would be better. But you'd have to try it consistently for a few weeks to see a difference, you can't just do it once. Feeds at night are totally normal at 6 months, I wouldn't be limiting them. overtired isn't really a thing, it's oversold by 'sleeping consultants' as an issue.

Interesting about yours at 22 months, mine is 18 months and I'm really considering seeing if she can manage without a nap. She needs such high sleep pressure to have good nights, the best nights so far are when she's only had 30 mins nap, before midday.

@Peonies12definitely try it! I’d have saved myself so much stress if I had

Hey @Mel202 how is your little one doing now? Mines is the exact same

Hi @Eagerlywaiting1990! Oh no!
I wish I could say it has improved drastically! I think it is a little better, it seems clear now that he does need 3 naps a day around 9/12/3-4ish and I am able to feed him to sleep for the first 2 normally if we are at home, so I think he must have been going through a resistant phase. Also easier to feed to sleep most bedtimes. Has even dropped off in carrier again if really tired. Nights however are much the same I’m afraid!
How are you getting on?

Its so rough eh?
We're between 3 and 4 naps a day, usually 3 and a 15 minute bridge nap but 95% of these last 30 minutes.
Night sleep involves constant false starts unless I cosleep and then she'll tolerate the next to me from 11pm until around 4am (wih multiple wake ups in between). Ive been trying to feed her more during the day as she is definitely reverse cycling and trying to reduce how much help i give her to get to sleep so she can learn to self soothe. She'll soon outgrow the next to me and have to go to her own room...how on earth will that work? 🤣

@Eagerlywaiting1990 yes it sounds as if they have been swapping notes! I met up with a mum friend today with a baby the same age and her baby peacefully slept in the pushchair for over an hour while mine of course did the usual 25 mins! Mine is also nearly too big for the snuzpod too…I just have no idea what my plan is! Keep me posted anyway!

We used a full size travel cot in our bedroom, as mine outgrew the next-to-me at about 4 months... I personally wouldn't be trying to extend naps. The more they sleep in the day, the less they will sleep at night - each baby only needs a certain amount of sleep within 24 hours.

A lot of babies just can’t do long 11-12 hour night sleeps and if you try they’ll wake frequently or have split nights or start their day really early. Could you push his bedtime to after your other kids because they might actually need more night sleep than him at the moment.

Are you sure it’s overtiredness causing the problems at bedtime? If he’s only doing 30 minute naps and needs to be latched on to do more, he could be under tired. I have a low sleep needs baby who is off the bottom of the charts and things got better when we brought his bedtime later (currently we do 8:30-6:00) and not resettling naps or capping them if he’s sleeping too long. Everyone was telling me my baby was overtired but the truth is that he was hugely undertired.